(Photo Credits: VladOrlov from Shutterstock)
Hey, guys! How often are you actually hooking up? Not what you think is “normal,” not what you tell your friends—the real number. Has it stayed consistent, or does it change depending on your mood, schedule, or who’s available? And when you think about it, are you satisfied with that number?
We are asking because a gay man online asked a similar question. He added:
Truly curious – guys who are into the hook up scene or are sexually active: How many times do you have sex per week, and with how many different people?
For me, I average about 3 – 4 per week. Might be new partners, might be regulars.
Also – there are nights when I go to a group party or bath house where I might hit 8 or 9 encounters in one night.
But that norm is about 3 or 4 / week.
No judgements – what about everyone else?
Responses show that some guys are sexually active but selective, while some are a little burned out by the process. One response highlights the reality of app fatigue and shifting priorities. He said, “I’m averaging twice a month, mainly because I get app fatigue.” He elaborated, “Sex can be fun, and it’s important to me, but I’m also not addicted to it the way a lot of people in this community are. In periods of my life where I’ve been really promiscuous, I would get STDs semi-frequently. And a lot of guys are just super selfish in bed. Eight times out of ten, I can give myself a better orgasm.”
On the other end of the spectrum, some gay men are fully immersed in the hookup scene like this guy who shared, “I’d say between 5 and 8 guys a week.”
In addition, others fall into a more moderate rhythm such as this man who responded, “Once or twice a week.” Consistent, manageable, and maybe more aligned with routine than impulse. Not too much, not too little—just enough to keep things interesting.
Then there are those who opt out entirely—not out of lack of opportunity, but by choice:
“I honestly don’t like hooking up. I tried to stay with one guy to stay together.” For some gay men, the appeal isn’t variety—it’s stability. The hookup culture just doesn’t deliver what they’re looking for.
That perspective is echoed by guys who’ve stepped away after trying it: “Been abstinent for about 4 months now. Someone I was dealing with introduced me to the lifestyle, and realized I truly have no desire for hookup culture. So not often, honestly.” Sometimes you have to experience something firsthand to realize it’s not for you.
Meanwhile, one gay man asked what even counts as a hookup. He replied, “Five to six times per week. What is considered sex, though? Anal? Or do blowjobs count? I think BJs count. So, I’m counting any guys I hook up with for any type of sex at all.” That question alone changes the numbers. Depending on how you define it, your “frequency” could look very different.
Lastly, there are those who don’t have sex as often, and that’s okay. “I’m 20 and the last time I had sex was a year ago… guess I’m living a different lifestyle lol.”
So what does all this tell us?
There’s no standard. No “normal.” Just patterns that reflect where you are in life—your energy, your priorities, your experiences.
Some guys want variety. Others want consistency. Some step back from sex and dating entirely.
Having said all that, what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? Are you hooking up regularly, occasionally, or not at all right now? Has your frequency changed over time—and if so, why? Do you prefer variety, or do you have regular FWBs? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
Not as much as i woul like to! Which is probably a good thing. Very addicted to cock!
I connect with one of my handful of FWBs about once per week. Sometimes, it’s a couple/few weeks in between. Sometimes it’s a two on the same day or during the same week. Have “bowled a strike” and actually met all of them during the same week. It’s always about quality over quantity.
Wow, is that all man? You need to rent a cabin in the woods SOON!
Are you just doing long head jobs or they’re cummin in the bussy?
Thank God I’ve found a great group of regular buddies that like to stop by when they have some free time. And BJ’s DEF count in my opinion. I guess I see a couple buddies every day, except weekends when they can’t escape their wives!
Sadly not as often as I like, maybe zero to twice a year and they’ve all been total disappointments. One hit wonders, small dicks, lack of good tops etc. Maybe I’ll collect all 7 dragonballs and wish for a reliable FWB, LOL! (If you got that last part, kudos to you!)
Really, not often enough. Right now about once a month if lucky. Do a lot of chatting with guys on sites but does not seem to go anywhere. I am married, not out, etc but I do love to suck cock!!
I’m married as well,not out, I don’t play as much as I would like to, but I truly enjoy sucking a nice clean dick and getting deep fucked myself, not many tops here in Alexandria Louisiana
I’m in the same situation as you, I live with my woman. Thankfully, I have a straight friend that let use his bathroom to douche. So I can be ready to get fucked. I usually go to a nearby truck stop and get fucked in the bathroom. I have taken 8 guys in one night. Sometimes it might be slow and you’re lucky to get one. Truckers bust big loads
You are a brave and lucky guy, I have many straight friends, well I’m assuming they are straight, they are probably assuming I’m straight, it’s a lotta us straight acting guys out here being with other men, But anyway like a stated your are very brave because I don’t think I could, well I know I couldn’t let my assumed straight friend/friends know that I need to use their restroom to prepare myself to get fucked, , I try to keep this lifestyle on the DL as much as possible
How often?
Wiping your Ass or Attending Mass?
I guess some members feel they have to say something even if it adds nothing to the topic. I guess they didn’t learn that if you don’t have anything meaningful to say, don’t say it! You know who you are!
Men with useful replies tend to be better men and lovers. Others can only express their disdain with their lives by trying to draw attention to themselves—yet their inner misery means their responses will contain vitriol.
and some flap their gums because it gives them momentary existence?
It really varies depending upon my mood, opportunity, all sorts of things. There have been times when I’ve gone weeks or even a month or so without hooking up. There are times I have had up to nine sexual partners in a week. Sometimes you want nothing and are content, other times I’ve wanted to get into the sling at a bath house that’s near me and take on a whole bunch of guys. Am I a bit of a slut sometimes? Absolutely. But it is an all one thing or another
How often? Let me see…. Obama was President….
FDR? LOL! LOL! LOL!
lol lol lol:):):)
Might as well join the CONVENT, you poor deprived thing!
How often? Let me see….Obama was President….
It’s so unpredictable. Nothing for three months or more, then two guys in one day.
Can you dm me let’s discuss some more ideas
I’ve slowed down alot. 2023, 2024 I was sort of out of control… last year starting in June to feb this year… I was abstinent. So far this year, just two. I’m fortunate to be STD free and im trying to keep it this way. Sex is great but what I realized doing my 8 month abstinence is it’s not the end of the world if you don’t hookup. I admit i’ve been fortunate when it comes to sex. Fit, good looking, big ass dick…. never had any problems in that area. I think something more meaningful is the hardest… Read more »
I used to do it a lot in my 30s, after in my 20s practicing dating by going out with 100 guys, non sexually, for a year and a half. It was like I learned how to date then with my own Manhattan swanky places in my late 20s and 30s, I could add hook ups to the mix. I averaged a couple a week, mostly guys who didn’t present themselves as worth the effort to take out, didn’t show they had a standard-requirement of me. They simply found me attractive and offered booty—like a public toilet/urinal. Take precautions, double… Read more »
OK then
Me thinks you’re on the troll-ish side that pays for sex. You’re trying to portray it with some sense of glamor. It seems like you’re the one that was offering endless booty but you have been on the market way too long without settling down. If you’re interested, I can forward info for Prager University. They are so good in assisting in these situations.
I use to several times a week, but work responsibilities changed, and I just don’t feel like putting in the effort to clean out just for half of the dudes to flake. Now its just if I’m off work for several days (PTO basically). I’m still a horny slut deep down inside though. Just the effort:pleasure ratio isn’t quite there anymore
Just wondering: do y’all ever use pictures that aren’t from Vlad Orlov? It feels like he just takes a bunch of selfies in sexual positions, getting boring. He’s cliché hot, not actual hot. Nearly every single picture you attach to articles, has the same guy in it, why?
Not as much as I should. I’m too sidelined with my regular and side projects.
Last hooked up 7 years ago. If A4A were a men’s prison I couldn’t get laid even if I had a fistful of pardons.
I would love to find a regular and enjoy sex at least 3 times a week.Kissing and making out with a guy in my bed naked would be nice every day or night
As often as possible but on this site there’s a lot flakes and idiots
Lol, not nearly enough as I’d like, out of choice, maintaining peace of mind, cleanliness and safety. But when I do, it’s mind-blowing satisfying quality over quantity.
Not often enough. Problems like schedules, where to meet, etc. are always an issue.
been about 15 months for me- I engage and am looking but Im selective about compatibility (personality, physical attraction) and have a hard stop if a potential guy has random hookups and juggles multiple regulars. Not judging – so if thats your thing go for it- just not for me
Was a couple times weekly but my regular sex partner fell in love with another, so pretty sporatic lately
Nowadays little to none,I like mature everyday guys,its hard to find them now!Wish I could go back to the late 1980’s thru 2000,when not everyone was a Faggot,today gay guys are a major turn off,to me,to sissy and way to feminine!
Fella go talk to your mother that way. You have a lot of nerve. Show some respect.
I am a married closet bottom, I’m very masculine at home and in public, but some seems to forget that back in the the day being faggot and be feminine and a sissy is what being gay was built up on, back in the day if you were gay you was feminine referred to as a sissy, if you were gay that meant you wanted to be and feel like a woman, isn’t that what being gay meant ? but nowadays day being feminine and a sissy is too gay for sum gays, seems to me that today’s gays don’t… Read more »
No offense but I tried to make sense of your statement. You sound like an confused sissy. You don’t understand nothing about being gay, you’re just an animated sex toy.
I remember when real men knew how to tell the difference between “to” and “too.” Those were the days!
Not nearly enough
It varies quite a bit. I would say most weeks it’s 2-3 times, with at least one being a regular or an irregular repeat(there are a couple of guys who are only in town once in a while). That being said, there are nights that I hook up with more guys than that.
I’m lucky if it’s even once/year.
Where are you dude? You can DO BETTER than that!
No, that might be the best that he can do. He has a great deal of self-loathing. All of his posts possess some form of isolation. He always has hundreds of reasons why he can’t make connection. Most people avoid negative energy, like this. It’s his comfort zone, just respect it.
This August will be 14 years for me. I’m 36, very straight-acting & athletic (honestly, in better shape than plenty guys even a decade my junior), moderately handsome. Porn is hot and I often imagine my local UPS driver in some of the roles while I’m pleasuring myself because he’s so handsome and has the most incredible athletic, tan legs, but I just feel like it doesn’t translate into real life. I also take my health incredibly seriously, and do not believe in pharmaceutical chemicals (so no pRep garbage here or any of its take-this-so-you-can-be-a-slut-tonight facsimile Rx bullsh!t, sorry). I… Read more »
Wow dude, you need to rethink YOUR PRIORITIES! Years fly by and you can never get them back. Are you even LOOKING for something or just REPRESSING ALL YOUR NEEDS AND DESIRES?
He used the words “pleasuring myself.” No one under the age of 80 talks like that. He’s an old man jerking off to porn that he’s writing on A4A. I get the feeling a lot of these comments are just old men fantasizing about the lives they used to lead, or wish they used to lead.
I wouldn’t go to her place. This bitch sound like she went crazy already. Internet hookups are mixed nuts.
My bf feels that a handjob or bj is not sex..yet to me it is sex.. you are naked and doing something that people share together and it feels good.. although i. Don’t remember the last time we had sex because hes always playing with other people and lying about it.
He’s probably not attracted to you anymore. It sounds like he thrives on anonymous sex. I had a similar situation. I got older and my mate lost interest. He said he just got oral from guys, which still bothered me. I found out he was a liar. My hair stylist was fucking his ass on a regular basis. Neither of them knew the connection. It all came together when crossing paths at a bar. My stylist met him at a bath house.i immediately ended the relationship. He was a liar. The stylish cut him off as well. I know he… Read more »
Why do you feel that you’re entitled to information about your sex partners’ personal life? You’re there for sex, not to share intimate details about your life. As long as he’s not lying to you about his health or STD status, who he is and isn’t fucking is frankly none of your business. If he was a romantic partner, that’s another story. But a dude you’re fucking? No.
It was an ex. Similar to the earlier post. I stated that it was a mate. Most people understood that.
Hey buddy, I dealt with that same shit for a while until I kicked my Ex out! Best thing I ever did, never looked back and have LOTS MORE SEX now!
Never really been big on hooking up. But since I live in SoCal and being a tall, slim black man who’s mostly a top, I can easily keep busy with hookups, but I choose not to. I hookup maybe a couple times a month.
In my 20’s I was bartending at the busiest dance clubs in town. I had a worked out gym body, before that was a thing, and always had plenty of fresh new (and some good repeat) hook ups. As I got a little older, in my 40s, I still had the same drive but became tired of the old games and became much more interested in conversations and real connections. I realize that over 40 is looked upon as being a (gay) dinosaur, but I’ll take a man with a dad-bod, a few wrinkles and actual substance over a muscle… Read more »
I cut back when I was going through a depressive episode, but found that makes things worse. Cum and cumming is the best antidepressant I’ve found, so I am working toward a frequency of 2-3 times per week.
I have wanted to find a hot FWB for a long time. I crave cock, and hoping to find a top. I have bottomed many times and wish to continue. BUT, I want to feel a cock in my ass. I have ridin’ some dildo’s and “loved” it. BUt I am ready for the real thing.
At least once or twice a week with up to 3 or 4 different dudes.