(Photo Credits: alvarog1970 from Shutterstock)
Hey, guys! Would you date a bisexual guy, or is that off the table for you? Why or why not? Is your answer based on experience, perception, or something you’ve heard from other gay men over time? For readers who have dated bi guys before or are dating one right now, what is your experience dating them? Have you ever felt like you weren’t being taken seriously by them, or like you were just a phase? And if you’ve had a good experience, what made the relationship work?
Anyway, we are asking because a gay man online asked, “Gay guys who have been burned by Bi guys and won’t date them, what’s your reasoning?” He added:
First of all, I will say that if anyone has found a good relationship with a bi guy, good for them. This sub is filled with horror stories of bi guys leaving gay men for women, as a result of which, a lot of gay men prefer dating gay men only.
My reason: I personally have only had online interactions with at least five bi guys, but they have been awful. There’s a pattern of not wanting relationships with men seriously and trying to “do the normal thing” after using a gay guy (sometimes after long times). I personally prefer dating gay men only, as it makes the relationship really equal; we both can only be attracted to what we have.
So, gay guys, I’m curious what was your reasoning? And for bi guys who prefer men, how has your experience been with dating (if momentarily) men?
For some gay men, their hesitation to date a bisexual man comes from their bad personal experience, just like this guy, who shared, “My ex-boyfriend cheated on me with a girl. He told her she has nice tits and pretty lips to put his dick on. I broke it off with him. I don’t use that as a complete measure for dealing with bi men, but it is a possibility that I keep in mind.” He added, “Oh, and another bi guy used me as an experiment.” For this guy, it was not just about betrayal; he was also made to feel like a phase, someone to be experienced, not taken seriously.”
In addition, one guy shared an instance where he felt disrespected: “A hideous group meet where a guy who’d just been double penetrated told us how women were better.
Like … dude … (1) buzz kill and (2) you’re deluded.”
Interestingly, some bisexual men themselves describe challenges when dating gay men, particularly when it comes to expectations: “Being a bisexual guy, I tried dating gay men, but many weren’t interested in pursuing a monogamous relationship. Women were more likely to want a monogamous relationship, but that’s just me.” This comment earned a response that reads: “Problem is bi guys as well don’t seem to want to be monogamous either in my experience. Luckily, my SO is and was different.” This back-and-forth highlights misalignment in expectations, not just sexual orientation. Some men, whether gay or bisexual, want a monogamous relationship, while others are not looking for something serious. Maybe the key is to establish expectations from the get-go.
Another recurring concern is subtle or casual homophobia within relationships. “In my experience, bi guys can be OK as partners but are prone to casual homophobia, so I’m not sure how that’d work long term.”
Meanwhile, someone replied, “I prefer dating gay guys who share my sexuality. That’s all. I’m in a wonderful relationship with a gay guy, and he gets my sexuality completely. He understands the lack of attraction to women.” He explained, “When I dated bi guys, they never fully got it.”
Lastly, another gay man shared, “Most bisexuals like men for pleasure and women for relationships. All bisexuals I have met say sex with men is way better. But because of society, it is easier to have a relationship with women.” Then there’s the perception —whether fair or not —of gay men being “fun” but not “forever,” which comes up often in these discussions.
A quick reminder before we open this up for discussion: this topic can bring up strong feelings and personal experiences. If you’ve been hurt, remember that your feelings are valid, but let’s keep the conversation respectful and grounded. Avoid generalizations, personal attacks, or dismissive language. Share your story, not stereotypes. The goal here is to understand perspectives, not to tear each other down.
It’s important to remember that experiences vary widely. Some gay men have successful, long-term relationships with their bisexual partners. Others avoid it entirely after one bad experience, while some remain open but cautious.
At its core, relationships aren’t just about sexuality. It’s about trust, communication, and what each person wants from a relationship.
Having said all that, Adam4Adam blog readers, would you date a bisexual or bicurious guy, or not anymore? How has your experience shaped that decision? And if you’re one of those cautious guys who are still open to dating a bi guy even after experiencing heartbreak, what needs to be different for the relationship to work? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
I want to clarify that I have never looked for a boyfriend. Like to make friends that are sexual. I never went for hasty anonymous. So by schedule or circumstance, did not always repeat, although I usually tried to stay in touch. In my lifetime, I have had only a limited number of guys I got together with more than three times for sex, and sometimes not for sex, and they were bisexual, younger than me, and typically learning. I found honesty, no surprise expectations, no sudden demands. Any changes were already known possibilities. I seriously found the enthusiasm and… Read more »
I can honestly say from both personal experiences as well as relate to the experiences of others when it comes to bisexual men and bisexuality in general. I was in a relationship years ago with a bisexual guy back in 2016 that only lasted for two months before I broke up with him entirely with no regrets. He was very narcissistic which is a trait I’ve seen in many bisexual men which is a major red flag especially if you’re in a monogamous relationship. To explain in better detail, narcissistic behavior comes in many forms, some subtle some very obvious… Read more »
I don’t blame you that’s bullshit. Most of these guys aren’t truly bi-sexual. The majority are just gay men that afraid to come out of the closet. Many of them are conveniently pretending to be straight amongst straight friends. However, they have far more gay sex. Many of them have the nerve to be bottoms! Please go take your “ half-a-man” ass somewhere else.
As a long married bisexual man, I have heard that tired old line that bi men are you deluded gay men. That’s certainly not true about this bi man! I’m bi and have no desire to limit myself to enjoy one sex. I feel gifted that I can truly enjoy both sexes.
Perhaps, better stated: Bi-sexual, sexually; Homosexual, emotionally & psychologically?
To a large extent that’s actually true in most cases hence a lot of their internalized homophobia attitudes. There’s an old saying my grandad used to say, “You don’t have to eat a whole cow to know that you’re eating meat.” I was 18 soak and wet at the time, but I learned enough how these guys’ minds tend to operate, so I see it as typical behavior nowadays. Now that I’m 27 looking back on everything, the only good thing that came out of it was realizing my own self-worth and values as a human being. I even went… Read more »
You dated an asshole. You’re ascribing the actions and beliefs of one dickhead (or, if you’re using anecdotes from other people, a couple of dickheads) to all bisexuals. I’m sure this isn’t going to sway your opinion, but if you really want to base your generalizations on a few anecdotes, at least get a few more.
as a senior bi man i can tell you that i like men sexually but not emotionally. If i want to get caught up in an emotional arrangement (which i don’t) then I would choose a woman. at this late stage I just want a physical release and with men I can achieve that without any of the attendant nonsense of relationships. I have been on my own most of my life and see no need to change it. Men for pleasure all the way.
Yep and that’s partially the problem with some men, particularly those that are looking for more than a sexual connection. But being a bisexual man myself I can say that the struggle is real and exhausting.
I can respect that all you really need is some good ass and mouth action. Gay men can have emotional swings like pregnant women. Major turn-off!
“We” didn’t as much “date” as just plain sex with each other for years, it was all based on friendship and sex.
Yo, Lamar! Was away for a few weeks enjoying a much needed vacation!
I’m glad you’re back, bro, hope you had good time!
licks and kisses!
Looking good zebra. Nice and thick!! Lol
striped, too!
yo and Lamar join me and da’ Zebras at the Oasis
Would like that!!! Get my feet wet!!
think about rolling ‘rnd da water, too!
Ok. Might as well get wet all over.
Right back atcha, bro!
roll around da’ beach next time?
looking good Zebra!
Proud of you
Nice. It’s so relaxing having sex with a good friend. No strings, easy to talk to. Just good hot sweaty sex and then laugh about it together afterwards.
It was, really good. I’d love to have that again all these year later.
If that’s a hint, I’m very much interested!!! Lol. Very much!!
It’s an all-out, all-points bulletin” lmao.
Would I date a bisexual man? No. I don’t date. Dating means looking for a partner, usually just one, to go through life with. Not looking for that type of relationship. I stay away from guys saying they’re looking for a long term relationship. I have FWBs. Guys I have long term relationships with. Two I’m emotionally attached to.
Would I become an FWB with a bisexual man? Sure. Have done it in the past.
I wish there were more gay men out there like you. I prefer friends that understand to please their man. If I wanted all that yakety yak, I would find a woman. There are times I come home, I want somebody ready to catch this nut!
You spoke for me. I could have written the exact same thing word for word!! Actually, I’d rather have sex with a bi – sexual dude.
Only if the Bi man is relationship oriented with men and has zero interest in dating or having a emotional intimacy with a female. I am a zillion percent gay male, and for hookups bi dudes and STr8 men are fine, but when I date and seek a partner, he has to be all man, all gay!
I highly doubt a straight man would hookup with you…
Dude, if that’s what you are, I have had more partners than you can count. Tons of them straight men that just need human contact and sex. I never simply seek out Straight men. You are obviously missing the point. Anyway . . .
So, females are for sex only?
The term is ‘Breeders’
What part of Bisexual do you not understand? A Bi guy likes women and men. If you only want a gay guy, say so, silly rabbit
Dash, buddy, you are totally missing the point. Not worth my time! Most Bi men prefer an emotional relationship with either a man or a chick. Perhaps the misunderstanding comes with how someone defines “dating.” In my day, dating means to pursue and emotional and physical relationship with someone, not just physical. Anyway, best wishes pal!
I just fuck em. The harder the better. If the wife or gf wants to watch, good for her. Better is she goes ATM when I pull out. Clean up on a Aisle 8 inch!
I wouldn’t not. I do not date.i do not want monogamous relationship. I know I’m a whore that likes FWB. I have arranged situations with a few that keep me happy. I tried to date bisexual men before but there can only be one queen in my bed. I run away from any queens looking for an LTR. My life is less complicated this way. My bussy is happier too having an few FWB’s!
yes
Why not?
I can honestly say dating a Bi Guy is less problematic than dating a Gay Guy who gets too emotional, too needy and possessive before a Relationship really develops. I have dated a few Gay Guys that had potential but for whatever reason the relationship went south. Bi Guys on the otherhand are usually looking for instant gratification and like to keep moving. I have messed around with Bi/ST8/Divorced that have wanted to make things more exclusive due to what they considered ideal circumstances. I managed to involve myself with a Married Guy who actually despised his Wife (his description)… Read more »
To be honest– we bi guys aren’t looking to date, we are only looking for sex.
Personally I don’t date men,just like to sex them up,still hiding in the closest (bi)married guys are very tasty to me!love the hunger they have for dick,suck/fuck the feeling out of it!
Why not? Strait, bi, gay, married.! Its about the connection.
the best is having sex with a woman while a guy watches and then banging the guy while his woman watches.
or running a train on his wife while he is watching and cleaning the cum out of her ass in between studs
Im just looking to get my dick wet… I don’t care if he’s bi, gay, fluid, tri sexual etc…not looking for partner, husband, lover etc.
As a bi-guy, I’m open to relationships with the men I sleep with, just not every one. I am the exact same way with women, and I let people know that up-front. There have been men who wanted more and I wasn’t interested, but not because they’re a man, but because I only wanted to have sex with them. That might have been disappointing to them, but that’s the nature of dating/intimacy and how I felt was clearly communicated. The issues these dudes are having is with people with bad communication and personal skills, not bi men. A bi man… Read more »
Only if he knows I’m a total top.
No total top uses “boi” in his profile handle, who do you think you’re fooling. That explains why you haven’t been able to hook up in years. ( something also unheard of amongst active tops). If you read some of these entries, it’s amazing how much creeps out between the lines. Once you accept your true sexuality, you’re sexual lifestyle with blossom.
It’s amazing how you think just because people live in a different location than you their life can’t be different than yours.
I’ve long accepted my sexuality. Doesn’t negate letting people know you about you from the start & deciding how they want to handle that information.
The only bi men I’ve known are ones who are married to women and cheating. Their lives revolve around lying so they can get away and have sex with men. No thanks.
I think a better question would be: why would a bi guy even want to date a gay guy? They’re so bitter, emotional and insufferable when it comes to bi guys.
But, the gays are so stuck in their echo chamber of talking shit about bi guys, that, they don’t even realise how bitchy and off-putting they are. It’s totally unattractive.
In online dating (hookups), you can’t swing a dildo without hitting a bisexual guy. Since I stopped going to gay bars in the early 2,000’s and started cruising online, I’d estimate that 90% of the guys I’ve met are bi. Most are married. They can be fun to play with, but not to keep. If a guy can’t commit to one gender, he sure can’t commit to one person.
Very well said.
So what? Sex is just sex. If you’re looking for love, then Grindr is the wrong place. Silly
I’ve been on dating apps/websites for 28 years now. I used to be on them and in chat rooms for hours a day during my 20’s. There have been…perhaps over a thousand men I’ve talked to in that time, and of the bisexuals, only like 5 were tops. All of the rest were bottoms with men, maybe versatile, and half of them had odd hangups or taboos for sex. This isn’t even addressing that 80-90% of them were bisexual, but hetero-romantic. So, that echoes what a lot of others, and the article, are saying about only wanting women for relationships.… Read more »
Trust me, it’s no white picket fence. They should be a documentary on women who have screwed up their lives investing in these types. Some of these guys bring every disease home known to man.
I love this article, I have been looking for a FWB for some time now. But I can’t find a host. I wish to have “that” friend, to play golf, ride bike, just to do guy things. Then back his place and enjoy some hot m2m sex.
Perfect scenario
Yes, it sounds very hot.
Would I? Plainly- NOPE!
The best sex I’ve ever had was a two year relationship with a bi guy. He was married with kids, as was I. Somehow, our need to find a male lover and have an itimate relationship satisfied an innate need we’d tucked away to satisfy pressures of the society. He fucked me over 200 times. It was cool because we were monogamous and never worried about std’s. Truth be told, we are admittedly gay. I’m now out and single. He is still with his wife and miserable. Many times I think about him with a great love and fondness. We… Read more »
Would I willingly choose to Date a Bisexual Man, NO strictly because in the long run the relationship would never fulfill what I am looking for long term. Mess around with Bi or ST8, no problem. Most of My memorable encounters have been with Bi,ST8 and specifically Divorced Men (especially the One’s exploring and experimenting). Too many Gay Men get too emotional and are just as sappy/needy and bitchy like a typical Female that watches too many Hallmark Movies. Just Let it Happen in Real Time………..STOP with the Unnecessary Pressures! I have been in several lengthy relationships in Gay man’s… Read more »
It all depends upon the man. I have “dated” both gay and bi men and had relationships with both. With either, if we’re fuck buddies then there are no expectations (which I prefer). Would I enter into another relationship? With the right one, yes, but we both have to be on the same page and of the same mindset. Orientation has little to do with it.
i sure would im very discreet
Ass up, face down. Love to hear a bitch squeal like a pig while I skewer him like a hog on a spit. Prison rules, baby