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Do you still believe in love? Or has the modern gay dating scene made you wonder if it’s even worth it anymore? Are you tired of endless swiping, flirty chats that go nowhere, or relationships that never get off the ground? Has gay dating changed too much over the past few years? More importantly, hooking up these days is easy, is love still worth it?
For many gay men, dating has become a source of frustration rather than excitement. The hookup culture, ghosting, lack of emotional availability, and ever-shifting expectations can make it feel like lasting connections have become increasingly rare. Add in the stress of navigating apps, mixed intentions, and post-pandemic social changes, and it’s easy to see why some gay men feel burnt out on romance altogether.
But does giving up mean you’re bitter? Or are you simply protecting your peace?
These are the kinds of questions a gay man recently posed in an online forum, sparking a passionate conversation among readers. He asked, “Has anyone completely given up on dating? And what are your thoughts on the current state of gay dating? Hey y’all. Just curious to see what your thoughts and experiences are on these topics…”
The responses varied, but to many, the question struck a chord. One gay man shared a hopeful yet realistic take: Very thankful to be in a long-term and happy relationship with the man of my dreams. Like me, he’s very against making being gay a center of his personality and we click on so many fronts.” He added, “There is a lot of noise and games in dating these days. Keep your head on straight, know what your ultimate goal is. Each failed talking stage presents a lesson.”
Another guy shared, “I haven’t fully given up, but I’ve resigned myself to being comfortable in my own skin. I’m not putting myself through the apps, the toxicity, and hassle of trying to be out there like a piece of meat.”
For some, exhaustion has simply taken over, like for this guy who said, “I’ve been in relationships for the better part of my life. I’m done dating LOL. I don’t think we’ve shaken off the pandemic’s effect on emotional connection.”
On the other hand, others critiqued the current landscape more harshly:
“Gay dates are in critical condition, unfortunately, sex is very easy. And in my opinion, sex is one of the apexes of a relationship. If people can get that so easily, why would they invest in the trials of a relationship?”
Meanwhile, another guy put it bluntly: “The thought of a life of hookups is depressing.”
Not everyone is disillusioned, though. Some readers expressed optimism that meaningful connections still exist. “There’s definitely still hope. It can be exhausting to put yourself out there, but I’m just taking a break to focus on myself.”
Lastly, another man chose a different path: “I’ve actually done the opposite. I gave up on hookups and committed myself to finding a BF or FWB. Invest in meaningful sex, not just cheap hookups.”
What about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? Have you given up on dating, or just redefined what it means to you? Do you believe a true connection is still possible in the gay world today? How has your own experience shaped your views? Share your stories and experiences, sound off in the comments section below!
