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Cheating is usually a one-sided story—we often only hear the side of the person who was betrayed, blindsided, and left to pick up the pieces. But what about the other side? What drives someone to cheat? Regret? Lust? Loneliness? One gay man online flipped the script by asking a bold question: “Gays who have cheated. I feel like we typically hear from guys who have been cheated on, and not the guys who have done the cheating…” He added, “I just want to hear the perspective, even if you think it was worth it. Have you ever cheated? If you did, did you regret it? Did you cheat on the one that got away? How did it make you feel after?”
The responses from gay men online were brutally honest, complicated, and deeply human. These aren’t just excuses—they’re stories of desire, guilt, emotional neglect, and hard-learned lessons. See some of their responses below.
The emotional void that led to a hookup and a turning point, this is the case of one gay man who confessed, “The guy I was seeing was emotionally unavailable, and I always felt like I was begging to be a part of his life. Instead of communicating this, I hooked up with someone who was willing to give me that affection… It felt great at the moment, but the guilt was eating me. I stopped and started communicating with him. Turns out, that was all that had to happen.” He didn’t cheat to hurt, but to fill a void. Ironically, the affair led to a wake-up call: if he had spoken up sooner, he might’ve avoided betraying someone who just needed honesty.
In addition, another guy responded, “I have no excuse and was a repeated offender… I repeatedly cheated on my ex from our first year in a 4-year relationship… He still loves me and wants to get back together, I still love him, but my guilt and shame… It haunts me every single day, even after a year we’ve broken up.”
No excuses, just pain, shame, and lasting consequences. This brutally honest account reveals the long-term emotional toll cheating can take, not just on the betrayed partner, but on the one who did the damage.
Moreover, someone shared, “I cheated on my ex…we’d been together 4 years. When he found out, he was absolutely heartbroken… I found out he had bought a ring and was planning an elaborate proposal.” It’s a case of a lost love and a proposal that never happened. This one’s especially heartbreaking. The betrayal didn’t just end a relationship—it killed a future. Now, the cheater lives with the weight of what could’ve been.
This one on the other hand, is a tale of a young, careless man hit with karma. He said, “I cheated on my first boyfriend when I was 20… Lightning bolt chemistry with someone else. I broke up with my boyfriend and started seeing the new guy… Then I caught him cheating on me.” Call it immaturity or poetic justice, this guy admits he treated his first relationship like a novelty—and karma didn’t waste time catching up.
When open dynamics blur into betrayal…at least this is the case of this guy who replied, “I used to play with cuckold couples… Then I started dating one of the guys and later hooked up with his friend… He called it cheating, but I didn’t think we were exclusive.” In open or poly arrangements, boundaries matter more than ever. This story highlights how assumptions about exclusivity—or the lack of clear talk—can lead to accusations of cheating even when intentions weren’t malicious.
Meanwhile, one gay man admitted that he wanted more sex and was seeking validation, which was why he cheated. “In a previous relationship, the lack of sex was real… Cheating gave me a temporary release and made me feel desirable again… But later came guilt and emptiness.” Sometimes cheating is less about passion and more about feeling seen. This guy’s confession highlights how overlooked needs can spiral into betrayal.
Lastly, someone confessed, “I was cheated on multiple times…. So, I said fuck it and cheated back. And yes—it felt good. But I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t been cheated on first.” This one’s a classic case of revenge cheating. Some people cheat to escape. Others for revenge. This guy made it clear: he wasn’t the first one to break the rules, but he had no intention of being the only one hurt by them.
What about you, Adam4Adam blog readers, what’s your story? Have you ever cheated—or been cheated on? Do you believe there are ever good reasons for betrayal? Does revenge cheating count the same? And if you’ve lived through it, what helped you heal or forgive yourself? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section down below!
