(Photo Credits: MAOIKO from Shutterstock)
The online dating and hookup landscape has evolved drastically over the years, and platforms like Adam4Adam have become spaces where diverse members of the LGBTQ+ community connect. But for older gay men, experiences on these platforms can vary significantly based on perceptions, preferences, and biases in the online dating world.
Adam4Adam blog reader scratch recently posed an intriguing question: “How are older gay males perceived and acknowledged on sex sites?”
This raises an important discussion about ageism, sexual preferences, and how older gay men navigate online dating challenges.
Older gay men often find themselves in a unique position on sex and dating sites. While some users actively seek connections with older partners, others might dismiss or exclude them entirely. Preferences and perceptions can depend on cultural norms, personal biases, or individual sexual attraction.
On one hand, many users appreciate the maturity, life experience, and confidence older men bring to the table. Terms like “silver fox” and “daddy” often celebrate age and experience, particularly within the gay community. For these men, online platforms can be places where their desirability is acknowledged and even celebrated.
On the other hand, ageism persists. Some profiles explicitly exclude older users with phrases like “no one over [insert age].” This can feel dismissive and alienating for older gay men seeking connections, sexual or otherwise.
It’s important to recognize that preferences are deeply personal. While one user may prefer connecting with partners within their age range, another may exclusively seek older partners. These dynamics shape how older gay men are perceived and how they experience platforms like Adam4Adam.
Here are some of the experiences older gay men have reported:
- Feeling overlooked: Some older users mention being ignored or excluded due to age-related biases.
- Being fetishized: Others report being sought after only to fulfill “daddy” or “mature” fantasies, rather than for genuine connections.
- Finding validation: Many older gay men find online platforms affirming, as they connect with users who admire their age, experience, and confidence.
Online dating platforms like Adam4Adam have a role to play in ensuring inclusivity. Features like customizable search options, inclusive language, and visibility for all age groups can help users feel respected and valued.
For individuals, being mindful of the language used in profiles and interactions can foster a more welcoming environment for everyone.
Having said all that, have you ever experienced ageism or bias on Adam4Adam or other platforms? Do you feel celebrated, overlooked, or misunderstood? More importantly, how do you navigate perceptions and biases as an older gay man online? What advice do you have for creating more inclusive and supportive online communities? Share with us your stories and insights in the comments section below.
I am a stereotype. 5 10 170. Trim white beard. Guys think they are cute when they call me daddy. I don’t think so. Not worried about being validated at this point. Some people are intimidated just by my fitness level. No gym rat but in shape. Some guys get really nasty when they get turned down. I go from daddy stud to creepy troll as soon as I say no thanks. The biggest issue I see is an impotency epidemic. The last 3 men I have been with, limp dicks. This “chastity” fad is ridiculous. “OK if I’m in… Read more »
It turns me on when they call me daddy.
I learned to “validate myself” first off. It is much more difficult dating as a “senior citizen”; there, I said it, lmao, but hell, I’ve always been old in a matter of speaking. Problem being though, as I prefer another like me, many have penile dysfunction/s due to conditions/compromises in their health conditions, etc., unfortunately, so, they can only cum by penetration anally. I’m now in and for the last 21yrs., living in Soflo., too many HIV+, as I’m an African American, I’m not about to fall into that number at this ripening age, lol, no way, so, I stick… Read more »
As a youthful older man, most men my age are very unappealing; fortunately, there are a number of younger men who find me appealing, but not nearly enough of them, and far too many want money.
It’s hit and miss. Most younger guys looking for older are bottoms. I’m a older guy with the libido of a 30 year old and still get rock hard…..i just don’t enjoy being a top as much as i enjoy a hot young top. Thank God i can still attract guys to my liking…..but as i said they are fewer and far between. I have been called nasty names as well by younger guys who don’t understand the dynamic. I have tried a couple of the daddy sites…..but most are filled with guys hundreds of miles away, and of course… Read more »
I’m 70; I have a waiting list. I’m fit, not looking for love, have a thick hard eight inches, and have too much fun. If this is about sex, I’m doing well. Lots of eager guys, variety, in this era I’m doing great. I hope others are, too.
We were separated at birth…. Seventy-one and going extra strong. Live your best life, my brother.
You both sound immature.
I am a 69 year old Bisexual man. I have been noticing how hard it is to meet anyone, whether it be a man or a lady. I do suffer from E.D. so I don’t pursue a relationship because of that. I also don’t like being called “Daddy”. I just want someone to hangout with and have occasional sex.
not enough silver foxes in my area to play with
Geographic is usually a hinderance for some of us.
As an older “Daddy” i am surprised at the number of younger guys that are attracted to me, which i have zero issue with … my current lover is 30 yrs younger than me and absolutely adores me which is extremely satisfying
It all depends on if you are a bottom or a top. If you are a bottom and want to date an older guy, be prepared to be treated as a child. I prefer to top older guys, then I don’t have to be told what to do or be treated like I’m dumb for not wanting to settle down or be apart of the “in crowd”. As a top I can fuck, and live my life until I want to fuck again.
I have a son, 38, so I am already a biological daddy. that is enough for me so when a gay male refers to me as a daddy, I correct him, I already have a son, no interest in having a surrogate son. the smart ones get the message and refer to me using my first name, the others leave me be. I do not find being called a daddy a compliment.
Is sir the same thing to you or is that just “alright” or feel more respectful sex wise? I’ve never felt like using daddy in general. Interested in men’s opinion on it
just doesn’t apply to me. i understand it for what it is. my son calls me Dad and that i acknowledge. others can call me by my name not my age.
Age, yes I’m older, has been no more of an issue than any other “must” certain guys must have as they foolishly scroll past guys on sites such as A4A. Top/Bottom/ Sub/Dom, Kiss/No Kiss, Safe Sex/Bareback … age has been in there as A factor as much as them. No more. No less. I don’t specify an age preference in my profile. I’m looking for guys who have their shit together, sexually and otherwise. Guys who will discuss what that means for us both. I’ll hit up guys or not based upon their what they may specify in their profiles.… Read more »
Not quite 60 yet, but the in the past couple of years, I’ve been approached by younger men, like 25+ younger. And most of them are well educated and established so I don’t think it’s about the daddy thing, but they are looking for mature and well-established men to be in relationships with. I usually disappoint them because I prefer older men when it comes to sex. However, I usually enjoy the conversations I have with younger men. Sometimes, the chemistry is intense, which leads to sex, but nothing more on my end. Give me a silver daddy any day.… Read more »
I am seventy-one years old. I look fifty. I counter ageism by writing the one lie contained in my profile; I shave fifteen years off my age. I do not mind being objectified because I’m unusually over-endowed. Similarly, I’m not concerned about what attracts my much younger lovers to my phallus. Invariably, I share my true age with lovers after our initial encounter. Three of my lovers are 38, 37, and 31. Each has been coming by for over a decade and have become good friends – although, as a parent who raised my two Preciouses alone as a divorced,… Read more »
Diabetes, Spinal Stenosis and Prostate Cancer have pretty much wiped out participation. I have an implant that works well. I’ve found lists to be disappointing but occasionally meet someone that pans out during outside activities. In the past I’ve always looked younger than my age and I’ve met some guys who were 15-20 years younger who enjoyed the experience as did I. It’s too bad we don’t have the book stores in Charlotte anymore.
The photo is not of two older men…