(Photo Credits: fizkes from Shutterstock)
Some people think gay men are constantly hooking up. But how true is this? Is it just perception shaped by apps and hookup culture? And does age, location, or lifestyle change the answer?
We are asking because one young man shared his observation about his gay older brother and wondered if what he was seeing was typical. He wrote, “Brother having a heavy, sexually active life. Is this normal for gay guys?” He then went on to say that his older brother is 21 and currently in college. He often goes to parties with his female friends and appears to be enjoying an active social life. At one point, a whole box of condoms was discovered among his belongings by OP, along with evidence that he uses hookup apps. OP then added:
Pretty sure he always goes on dates, so I’m sure he always ends up having sex lmao, MY QUESTION IS, why does it seem like EVERY GAY GUY HAS A LOOOOT OF SEX. I didn’t realize this till now lol. Would love to hear from y’all.
Some commenters said there’s a simple explanation rooted in male sexuality. One person explained: “To generalize, men are generally more open to having a lot of sex with a lot of people. So, if you’re a man into other men, that’s much easier to achieve.”
Another gay man pointed out that dating dynamics can play a role. Without some of the traditional “games” that happen in heterosexual dating, things may move faster. He explained, “Yes, gay guys tend to have a lot of sex because they don’t tend to play the ‘hard to get’ games. So, they just have as much sex as they want – and most young guys want to have a lot of sex. I’m glad your brother uses condoms – it means he understands the importance of protecting his health.”
Some responses were even more direct. One guy kept it simple: “Men like to fuck. Your brother is a man. If he were a straight man, he’d still like to fuck. It’s not a mystery.”
Others framed it in terms of opportunity and matching desire levels between partners. “If your girlfriend were as horny as you, you’d have as much sex as we do.”
Meanwhile, another commenter said the environment matters too. “Pretty normal, honestly. Men in general are wired for more casual sex, and when you remove the straight dating dynamics from the equation, it just happens. As long as he’s being safe, let him live his life.”
But not everyone agreed that the stereotype is accurate. One guy pointed to research and statistics suggesting the picture is more nuanced. “This is really generalizing. The median number of lifetime sexual partners for gay men is 10 – 19. In urban areas, it skews higher, of course, but the idea that ‘most’ gay men have hundreds of partners in a lifetime is farcical.”
More importantly, experiences vary widely. Not every gay man is interested in hookups or frequent sex. One young gay man shared a very different perspective, “Well, not everyone. I’m 20 and in college too, but I’m a virgin and never made out. [I] couldn’t care less TBH.”
These mixed responses highlight an important point: there is no single “normal” when it comes to sexuality. Some people enjoy active dating and hookups. Others prefer relationships, or simply aren’t focused on sex at all.
Apps and social environments may also shape perception. Platforms designed for meeting partners can make it seem like everyone is constantly hooking up, even though many people are just chatting, dating, or exploring connections.
Having said all that, what do you think, Adam4Adam blog readers? Is an active sex life common among the gay men you know? Do apps and social circles make it seem more common than it really is? And what has your own experience been like? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
Yeah – I def believe gay men have more encounters than STR8’s. In general, females love to play games and get too dramatic about sex. Of course there are exceptions. If I’m attracted to a gl, masc and hot guy I just want to have a GREAT time with NSA and NO drama involved. Been in LTR’s also and those get too messy and dramatic also ~~~ CASUAL is DEF the way to go. UNLESS lightning strikes and you actually meet someone TOTALLY compatible so you don’t HAVE to COMPROMISE your LIFE to the max for your partner!
” Been in LTR’s also and those get too messy and dramatic.” Have you ever considered that maybe you’re the problem?
You don’t know a thing about me. The only problem here is you
Men are more sexually active than women.
Gay men might get to have more sex then Straights because Gay men are more matter of fact about it.
The real problem here is “a whole box of condoms was discovered among his belongings by OP, along with evidence that he uses hookup apps.” Why does the OP think he can just rummage around in his brother’s possessions?
My reaction was: “People still use condoms?” If I can’t load it up raw, I’m not interested.
I believe we are,especially if the man is still closest married and feel taboo about it
Yes!
My experience absolutely. Guys know what they want and often what they simply want is to get off. I’ve had four really great sexual encounters this week so far. I fully admit that I really love it and to be honest there’s something incredibly sexy about the freedom you can have being gay in the immediacy in which you can get sex
But how does your 2nd sentence not also apply to heterosexual men?
Only because heterosexual men often have a much more difficult time finding partners. There are so many men and so few women who are actually available and interested certainly in a purely sexual relationship. Whereas I went online Saturday looking for some fun and 2 hours later I was with a couple of guys up in Saratoga getting fucked. Much easier for guys to find partners since gay men are let’s be honest, very up for sex
Im 58 and came out as gay when I was 55.
In the short time ive been out ive had sex with over 200 men ,so much so that ive had to keep a log.
Hookups in this day and age is so much simpler, its like ordering DoorDash lol
Honestly im having the time of my life.
Making up for lost time…..
Glad you are enjoying life George! I am pushing 60 myself and been having sex with men for over 40 years, but have slowed down a lot. You got me beat by a few. I have always been very selective and reserved; even at sex parties. Haha.
I am a bi married closet bottom, in my 50’s , I am realizing that the older I get, the more I want sex with men, I mean I’m not out there just giving up ass on a daily basis, but I don’t do it as much as I would like either, I am noticing the need for a man is getting stronger
HOW have you had ~ 200+ in 3 years when I’ve probably had just over 10 my whole life (& I’ll be 52 later this year)?
The only thing I have heard from a gay guy after his first encounter is, “i wish I had started sooner”.Yes make up for missed opportunities.
Yes because men are more sexual than women… getting sex with men is way easier than women. Women will make you wait and they have other biological issues thay can cause them to not be as sexually active as men.
Think I’ve decided, that no matter what the topic is, I’m gonna keep posting this until it gets resolved: lots of guys are doing crack on cam on the main site, most of them attempt to do it slightly off camera so they can blow smoke at the camera. It’s utterly ridiculous. You are creating the environment for them, you are enabling them if you do not stop it from happening. “Clouds” “cloudy” “blowinClouds” or worse yet, “cl0ud”. it is all crack or heroin. Drugs are not sexy.
Why don’t you report them instead of taking this route. I’ve reported quite a few of them. Be part of the solution, not the problem. Personally I think they are disgusting.
I do that, but I find public discourse to be a more powerful tool for change, than silent reports
If you don’t like it then don’t watch it. If someone’s name has “clouds”, or something to that effect in it, you already know what they’re going to be about so why would you even click on their video in the first place? That doesn’t make any sense. Most likely, people who do that aren’t going to be interested in you anyway. So just move on instead of being a Karen about it because those people are still going to be doing it whether you approve or not. It doesn’t hurt you or affect your life in any way. People… Read more »
Sorry, but WHERE did this “on/off camera” angle come from?
~sticks head off cam, pauses, returns to cam and blows smoke~ most of the time, they vaguely hold the end of the pipe off screen, so they don’t show the crack bulb. If you aren’t up at later hours, you probably haven’t seen the 5+ regular “clod/cl0ud” on live cam.
Not hot. This is live now. Go see real example, since you decided to think it was made up.
We are more sexually active. It’s still an huge part of the culture. There was a time we were forced underground to actually meet each other (bars, nightclubs, tea rooms and bath houses) places that we practiced sexual liberation. If straight men had a bathhouses with gangs of women, they’d fuck as much or more than us. Thankfully, young gay people have alternate options if they choose (like chatting with other gay peers via social media…another the bath houses are closing down as well). If you repress people from expressing in one way, they’ll find another
Impossible to say. It depends on the individual. Some people are more sexually active than others.
I started servicing men when I was very young and I’m now 60… most of the guys I have sex with are married or living with girlfriends… so I think men in general have a lot of sex… especially DL guys …
You here that a lot about married men , I am married myself, I wonder why is that, what makes married men different ?
Guys who came of sexual age before say 1990 had it tougher than guys after. If a guy was attracted to men back then, the culture was certainly not favorable for Gays. Being attracted to men meant you could lose you friends, family, job, or even your life. Many of these guys went “Functionally Straight”. They buried their attraction to men and followed the Straight path. But then things began to change: 1) After about 1990, being Gay was not as much of a deal killer.. It wasn’t easy, of course, but there was acceptance. And acceptance has grown year… Read more »
In general, men tend to be more sexually active than women, which means men are having sex with whomever is available. Whether you’re straight, bisexual, gay or somewhere in between, the fewer requirements you have for a sexual partner, sexual partner availability directly increases, which translates into a lot of sex.
Answer: Nope.
An active member of the BiMM ‘tribe’ here and I can say one thing: My gay sex life is a LOT more active than my married heterosex life. By a mile…
I am now 76, from my 20s until the last year, I had a man every night! 6 out of 7 nights a week, and it was a new man. I was very picky, but learned that rest areas, parks, adult theaters, adult bookstores, almost anywhere could give me a new man for an hour (less) or night, or sometimes a weekend. Gay bars and baths did not supply me with that many of, or the caliber of man that I wanted. I did go to the bars and baths mostly while in college. Then a friend told me about… Read more »
such a hot post man.
Most dicks I have ever had in a night meaning from afternoon to after midnight was 14, 6 at a video store and then 8 on a beach after dark. Most dicks means dicks I sucked and swallowed. If I didn’t get cum, I didn’t count it.
Multiple times a day, men get dosed with sex hormones. Through a cycle that spans roughly 21 days a month (on average) women go through a similar cycle, peaking in the middle. Men dependent on women or their hands for sex will get less. It’s that easy to understand.
Women have too many rules, etc., straight men don’t, they could fuck/sex under any circumstance/s, women aren’t like that in terms of convenience, low maintenance, which is everything for men, right?
Two gay men or just two men in general, yeah, gay or w/men, are having more on average, sex out of sheer convenience.
No gay men do not have to worry about dinner, movies etc. Let’s just fuck and suck. No worry about she getting knocked up. Plus, we know how to many guy feel good. Most woman can’t suck cock or shallow cum. A lot of them can’t take big cock. Guys are alway horny. Getting off is fun and help with stress too. Gay guys are sluts too.
Well said.
I’ve got an idea: Let’s compare 1/2 of the 85-90% population to ? of the 10-15% population on their bedroom activities.
Sure…why not?
It may be way more married and straight acting guys out here than we think, I think if you put 10 so call straight guys in the right place at the right time, about 8-9 of them will either suck a dick to see what it’s like, fuck another guy, or get his dick sucked by a guy , 9 times out of ten so call straight guy will let another man suck his dick if he knew no one would find out, I think it in all of us, some of us are brave enough to do it and… Read more »
I would say gay men get a lot more sex than straight men. Many gay men married to other gay men still have fuck buddies on the side (I know, I have been one of the on the side men). Men know what other men like. It is truly, blow and go. Sometimes you get lucky and make a real connection and have a long time friend or boyfriend. I did not start really playing until my 30s with men and I made up for lost time then. Less active in the last 10 years, but still I would say… Read more »
Living in a small town and not out I don’t have as much as I would like. When I travel I try to make up for it, Sex is natural.