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A4A’s No Bullying Policy

(Photo Credits: Linus Schütz from Pixabay)

Hey, guys! Today, we would like to take the time to remind you that Adam4Adam has a no bullying policy. Here on A4A, everybody can be who they truly are, whether they are fem, thicc, slim, hairy, with stretch marks or breast implants, without beard or muscles and if someone tells you otherwise, we encourage you to report that user. 

But how do you report your bullies here on A4A? On the person’s profile, you’ll find the button “report this user;” simply click on it and provide us with details about the bullying incident so that we can investigate and take the appropriate action. We’ll either warn this person or suspend their account depending on the severity of their offense and yes, we do that, it’s not just a lip service.

It’s 2019 and the LGBT community has had enough of bullying already. Online and in real life, people are tired of being someone they are not. They are tired of being body shamed because their body is not perfect like the ones shown in the magazines; they are deemed “too fat,” “too thin,” “too fit.” They are tired of being laughed at for their gender identity or sexual preferences, tired of being described as someone who lacks “MASCulinity” or that they are being “wayyyyy too FEM.” And guess what, A4A is tired of it, too, so let’s all stop bullying and let’s stop the bullies together—you’re just a click away from making it happen.

Bullying has no place here on Adam4Adam, that’s not what we stand for. We always strive to create a fun, welcoming, and a safe place for you to be—to foster a sense of community for all here on A4A.  

We love you, guys!

Have you ever been bullied online and in real life because of your body type, race, disability, etc.? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.


There are 34 comments

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  1. Eddie

    I agree that bullying is bad. But the definition of bullying has become way too broad. If I say that I am only into masculine guys and not into fems or twinks, does that mean that I’m bullying fems and twinks? Absolutely not! Everyone is allowed to have opinions, likes, and dislikes. Everyone is so sensitive these days. Oops, there I go again. That’s probably considered bullying against sensitive people. Jeez! SMH!

    • Mo

      You need to seriously self-reflect and examine WHY you think you are only into masculine men. This is not a “preference” that you are born with out of the womb. Being attracted only to masculine guys is something that is learned, and you learn it through movies, advertisements, porn, etc. You are seriously limiting yourself by being close-minded and not even giving guys of other personality traits a chance. For years, it has been fem guys who are disproportionately rejected/ignored/affected by this “preference.” So no, people are not being overly sensitive. They are finally holding people accountable for their narrow-minded nonsense.

  2. bearblkbttm

    Well, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black…or, black-ish.

    First — I’ve read when you were insulting and self-aggrandizing in responding to some of those commenters who didn’t agree with your blog’s point-of-view. Now, I wouldn’t classify what you said as “bullying,” but it sure showed a lack of respect and a near Trump-like need to be unquestionably “right”.

    (FYI: as a former columnist in print and on-line, I was trained not to care what anyone thought of my work. Because in expressing my truth, any act of belittling those who didn’t agree made it really only about my ego).

    Next — Kudos on making a strong point about “no bullying” on here. But please don’t try to come across like this site is some crusader. It wasn’t that long ago when A4A didn’t care. I’ve been bullied on this site many, many, many times over the years (mainly about my age and/or race). One time I reported someone who was extra-awful, and the response I got from A4A was “just block him.”

    Last — If you are really serious about this, it may help to create specific guidelines of what is not acceptable. Words are very fluid today. I mean again, it wasn’t that long ago, when some members on A4A used terms like “No fatties,” “No blacks,” ” No oldies,” without any repercussions. That seems gone now, but are terms like “DDF,” “Clean, ” “Flabby,” “Real men only,” or “Just my preference” a type of shaming?

    • jim markus

      Well said, I’ve also put up with childish comments from a commenter here when I stated my opinion of men in underwear running around at some pride celebration as what the non gay community see as the stereotypical gay male community.

  3. Edward

    As usual with this sort of thing, feelings are on the forefront, but specifics are lacking.

    Is saying “sorry, not my type” okay? What about “sorry, not into hairy guys”? What about “sorry, not into fem guys”? The last one seems to be exactly what you are talking about in your post, but is it wrong to say that you aren’t into characteristics of people that the openly label themselves as?

    What about “Sorry, I am only into thin smooth twinks”? Is that fat shaming someone?

    Should I just ghost people instead? How does that make the community any better? (Hint: It doesn’t, and what you are doing by vaguely threatening people for stating honestly their sexual preferences is actually damaging to intra-personal relations, and the community on your site)

    We are all adults here. At -some point- we have to stop pretending that this is an elementary school playground with teachers doling out punishments in accordance to vague, unclear rules.

    • Mo

      You need to seriously self-reflect and examine WHY you think you are only into certain types of men. This is not a “preference” that you are born with out of the womb. Being attracted only to a certain type of guy is something that is learned, and you learn it through movies, advertisements, porn, etc. You are seriously limiting yourself by being close-minded and not even giving guys of other body types and personalities a chance. For years, it has been fem guys who are disproportionately rejected/ignored/affected by this “preference.” So no, people are not being overly sensitive or vague. They are finally holding people accountable for their narrow-minded nonsense.

  4. Treyes

    Dudes on A4A: Angry when you don’t respond to them.
    Also Dudes: Angry when you tell them why you aren’t interested.
    LOL

  5. Steven

    I’ve been bullied as a kid. As an adult, in the closet, I’ve been asked over and over to come out and make my sexuality known. Yes, it’s 2019 and wvwryong else has, but, not me. I’ve also been criticized because I’m too old, or have a gut on me or my older photo “can’t possibly be me”. Fortunately I’m strong enough to withstand this and strong enough to block a person if necessary.
    What is bullying? Yes, there’s verbal bullying as I just described, but is this enough to get up on arms about? When did America get to the point that a person can’t say what his preference in a guy is, without it being deemed as bullying?
    I’m dating myself, but when I was young, bullying was truly just a physical thing and similar to A4A where you can block a person, back then, you avoided the bully or got a friend to help curb his advances…or you just got into a wrestling match and solved it. I got into it with a couple of bullies, and ultimately became good friends.
    Wishing we could turn the hands of time back. Today its not just bullying, but everyone offended by this or offended by that. Wishing that a generation as a whole, would “grow a pair” and get over their tenderness and could shoulder it.
    Am I completely wrong?

  6. KEM

    A great policy. Bullying doesn’t belong anywhere.

    Another thing to encourage here on A4A would be a little bet of courtesy.

    Often you send a smile or a comment to someone here but it is never acknowledged in any way shape or form.

    If there is no interest it will only take a second to respond “Thanks for the smile or comment, but no thanks.”

    Then the sender knows, and hopefully will respect the fact that there is no interest and not contact you again.

    • N.Z.H.

      KEM:

      While an “Acknowledgement” is courtesy.” It isn’t a mandate. A contact is arbitrary and is one-way unless it receives a “response”.

      A response is “Arbitrary” and it is not a mandate.

      “Silence” is a response and it is factual.

    • jim markus

      Have been courteous with the “Thanks for the smile or comment, but no thanks.” reply even when it specifically stated in my profile No one under 35, no “smiles”, and no reply to a blank profile, and get abuse from idiots who refuse to read a profile before replying then “they” get offended when you point out their inability to comprehend what they supposedly read.

  7. FriendlyBuddy

    for KEM:

    I agree with you.. I will also add that its apparent to me that most don’t even read the profiles! they see a “hot pic” and then send off a smile..

    so I set up a TEST- I put my name and a simple instruction at the end of my profile to see if anyone follows it.. and only ONE person actually READ the profile! (I get many hits a day, usually but NONE of them are viable. My profile also explains things so that I don’t “waste others’ time” by them sending correspondence with intention to meet- when they didn’t even see the big RESTRICTION that I’m BLIND and cannot drive or travel..) Another thing to keep in mind is I have noticed there are a lot of “robots”; profiles set up to attract clicks for spamming and other solicitations so be careful out there! and one MORE thing to mention: the geo-location thing on A4A DOES NOT WORK especially for logins on computers and some ISPs (like Comcast) which group IPs to regions usually hundreds of miles away! for this, I ask that A4A make a place that allows someone to “set” their Geo-location by city or something.. (NOT referring to the city location in search settings) of course smart phones (except Tracphone or Verizon) don’t have this issue but not everyone has a smart phone (even though its 2019, the blind still can’t operate a smart phone effectively). Have a great day! 🙂

  8. Hunter0500

    “Often you send a smile or a comment to someone here but it is never acknowledged in any way shape or form.”

    The A4A site indicates when you smile or your comment was read (opened). If the receiver chooses to not smile back or send a comment back after opening (or chopses to not even open it), that is a clean response. They were, for whatever reason, not moved to smile or comment back.

    An expectation of a formal written response is on par with entitlement.

    Hey I agree, if the world was all butterflies and unicorns, responses would be sent … AND accepted. But that’s not reality.

  9. GoodolFuckBuddy

    How do you get bullied on here? Bullying is an ongoing process of harassment. Like kids in school do or a boss in a hostile work environment. But here if someone offends me I just block them. It only takes once.

    Perhaps being inconsiderate or rude or offensive might be a more appropriate way to describe it? I can’t see how someone could get “bullied” on here unless they just continued to allow the offending person to contact them.

    • jim markus

      “being inconsiderate or rude or offensive”, even “offensive” is relative and that is considered bulling by the thin skinned perpetually offended these days.

  10. Freud

    Can we get more ridiculous? Online bullying is over the top. It’s freaking virtual! The people don’t exist unless someone wants a flame war. Get over it; just don’t respond. How difficult is that? Instead of being the class tattle tale, man the f**k up and ignore messages. This whole bullying thing plays to neurotics that have issues with reality. Running to teacher just feeds the whole arrested development syndrome. People need to grow up

  11. Josh

    In all due respect, I find this issue somewhat of a “Joke”. Why? Because its’ factual information/history, that Gays have been and can be some the most vicious human beings on the planet! LMAO:) And even Gays laugh among themselves “jokingly” about it all being true! In conclusion…..”Gays Do No Bully!” lol:):):)

  12. Eric Renard

    I find this article to be hypocritical, disingenuous, and personally insulting and offensive. Twice this year, I have very clearly been referred to as a nigger, have reported both users, and both of those accounts remained active. On each occasion I reported the vile epithet and followed-up twice on each report. I received no replies to any of the four e-mails. I even asked which epithets comported with A4A standards; I received no reply to those inquiries either. The only communication I received was the general acknowledgement that’s automatically generated when “Report This User” is clicked. I may be biased and impartial here, but little approaches the abysmal depths of bullying than the hurling of racial, ethnic, religious, sexuality, or gender epithets. That sort of base behavior should never be abided on any level, regardless of the ugliness oozing out of Washington on a daily basis. We have to be much better than that. As self-respecting gay and bisexual men, we should hold ourselves to a much higher standard than what I’ve experienced here this year.

    • Jack Torse

      Eric
      Youve found, as I have, that a4a is pretty much all lip-service, feigning interest yet doing nothing to curtail offensive behavior.
      At least there is a “Block” option.
      And really, that’s all one needs.
      And regardless of one’s political bias, sex, lifestyle, etc no organziation, agency or government will really have an interest in you as an individual. The policies may look good on paper but really are in place to cover their own ass.
      We need to look out for each other but are responsible for protecting ourselves.

    • Josh

      Eric, My personal opinion to you is the following. Whenever someone uses the “N” word to you in the year 2019, they are mentally residing on a parallel universe! lol:) Eric, there is really no reason for you even to report such an entity, because in this day and age, one should just laugh and think to themselves…….. “Wow! THIS entity must definitely have permitted age to affect their thinking, causing them to have such limited thinking?” Eric, anytime that I have encountered two kids or several, walking by me on the streets, and they were primarily ALL of different races and they were hugging and showing so much love for one another as they referred to each other as, NIGGAS…..I could not refrain from laughing to myself privately and thinking, “My God! We human beings have come so very far and it all shows via The Children of The New Millennium!” Eric, chill out and don’t sweat it……Keep moving forward into THE LIGHT, all is well:)

  13. Clockmytrain2

    I’ve been a member of a4a for over 15 years now. I’ve read all kinds of profiles and some are amusing and some are not. Take mine for instance, I’m not sexually attracted to young guys period. Does that make me a bully against young people? “Me thinks not”. That’s my prerogative and I will not change my disposition about that. Now……if that’s a problem for being a member on a4a, then maybe I should just delete my account and never be a member again.

  14. dale

    Freedom of speech allows you to be in business that’s worth remembering, that and there was a time when being gay was against the law, it didn’t change due to bullying.


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