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Speak Out: Are Religion and Sexuality Mutually Exclusive?

I’ve read this question today twice online on separate sites albeit phrased differently: Can you be gay and religious at the same time? Do you “go to church even if some religions condemn homosexuality?” Why or why not?

Some said yes, others said no, but there are also quite a few who said they’re atheists and couldn’t care less while another one said no, he doesn’t go to church because “religion is a little silly.”

One of those who said we can have both—that religion/spirituality and sexuality aren’t mutually exclusive at all—argued that “God is love and we are created in that loving image.” He added that God’s one true command is for us to “love one another.” Another pointed out that, “Religion isn’t homophobic. People are.” On the other hand, those who said no, they don’t go to church anymore; reasoned that it’s because “people from church were nasty to me” and “some people can come off as resentful towards the LGBT community, along with the hypocrisy.” Other sentiments I’ve read include, “some of their beliefs are hurtful” and that “God isn’t real.”

Personally, I think “hurtful” is an understatement. If you’ve watched the film Boy Erased (2018, Joel Edgerton), some people use religion as an excuse to send off their kids to receive conversion therapy from a religious or spiritual advisor just like the main character in the movie (who happens to be a pastor’s kid, by the way). They call it conversion therapy but it’s cult-like, really. If you haven’t watched the movie yet, you really should.

Speaking of pastor’s kids, last week, an American Idol contestant named Jeremiah Lloyd Harmon auditioned with an original song titled “Almost Heaven.” Harmon—who is gay, a church janitor, and a pastor’s kid (PK)—said that the song is about “questioning if there’s a place for me and I guess people like me in heaven.”

Yet, on one hand, there are pastors like this guy who promises in this touching letter that if he has gay children, that he’ll love them.

Anyway, what do you think guys? Religion and sexuality, can we have both? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.


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  1. Martin X

    Of course you can be religious and gay at the same time (because people demonstrate that), but it’s intellectually dishonest. Why should you believe anything that a religion has to say when you think they’re wrong to condemn homosexuals?

    • Rick

      On point. I had this discussion with a religious person using the Bible saying it’s gods words. The Bible was written by man. (Correct but inspired by god, she replied). How do you know this? (Because it says so in the Bible, she replied) ……see where this goes.

      • isoltrjock

        The Bible is the only self-authenticating book ever written. It contains about 1,500 detailed prophecies, about 1,000 of which have been fulfilled inerrantly. Inerrantly fulfilled prophecies prove that the Bible was inspired by God. The remaining prophecies are being or will be fulfilled. A few examples: The Bible predicted the miraculous re-birth of Israel as a nation in 1948. The Bible predicted that after the Jews returned to their homeland, it would blossom. Mark Twain visited Israel around 1867 and described it as “desolate…devoid of vegetation and human population.” The Jews made the desert bloom. Israel is a world-class leader in agricultural innovation. The Bible predicted that Russia, Iran, and Turkey would form an alliance. Just twenty years ago this was considered unthinkable. Today Russia, Iran, and Turkey are cooperating in Syria. Today’s headlines are yesterday’s Bible prophecies (hat tip: Hal Lindsey).

        • Robert Watkins

          I am the church. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. I love others like God loves me…Unconditionally. I live and operate in unconditional love every moment of the day because I love myself unconditionally. I am the church!

    • Rick

      doesn’t that depend on which “religion” you are referring to – since they are NOT “all the same” in their “rules & regulations” ??? Regardless, anyone ahs the “right to choose” what’s right for them – gay or not. There is no-thing that fits every single a’genda on this God forsaken planet. So gay or otherwise, white or otherwise, Native Amer or otherwise, nude or clothed – every person can choose whatever is ‘right for them’ and not by the opinion or perception of anyone else

    • Woodie Smith

      Acceptance of sexuality obviously depends on the “religion.” As a God lover myself, I regard even atheism as a religion, possibly a wholesome step up from the more bigoted flavors of “God-fearers.” We all exist because of God’s infinite and unconditional love, which by definition means God could hardly care less if we “believe” in God. A relationship with Divine Spirit brings many benefits, but that has to be a matter of personal discovery. This is threatening to many so-called religions of sheeple abdicating personal responsibility in favor of being told how to live.

  2. Nathan

    Religion isn’t from God; it is from Man.

    Man created the concept of God to explain what his five senses and intellect could not. Religion, regardless, of beliefs or practice is a Myth…not unlike the Greek, Roman or Egyptian. There is not God, as such; there is only Man and Man is hos own Creator and Deliver.

    Read the duplicity within the Bible: only Man could write of the destruction of humanity via The Great Flood, and create the concept of The Rainbow, that the Rainbow is God’s Promise never to destroy Mankind via another flood; read the Book of Revelations…God promises to destroy Mankind via fire!

    Only Man could and does conceive his own creation and his own destruction: they are the totalities of ignorance and ego…they are “Oxymorons.”

    Only Man can be duplicitous…not Nature! War is Man’s creation of “Hell Upon The Earth”; And, War is the greatest Drama and the Battlefields are the greatest stages; it all about productions and drama…artifacts need to keep Man amused and not boredom…as boredom forces man to create otherwise new devices to occupy his time.

  3. R. Roderick Rowe

    Sexuality and Spirituality are NOT mutually exclusive. Most mainstream ‘religions’ though, are definitely exclusive of any sexuality. Mostly because ‘religion’ seeks to control people and the most powerful force driving the majority of Humankind is sex. “Religion” can’t abide that!

  4. John Ebron

    This is a very interesting article. My personal opinion as a person of faith and an openly gay black man is that we definitely can have religion, spirituality, and sexuality as members of the LGBTQ community. I don’t have an answer on religious celebration, and I do not attend church regularly myself… but we can’t give up the fight. I am acutely aware how important spiritual formation is to all people. We have assist on our right to have access to a loving religious experience.

    • Brent Majors

      I agree, and feel likewise. I formerly was in church every time the doors were open. Don’t attend anymore, not because GOD rejects me, but people do. I stay away, in order not to upset them and their “holier than thou” attitude. I worship GOD alone, and with a few like minded gay friends–follow no script, any time, and any place the Spirit moves–and that’s often. I like to imagine GOD smiling on friends and my frequent, impromtu praise and worship year round, pleasing The ALMIGHTY more than an hour once per week. (and after announcements, preachers’ humor, “prayers” which are too often gossip with a “let’spray about this” tacked on after the torrid details; very little of this “hour” is actually directed toward GOD–it’s 90% to the club members meeting there. Yes, sadly, many–(not all, some are sincere)–religions are merely social clubs. These clubs have firmly established criteria for membership, and welcome no exceptions. GOD welcomes all!

      • Mountaindawg

        Brent, I am currently a non attending United Church of Christ Member, not to be confused with Church of Church. I am non-attending for reasons not associated with. LGBT. If you decide you want to give church again the UCC might be for you. http://www.ucc.org/lgbt I offer this just as a resource.

    • Rick

      Spirituality and RELIGION are two of the most different issues in anyone’s life – No one has to be “religious” to be spiritually gifted, and I take a wild guess to say that ANYONE spiritual most certainly might choose NOT to be religious, not because of ‘dismissing’ a persons choice, but knowing “Spiritual Gifts” far out-weigh “religion”

  5. KEM

    I guess we can be gay and religious. Personally I believe in a “higher power” because I do not believe everything “just happened by chance” but I do not believe in organized religion.

  6. Jeffrey

    If you believe the bible a sin is a sin. Not one is worse than the other. The bible also tells us of love and forgiveness.
    Man(the human race) would like you to think that sexuality meaning same sex relations is wrong.
    God did create Adam and Eve but he also created the feeling we have.
    With all the hate in the world today, we should be thankful for love that is shared.

  7. Brent Majors

    The ALMIGHTY is my BEST FRIEND, Perfect in Love, Patience, Kindness, Faithfulness, Generosity and Goodness. GOD accepts me how I am, faults included–HE made me, so I am not ashamed! It is people, who make mere human rules, but claim their rules are “God’s.” Religious people pick and choose certain exclusions (like gays), as Taboos which are outside the power of the Blood Sacrifice of Christ. All religions are mistaken! (1.) GOD created human sexuality, a gift like our other senses to enjoy and give GOD thanks for. (2.) For argument sake, even if homosexuality is sin, the Sacrifice of JESUS CHRIST obliterates completely ALL SIN. Religious experts deny this totality—which GOD, my best FRIEND, assures me is 100% purification, from ALL sin, TOTAL pardon, & TOTAL forgiveness. Two are opposed: (1.) self-proclaimed religious theologians/experts, and (2.) THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY. I believe GOD—not men who are so prone to err!!!!!!!!!
    Many Judeo/Christian religions teach some facts about God which are correct—but not all their teachings are of God—many are merely ethnic traditions; often based on ancient cultural practices important to the ancient customs AT THE TIME PERIOD—not today [slavery is an example of an ancient, accepted social behavior which we today realize is wrong.]
    Each religious denomination claims their particular criteria about God is right, and others are wrong. As I said, and my BEST FRIEND has told me and shown me: The ALMIGHTY is beyond human understanding–no mere man can figure him out. Yet self-appointed religious “experts” claim they have figured HIM out. BULL SHIT! Most people are closed-minded on this subject. I was among them—had adopted my “stand.” NO PERSUASION BY ANY HUMAN COULD MOVE ME.
    GOD HIMSELF PERSONALLY PERSUADED ME TO FAITH IN HIM—not to faith in the religions organized by men. Not to faiths of generations of families or cultures, which children born into simply adopt without question. These majority are content to go along, without question.
    Christopher Columbus took his stand against The Majority who warned him his ships would “fall off the flat earth, when he reached the horizon.” The horizon was as far as they could see—and likewise the termination point where their minds CLOSED. The Majority are often in error!
    Neither do I “know ALL” about GOD. This much I do know: I am gay, GOD sought me; Jesus shed His blood and died for me. BY THIS ALONE, I am pure before GOD, Who loves me.
    My answer to other questions about GOD is simply, “I don’t know;” but I shall behold GOD!

    • Rick

      P.S. Great seafaring icons have gone around the world LONG before the idiot Columbus – if you are using Columbus as an example for anything – it’s clear you have yet to uncover the most critical bits that “human (stupid) History” has put in front of you: jst a very poor choice of ‘example’ if YOU , yourself has “spoken to God” which people often do, whether they are aware or not (and often NOT 🙂

      Also – just FYI – some of the greatest and incredibly ‘gifted’ physicists have proven tremendous ‘gains’ in the existence of “consciousness’ outside of our own physical realm. However incredible works are still “ongoing’ in regard to the search for what’s called the “God Molecule” which can’t be addressed here. However, there is a tremendous and very serious works going on in terms of the God aspect of ALL of us. Love everyone 🙂

      • neueume

        He chose to use Christopher Columbus as an example to exalt the name of our Lord Christ Jesus. I mean the name Christopher begins with Christ. And so having Columbus (Day, a national holiday commemorating the day he arrived) in his comment was a perfect choice. [AUDIENCE CLAPPING] Let’s put Rick on a boat & WATCH him TRY to sail across the Atlantic & see who’s the idiot (probably the guy lending him the boat because we all know he don’t have one). Laugh out loud, I’m just messing with you Rick. Bringing up the God Molecule detail. Something Rick has zero authority to speak on. Makes you sound more like the devil here talking only in disbelief. Try to get laid Rick (I mean this is still for a hookup site) & then maybe read/comment on here afterwards when your in a better mood.
        [-THE END-]

  8. roy delarosa

    I have always gone to church as a small boy when I went with my parents. One Sunday morning the priest stated that ( what you did, or think and believe it is true in your heart, then it is right by God, and you loved by God, cause we are all children of the lord ). So I go to church, not as often now as before, but if you feel it is right in your heart, than keep going, for me it gives me a warm heart to be able to pray and give thanks for all that I have been though, and for all who need a prayer in their lives.

  9. kisserxx

    Of course you can be gay and religious. Sex being “wrong” comes, at least in part, from Augustine, who after he got his “rock off” decided it was sinful.

    It’s not necessarily the religion that says homosexuality is wrong, it’s those that interpret it and feed that interpretation to other people. These days, some religions marry same sex couples.

  10. Nathan

    Gentlemen:

    “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” Chapter 18 verse 22. “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.”

    This where the fire and brimstone began! It is a much maligned quote…always taken out of contest to suite and condemn those who aspire to God…only to aspire themselves.

    This quote was to discourage unnecessary spillage of sperm and not be saved for productive usage. Gay sex is unproductive and was feared by the Ancients as a harbinger of an ‘eventual’ demise of ‘Mankind’.

    It was not a condemnation of the act…unto itself,,,but the eventual ejaculation of sperm onto or into an unreproductive place or entity.

  11. William Brogan

    I am an out gay happy proud partnered man who lives in San Francisco. My partner & I are Lutheran & we believe in God. We go to church regularly. But we also live full lives as gay men that are in a relationship. God bless!

  12. geos

    Religion is the biggest scam in the world, it’s institutionalized ignorance based on superstition, lies, delusions, fairy tales. The question is, “are intelligence and religion mutually exclusive”? The answer is yes.

  13. geos

    Religion is the biggest scam in the world. It’s institutionalized ignorance based on lies, delusions, superstitions, fairy tales and wishful thinking. The question is, “are religion and intelligence mutually exclusive?” The answer is YES.

  14. tom

    The problem for the falsely religious and using the bible against being gay is that premarital and extra marital sex are defined as equivocal sins, all of whom should be stoned to death but the darling catholics and evangelicals cheat on their spouses and have premarital sex so they let those go and focus on gays in typical religious hypocrisy. Then came jesus son of a single mother and one of the first to not be killed in utero, this also kills the religious argument against abortion the baby was to be killed inside the mother and with the father for their sin against god, ever hear bastard demon child ? Yeah that. For the most part the religious are angry frustrated people with unfulfilled lives who want to impose their false beliefs on others. This makes the effort a total gas because under the other arm in its pit is planted the constitution which clearly states church and state are separate. For their final act of hypocrisy they wail against sharia law which is rooted in fundamentalism, the very same first few books of the bible. yeah that.. the koran the bible and the torah all begin the same way. These religious assholes need to go feed the poor and heal the sick instead of shouting to cut off food stamps to starve the poor so they ‘get off their lazy asses’ and to repeal obamacare the ‘religious right’ is executing the will of satan in reality wanting to let the sick die the poor to be hungry the homeless to roam the streets; the exact prescription enumerated explicitly in matthew 25 as the direct route to hell. So when someone shows you antigay sentiment tell the to go to hell where the bible says they belong. Jesus also said: let he who lives without sin cast the first stone. Because these fundamentalist assholes used to go around stoning people to death literally breaking the ten commandments and killing other humans.

  15. Keith

    I respect everyone and their beliefs as long as they keep to themselves. This is the 21 century and people still believe the magic man in the sky. Wow!!!

    • isoltrjock

      Perhaps you would share your superior explanation for where the universe came from, how we are to live, and where we are going?
      Does it go something like this?: “There used to be absolutely nothing. Then, it exploded! Explosions produce crap, but this chance explosion was unsurpassably creative! It produced all the matter, energy, laws, and designs way beyond human ingenuity (including life itself) in the universe!”
      “Nothing created Everything” is, in my opinion, the most unscientific, irrational, superstitious, and destructive myth of all. It makes the Bible look like the most complete, rational, comprehensive, ingenious, and proven belief system known to man, which it is.

  16. Matt

    There definitely is a Liberal-Socialist gay agenda and on that agenda is the intolerance of religion. Religion and sexuality are not mutually exclusive.

  17. Vince

    I LOVE GOD AND HE MOST CERTAINLY LOVES ME. SO MUCH I COULD SAY ON THIS SUBJECT. SO LONG I FELT BOUNDED. BUT AFTER A MARRIAGE, KIDS AND NOW GRANDCHIDREN. IM AT PEACE AND HAPPY WITH ME. ESPECIALLY YELLING TO MY MOM AT 56 IM GAY! FIND YOUR PEACE AND BE AT PEACE.
    AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE WE SHALL PRAISE THE LORD!

  18. Hunter0500

    I’m part of a major US religion that is accepting of LGTBQ+ persons. Its old. It’s Conservative. Whether as members or Pastors, sexuality is not an issue.

  19. Hunter0500

    I’m part of a major US religion that is accepting of LGTBQ+ persons. Its old. It’s Conservative. Whether as members or Pastors, sexuality is not an issue. It’s left up to people and their relationship with God. Just as all other factors of life are.

  20. anonimatovato

    I feel like religion and faith are very personal beliefs and I have issues when they want to force religion into politics. Evangelicals voted for Trump because he’s so call religious. Give me a break!

  21. Tim

    Growing up in the Midwest in the 50’s-70’s, church was part of the social fabric of the small, rural community. Many partook. Many didn’t. My family did. As I grew and tried to form myself within this community I knew I was of it, but not. No one ever told me I couldn’t do or be what I wanted. I also participated in a lot of activities (church, school, sports, music) to journey through all this growing up. I left the town I grew up in when I graduated from high school. I regularly return to visit family and friends, friends from the church that welcome me, know of my life, yet never question or object to how I live my life. To me that is being a Christian. Religion is a tool. Like with a hammer and saw you can create beautiful things, you can also use them as tools of destruction and hate. It’s up to us as God’s ‘creatures’ to do what is right and good. Love and acceptance of the diversity of ‘all life’ on this planet, and to protect, care and most of all love all that comes to us, feeding us, spiritually, mentally, and sexually is what life is. It only comes round once, enjoy it. I guess that’s a religeon. I guess I’m religious. I guess I’m going to church every day. Aren’t you?

  22. R Smith

    It’s a bad question. Most branches of Abrahamic religions want to posit that homosexuality is wrong. Within other branches, it was/is a part of the community and accepted. Get away from Abrahamic religions, and you’ll find a huge diversity in thought. Is spirituality all about Christianity, Judaism, and Islam? No.

    Exercising sexuality has often been the criticism across the world, as well as monogamy vs polygamy vs polyamory. Relationships are tough.

    Praying and meditation and even yoga are all manifestations of spirituality. Where the world gets into trouble is orthodoxy– strong strict rules, the result of power and control needs. Follow orthodoxy, and find control over so many things that aren’t the crux of the basics, like the intentions of the Ten Commandments.

    Communities work. In the USA, I find the UU gatherings to embrace reality, and reality has as a component, LGBTQ+ people in their glorious combinations. It’s not a religion, but embraces spirituality in its many origins. I find their philosophy honest and open and capable of growing… growing both their constituents and others, too.

    My own background is one of those well-intentioned Abrahamic religious, dominant especially in Europe. They taught me great lessons, but also clearly have control issues. They have great difficulty thinking out side of their historical box, although they try in some areas, fail miserably in others. Their rejection of my homosexuality no longer hurts me. I know my own reality. I don’t believe in their concept of the afterlife, and am not motivated to follow their orthodoxy.

    If there was advice I could render, it would be to find those that would accept you and invite you to participate in their community regardless of your queerness. I know of homos in my old religious community that are still there, fighting the windmills of that community’s orthodoxy. They believe they will win, but they won’t. So long as orthodoxy has the greed and insecurity of need for control, they’ll fail those that don’t meet their tests.

  23. michael todd belasco

    God sees hearts not body parts, we are neither male nor female. Jew or Greek in his sight ,we are only lights In his eyes ,that light is what you take with you when you passed from this earth.
    God knew what he was getting when he chose me
    IAM one w God

  24. J. J.

    I wonder how the question posed digressed from Religion and sexuality,
    …. and descended to “Can we be gay and spritual?”

    I submit the answer is “yes” .

  25. MATTHEW

    In my research, it is possible to be religious and homosexual at the same time. However, depending on the religion and the person there may or may not be a contradiction involved.

    There are religions that have no problem with homosexuality and do not condemn it at all. If you adhere to one of these theologies then there is no issue. However if you adhere to a religion that does condemn homosexuality, then you may have an internal conflict between what you believe and who you are. This can for some, create a self-hate or loathing which is bad for your psyche and may eventually lead you to live a straight life (although probably unhappily but due to pressure you may conform) or you may abandon the faith altogether. However, it amazes me that many gay Christians find an issue with being both gay and Christian, don’t have any issue at all with other contradictions between Biblical teachings and modern society. So I don’t understand why things like women teaching men in church which is forbidden in the New Testament (1 Tim 11-12) is completely accepted by most modern Christians and does not cause a spiritual conflict when it occurs, even though it is expressly forbidden by the New Testament, but something like homosexuality (a subject the New Testament is completely silent on) causes such turmoil, especially when the passages that allegedly prohibit homosexuality are found in the Old Testament and there for part of the Mosaic Covenant, which according to Christian theology, was supposed to be abolished and replaced by the New Covenant brought in the New Testament and done away with by the alleged Crucifixion of Jesus.

    Other religions such as Islam for instance, are a little different. In the Qur’an, the story of Lut (Lot) is considered by most to prohibit homosexuality. Yet the Qur’an does not provide a punishment for this offense. This has led the four Sunni mathhabs (schools of Islamic Jurisprudence) to derive a punishment based off other punishments that are expressly stated in the Qur’an. As a result, one mathab equates homosexuality with fornication and thus the maximum punishment is 40 lashes. Other mathhabs equate it with adultery and thus death is the maximum punishment. Muslims claim the Qur-an is a perfect book and that Allah and his Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) delivered a complete message. They also claim that each mathhab is correct and internally consistent. Yet how can justice be correctly and honestly served if a person can keep his life and go on living under one mathab and be put to death under another (which would be wrongfully taking the life of another Muslim without just cause which is expressly forbidden in Islam)? After all, the only way a Muslim can Islamically kill another Muslim is if Allah or his Prophet (pbuh) has prescribed it, otherwise killing a Muslim is itself a capital offense. If one methab prescribes 40 lashes and another death for the same offense, then it is obvious that Allah and his Prophet (pbuh) did not prescribe a punishment and death is not the correct choice. Looking into it further, the proscription of death for “what the people of Lut did” found in the ahadith (collection of the sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad as reported by his companions) actually relate to an incident involved a band of raiders who would raid caravan parties at night, slaughter the people and steal their possessions. The incident had nothing to do with homosexuality at all but these people were described as being like the people of Lut because the people of Lut also did these things. (The actual list of what the inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah did is quite extensive in both the Bible, Jewish commentary on the Tanakh, and the Ahadith.)

    As a result of this, some Muslims, albeit a minority for most of the 20th and so far all of the 21st centuries, claim that homosexuality is NOT prohibited by Islam at all, and an examination of the Ahadith proves that apart from the hadith explained above, has no prohibition or punishment for homosexuality and the Qur’an itself provides no punishment either (also a fact), although whether or not homosexuality is forbidden can be debated in the story of Lut as it is contained in the Qur’an which i’m not going to get into because it delves into the meaning of the arabic words and grammar involved in the passage which is beyond my level of learning.

    As for avoiding a religious community or place of worship on account of the actions and feelings of other adherents, that is a separate matter and has nothing to do with the spiritual teachings itself, but rather the prejudices and attitudes of the members involved. For instance, in a Christian gathering, a faith whose theology teaches that no sin is greater than another, and that all humans sin, and that anyone who professes faith in the alleged Resurrection of Jesus Christ and has been baptised is saved and washed clean of sin in the blood of their Savior Jesus Christ, should not have any concern or hard feelings towards ANYONE no matter WHAT they do because they are all on equal footing and a child who doesn’t eat their peas when their mom tells them do is just as big a sinner as a person who rapes and tortures children before killing them and eating their bodies for their own amusement. There is no difference between those two as they are both sinners and there is no sin greater than another. Thus, assuming homosexuality is a sin in Christianity, then a true Christian’s attitude towards a homosexual should be no different than it is to a child who disobeys their parents or a serial killer — if they are true Christians anyway. Besides in all those cases, as long as the person confesses faith in Jesus Christ and is baptised, they are forgiven of all their sins no matter how heinous they may be so there i no theological reason for a christian to harbor ill will towards such a person.

  26. Ama

    I mean, there’s nothing physically stopping anyone from believing in a higher power.

    However, as a gay man of science and medicine, it’s a bit silly to believe in it. Man always has a need for answers and religion just fills the gap when we don’t have answers.

    Furthermore, it’s a bit silly to be a Gay man and believe in a Abrahamic God that , by the book, considers your lifestyle a sin. You can perform all the mental gymnastics you want but you cannot change the meaning of a rather straightforward sentence. Cherry picking makes you no better than the hypocrites who cherry pick out of their religious texts to justify their own actions.

  27. Jack Fox

    In the time of Moses, all civilizations endorsed homosexuality, no one had a problem with it. However, when the Hebrews left Egypt and started to wonder around the desert, they believed that they were the chosen of God, and as such had to be different. Plus during this time, Moses was trying to build an army to defeat the people that were in the land across the Jordan River which God had given to the Hebrews. If the law allowed men to lay with men and women to lay with woman, there would be a lack of children and thereby a lot less Hebrews, for the army. Plus they held themselves up above all other peoples as being the children of God, and therefore were different, and because of that they have many different laws that no one else has. In the law Moses allowed for men to divorce their wives. But in the New Testament Jesus said that was not the plan of the Father, and that men and woman should be together until separated by death. In the book of Matthew, Jesus says there three kinds of men who should not look to marriage, those who are born now wanting a woman, those were are casterated by men, and therefore no longer want a woman, and those who have given up on sex for the glory of god (preachers). That should answer the question of homosexuality, and if the preachers would read their Bibles and go by what it says, they would have no problem with gay people.

  28. Dar

    Religions that condemn are judging you… judging everyone. Should you not be accepted for who and what you are…for your hungers and needs. Did you choose your path or were you born as you were with your hungers and needs? Satan says… feed your hungers and needs. Accept your lust, accept your physical desires and wants. Christians love to judge, to put you in a box to keep you controlled and manipulate you. Satan says “Do As Thy Want”… He will never judge you because HE believes that we are all gods… all the masters of our own destiny. The name Lucifer means “bringer of light”. If you seek the truth and not to be judged, if you want to be accepted and live your life in freedom… then join HIM.

  29. paul wood

    True religions calls man to get better to conform to the divine..gays need to do that in their own way..and that is for sure..we all do. Forget what other people say..focus on what God says. We need Him

  30. Rick

    Doesn’t that depend on which “religion” you are referring to – since they are NOT “all the same” in their “rules & regulations” ??? Nor is “religion” and Spiritual-ness even remotely the same: true spirituality is a Gift, religion is simply culturally ‘adapted to people everywhere.
    Regardless, anyone has the “right to choose” what’s right for them – gay or not. There is no-thing that fits every single a’genda on this God forsaken planet. So gay or otherwise, white or otherwise, Native Amer or otherwise, nude or clothed – every person can choose whatever is ‘right for them’ and not by the opinion or perception of anyone else, for any reason. Live what your heart tells you to LIVE . . . . and Live Well

  31. Rand Lee

    As a former convert to Fundamentalist Protestantism, I can say that I entered the Faith because my father had just died, I felt traumatized, my only experiences with gay men up to that time has been largely very negative, and I didn’t want to have any sexuality at all. So I turned to the Faith in hopes of finding a strong, protective, paternalistic community which would accept me and care for me. I was willing to give up my sexuality to get that.

    Of course it didn’t work out the way I had hoped. I met a lot of nice people in the church who were very kind to me, but a number of the men there were suspicious of me, and I ended up leaving the church because of it.

    The saddest part of all this is that one of the men who was nicest to me (and I don’t mean sexually) was our pastor, a highly educated man from Austria. Many years after I left the church, I found out that he had been a closeted gay man, and had ended up committing suicide because he could not bear the conflict between his religion and his sexual identity.

    Since those experiments with religion, I have developed a spiritual life of a kind without religious content as such. I’ve had a couple of mystical experiences, quite unexpected, and each of them has left a strong positive mark on my life. But none of them had any religious figures in them—no angels, no Jesus, nothing like the movies might portray. Just a sure, strong sense that I was loved, and that no matter what happened to my body here on Earth, ultimately the real me, the core me, would be safe. And my homosexuality, like my hair color and my height and my talent for alphabetizing spice racks, was just one of many aspects of myself.

  32. Lenward

    I went to visit my brother who lives in another state. On Sunday, he, his husband, and I went to a mainline denominational church. Nearly the entire congregation were members of the LGBTQ community. It was obvious that they had found acceptance in the church and didn’t in no way found sexuality and spirituality to be in conflict.

  33. Ron Buford

    There are Christian denominations that have moved beyond mere acceptance to affirmation of all people, no matter who they love or who they are on Life’s journey. We in the UCC have done so since 1972 when we ordained the first openly gay non-celibate man to a mainline church in Christendom, William R. Johnson. Though in the minority, we are not the only ones. We’ve just been poor about getting out our message of God’s unconditional love. And it’s hard to hear it over all the messages of hate from some religious groups.
    CHECK OUT our UCC ad that even the networks banned saying it was to ahead of its time 2005. http://vimeo.com/10409854 Also check out Betty Butterfield’s spoof of our ad. You gotta laugh! 🙂 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RzW1Tm5tDxQ&autoplay=1

  34. Kevan Vance

    Does any of this make any sense? What is the argument? We are alive, breathe and move, so each of us decides the right and wrong as it suits us – only human nature, unique to our minds, casts shadows positive and negative. In this short space, express yourself, interact, be free without harm to anyone. SIMPLE!!!

  35. Warren Hodgkiss

    Paul – a Jew by tradition and conditioning – speaks against homosexuality. One – possibly two of the Old Testament (Jewish) books proscribes it. NOWHERE in the gospels does Christ speak on it at all! There are a lot of professed Christians who would do well to do an in-depth study of Christ’s teachings, who haven’t, and who proclaim themselves experts on what is, and is not proscribed by Christ. It strikes me that the Jewish proscription against homosexuality reflects the cultural bias of the day – nothing more or less than that. It is unfortunate that it has been interjected into what some regard as Christianity but which, in its judgmentalism, itself an abomination anathema to Christ’s teaching. In a nation that stands more and more for divisive rhetoric against one sub-group or another based on race, religion, nationality…etc. and ad infinitum, small wonder that the “haters” have latched onto this issue as just one more means by which to divide and purvey hatred. My advice – offer yourself to God, whatever you conceive him to be, as an instrument of his will and let the “haters” have their opinions…they will anyway, and they really aren’t worth the trouble it takes to argue with them; you can’t graft a new idea onto a closed mind, so why waste energy trying?

    • isoltrjock

      You may be right about “haters,” but I’ve been inclined to debate homosexuality with Christians/conservatives, civilly stating my points on sites like American Thinker. (1) Many Christians do not realize that the words “homosexual” and “homosexuality” were not invented until the late 1800’s. The Bible was largely completed by 100 A.D. The idea that the Bible could not be properly translated until new English words were invented in the late 1800’s taxes credulity. The idea that words invented in the late 1800’s even belong in a translation of the Bible is questionable. (2) Adding to the confusion is the fact that the words “homosexual” and “homosexuality” have two distinct meanings. They can refer to either same-gender sexual attraction, or they can mean same-gender sexual activity.
      Having the feelings/attraction, but not acting on them/it, is not sinful in any sane Christian denomination. (3) Unfortunately, many Christians also believe that same-gender attraction is a choice. If this were true, it could have serious ramifications. Whatever isn’t voluntary, however, can hardly be a sin. I don’t know of any gay man who claims that on a certain date and time he decided to be sexually attracted to men rather than to women. Many influential conservatives (e.g., Mark Levin, Michael Savage) now state unequivocally that they don’t care what people do with their genitalia as long as it is consensual.

  36. isoltrjock

    Yes, I attend a Catholic church. I believe that accepting Jesus Christ as Lord, Savior, and Redeemer is the most important decision in life. I believe that the Bible is the only self-authenticating book ever written. I believe that God created us as sexual beings, that same-gender attraction is not a choice, and that it is irrational to demand or expect that a gay man not have a sex life. I think that anything-goes sex, I.e., meaningless sex, sex with strangers, orgies, etc. is offensive to God whether it is done by heterosexuals or by homosexuals. I think that an unmarried heterosexual couple who has unprotected sex, brings a new life into the world, and then murders that life (abortion), is far more offensive to God than anything two gay men do sexually. I think that much of what gay men do together is like glorified masturbation and the Bible is very easy on masturbation. I think that “Nothing created Everything,” the core belief of atheism, is, well, egregiously irrational. It’s a proven fact that atheists, although notoriously conceited, commit suicide at a rate far greater than believers in Bible-based religions. Have men done evil things in the name of religion? Sure. Have atheists done much, much greater evil? Yes, like over 100 million people murdered in the 20th Century alone.

  37. Matt (Black)

    I was born and raised in church. My friends/family goes to church and pretend to be very religious. As a boy I was taught early that you must be a saved/ born again Christian to go to heaven. Saved meaning accepting Christ as your personal Saviour. Otherwise you are going to burn forever in hell no matter what. Being taught that as youngster, I watched my people cry, pray and serve the Lord with all their heart in public and in church. Behind closed doors, I watched them do everything under the sun. They are argruing, lying, mean, angry, jealous-minded, cussing, cigarette smoking, gambling, back-stabbing, sex crazed, two-faced, aggressive, poor examples of human beings. I watch them act like dam fools in church hands raised, eye closed, crying, talking out of tongue, jumping, singing, dancing going completely bonkers. The women be wearing revealing low cut blouses and tight dresses to entice other men in the church. Men fucking everything in church, preachers fucking during off hours in their church offices, Heads of church like deacons and preachers going out of town to convocations and fucking other church leaders from other churches. I seen the videos. These trips are paid for by members of the church. It’s a organized mess. In saying all that, I go to church every Sunday, sometimes twice on Sundays. I’m very active as a trustee, President of the Methodist men, finance committee and Sunday school Superintendent. My thing is that I look at sexuality and religion separately. I look at sex as a personal individual thing and religion as giving back to Christ for all his many blessings. I pray regularly for everybody and look at religion as love. I growed up learning that we should honor our father and mother, love thy neighbors, take care of young ones who can’t take care of themselves, not lie, murder, self murder, cheat and steal. Those were/are the major prerequisites that I live by….In closing, individually I draw no parallel between sex and religion. Who I sleep with in private in my bedroom have nothing to do with my religious beliefs.

  38. andy19806

    The problem comes in confusing the two (religion & spirituality). Sexuality may be incompatible with the former but not the latter. Religions are constructs by man and are often corrupted by those who are in power within the religion to match their goals. Perhaps at one time it was useful for religion to encourage procreation but those days are long gone. Pete Buttigieg, mayor of South Bend and democratic candidate for President, has spoken beautifully on this subject of religion & spirituality.

  39. Anousim2

    You can be gay and spiritual but not religious if you are bhuddist Hindu taoist confusionist wiccan or animist but Catholic. Jewish or Muslim or protestant and you are in trouble you cant be religious

  40. Marko

    While far from being an expert on the bible, rather I’m right or wrong, I far prefer to believe what I think it means then what I’ve been told it means.
    Fortunately, I was “blessed” to have been born into and raised in a blended religion family. So while Dad was a faithful first Southern Baptist, who according to them, God was to be feared, and along with all of the yelling and the screaming, was a weird peace within the constant promise of fire and brimstone in the knowledge that if you simply thought impure thoughts God would stike you dead with lightning.
    And just as each coin has two sides, Mom on the other hand was a uber liberal Presbyterian who would have forgiven Charles Manson if he’d just repented, reached out and sincerely asked for Gods forgiveness. The end result of this conflicting and often convoluted upbringing made me solidly theologically confused from as far back as I can recall.
    I’ll draw from the Sixth chapter of Matthew in verses 5-8 of the King James Version, (I’ll interrupt and condense) we learn that it’s wrong to publicly wear your religion on your sleeve, we learn that those who boast of their faith or pray in public are “hypocrites” while those that pray in private (ironically “in the closet”) are rewarded openly. We further learn to just to be honest and talk to God as we would with a friend without vain repetitions, for he already knows what we need, what we ask and what we seek.
    So armed with such a simplistic understanding of the parameters of my relationship with God, why the hell would I want to subject myself to the gravitational force of a bunch of stuck up stuffed shirt judgemental assholes telling me what to think and how to pray?
    What does God really want from us? Hell if I know, but I’d like to think God wants me to be better person today then I was yesterday, and occasionally I even make progress towards that difficult goal. God has bestowed upon me, free will which allows me the ability to think and act as I choose. Sadly I don’t really know if God will be horribly displeased that I’ve eaten from the forbidden fruit of sexuality, but I’ve told my whole life that God loves and accepts me no matter what.
    And until we meet face to face I’ll continue to talk to God in prayer as I would talk to a good friend, I’ll strive to be a better person with each passing day and I’ll try to leave the earth a far better place then I found it. And I’ll continue to do this rather others agree or disagree with me, because in my mind it’s hard enough to truly please yourself without worrying about pleasing anyone else.

  41. buz

    “Man created God in his image”, not that “God created man in God’s image”. The Bible written by man. The 10 Commandments written by man. According to Bible stories God came and talked directly to several people and then those people passed on the words (man created those words). The Bible is full of many stories that were pertinent to the times, like a magazine. You can be religious inspite of any religious teaching. They are just man’s interpretations. Make religion work for you in your life, you don’t have to live by their words. If you choose to go to church, take from it what you need. You can worship anywhere, it does not have to be a particular building (made by man). Enjoy and rejoice in your spirituality and if you choose not to participate then it is your choice not to. Don’t blame religion or a congregation for it’s belief. Spirituality is a very personal thing, take from it what you can use.

  42. Fireguy69

    I personally think that you can have both one is having or establishing a personal relationship with your heavenly father. While being gay and liking what you like. He made us in his own image. If we were all the same and like the same you would have to say that would be pretty boring.

  43. Ben

    Most definitely! Can a heterosexual who has had sex before marriage be religious even though that’s adultery? Hope so or churches will be pretty empty. That being said there is that matter of finding the right religion or (in the case of Christianity) faith. Steer clear of the fundamentalists unless you have a sado thing against your self esteem. Above all else, remember; it’s ultimately between you and God. There will always be someone who will tell you you have got it wrong. My rule is unless they can turn water into wine and get me really drunk, what anyone else claims God thinks/says is no more qualified than I am to say.

  44. JRM

    Yes, on being gay and religious! I feel it is between your God and you on your sexual preference. I’m gay and know that the God I’ve always known loves me for who I am.
    We are all sinners in differing ways, saved by His grace!
    Being a member of the United Methodist Church, and all that has happened recently within, I choose to back away from attending like I used to, but worship Him daily in my walk with Him.

  45. Larryn

    Some of the horniest people can be met in church.

    Being religious doesn’t mean that your urge for sexual experiences goes away.

    Sometimes it is enhanced due to the taboo nature of it from the standpoint of a religious setting.

    Then there are also some churches and religious leaders that are accepting that sex is natural and normal in the lives of many church members, even homosexual experiences and they are ok, and accepting of that.

  46. Epameinondas

    I’m more or less with Nathan. In answer to the title question, it depends on the religion. If your sexuality and your religious spirit are in conflict, perhaps it’s your religion that should be reconsidered.

    Let me confess that I am a neopagan – of the Greek, not Norse, tradition. And I am not alone: we have online groups like Hellenion, and real in-the-flesh practicing communities in larger cities like here in Phoenix. And most of us neopagans of any stripe see sexuality as natural and divine and part of the wholeness of living spirit.

    Now, I did not dream this up from whole cloth. I was reared in average protestant home, and I have been through church school and know the whole litany. But something in me was acutely aware of the inherent contradictions in so much of it, and its variance with things like science and physics and biology.

    Fortunately our home also had classics on the shelf: Homer, Plato, Aristotle and more, so I read and studied on my own from a young age for that other perspective. In adulthood I made my own choice, my moral decision: I prefer my morality to be logical, rather than obedience to someone else’s idea of holy dictates, and to call my spirituality playful Mythology rather that Absolute Truth. Besides, why settle for One god when you can have twelve? And half of ours are women, and they all enjoy wine and sex!

    I’m happy to be a satyr, not a saint. And you know what? I’m still a fairly virtuous man.

    Consider.

  47. Epameinondas

    I’m with Nathan: If your religion is in conflict with you sexuality, perhaps it’s you religion that should be reconsidered.

    I grew up in a protestant home, but we had Greek classics on the shelf as well, and I studied those on my own. I have been through church school and know that whole litany and all its scientific and moral internal inconsistencies and outright logical conflicts. In the end, in adulthood I chose the neopagan (Greek, not norse) path.

    And I am not alone. There are groups of us neopagans on line, and in larger cities like mine groups that actually meet to practice in person. We do not have the hubris of calling our beliefs Absolute Truth; we acknowledge that it is, indeed, Mythology – without apology.

    (Besides, why settle for one god when you can have twelve? and half of ours are women, and they all enjoy wine and sex!)

    And guess what? I still turned out to be a fairly virtuous man.

    Consider, if you will…

  48. Lamar

    I not so sure, “religion” often enough creates virtue. I think more often, a “Spiritual” awareness and aspiration for the betterment of your Spiritual being, is definitely in order, though.

    I can’t for the life of me, imagine, why, in this day and time, does one feel just because they’re gay, they cannot obtain or have a spiritual/religious life!

    It’s about ‘you’ and God/Creator/Universe, ‘not’ everyone or anyone else, these realms or belief’s/practices. Don’t give-up the freedom to empower yourself to anyone, period.

  49. Carl

    I’m 66 years old and I recently moved back to my hometown to retire and hoped attitudes had changed in the 40+ years that I have been away.
    Recently I was outed (by myself actually) after getting a belly full of so-called “Southern Baptist” Preachers who like to call out everything from smoking to adultery and gluttony as a sin.
    Of course I apparently am committing the “Abomination” because I am gay. Although I have been completely “in the closet” since moving back home and have caused NO ONE any problems until I decided I was not going to be harassed and humiliated anymore by the church and it’s “judgements”.
    I thought church and “GOD” was about “LOVE”, not continuously harassing everyone about that they “do wrong”……….”He that is without SIN”………
    So consequently I’m still pretty much in the closet, but stay to myself and pray to God a lot, trying to understand “where I fit in”……..I guess I never will.
    Meanwhile the “Do-gooders” keep living their life under the guise of being “CHRISTIAN”…and I’m left to find my own way with God.
    …..Only God knows our hearts for sure…….
    Thanks

  50. Joseph Compnotta

    To be able to speak to God is great and it can be done ANYwhere, I prefer the great outdoors myself. But you don’t have to go to a manmade building w/all its hype to be religious and do the right thing.


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