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It’s a common question many younger men find themselves asking as they start exploring their sexuality: “Why am I attracted to older men?” One curious 24-year-old gay man put it simply online: “I sort of just started exploring, and my main turn-on I’m finding is older men. Is this normal? And why is this?”
The short answer: Yes, it’s completely normal. Many younger guys find themselves attracted to older men for a variety of reasons, and there’s no one-size-fits-all explanation. For some, it’s about experience and maturity; for others, it’s about the confidence that often comes with age.
According to an article on Psychology Today, some studies suggest that attraction to older men among younger gay men can stem from various factors, including emotional maturity, life experience, and stability. Dr. Michael Seto, a researcher on male sexual preferences, discusses that these attractions could be linked to a combination of biological, psychological, and social influences, potentially shaped by developmental and environmental factors unique to each person. Additionally, younger men in these relationships often mention valuing the wisdom and emotional support that older partners bring, which creates a sense of connection beyond just physical attraction.
Meanwhile, here’s what some gay men online have to say.
1. Don’t overthink it—you’re just attracted to what you like
A lot of people believe that you shouldn’t analyze your attraction too much. One person put it plainly: “Because you just are. Don’t overthink it.” It’s a simple but important point—attraction is deeply personal, and there’s no need to rationalize or justify what turns you on. If older men appeal to you, that’s just the way it is.
Another user, speaking as an older man, welcomed the attraction with open arms, saying: “I’m not sure, but as a daddy I love that you do!”
2. A common turn-on across age groups
It’s actually quite normal for younger guys to be attracted to older men. As one commenter pointed out: “Very normal, actually. And when you get older, you may find yourself becoming attracted to younger guys.” Attraction evolves over time, and what turns you on today might change as you age.
The added benefit of being attracted to older men? You’ll likely find yourself with more opportunities for meaningful connections. “One of the nice things about being into older guys is you’ll have so many options for sex whenever you want it,” one user explained. So, not only is it normal, but you’re in luck if you’re drawn to someone with more experience.
3. Confidence, intelligence, and experience—older men have it all
One of the biggest draws for younger guys is the confidence that often comes with age. As one older man put it: “Because we’re handsome, intelligent, and experienced. Oh! And confident. Lol.” For many, these qualities can be incredibly appealing—older men often know what they want, and they’re not afraid to go after it.
There’s also a sense of stability and security that younger guys may find attractive. An older man has often figured out who he is and what he likes, which can create a comforting dynamic in relationships.
4. Different interests, more understanding
Another reason why some younger men might be drawn to older partners is the maturity and understanding that comes with life experience. “I tend to like slightly older men for a mildly unique reason,” one user explained. “I’m a well-endowed top who’s a little effeminate, but older men learn to value those traits.”
In this case, older men might be more accepting of different interests or personality traits that younger men might not fully appreciate yet. It’s not just about physical attraction; it’s about a deeper connection based on mutual understanding and respect.
So, Adam4Adam readers, why do you think younger guys are attracted to older men? Have you found yourself in a similar situation? Whether you’re the younger man or the older one, we’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments section down below!
FINANCIAL SECURITY…….
BETTER IN BED……….
NOT INTO GAY SILLINESS/DRAMA/SHADY-NESS…
LOL!!! LOL!!! LOL!!!
Don’t gotta be about money, just the sex and companionship is more than enough, honey, respect em!
$$$$$ might be the REAL reason younger males like older males? older males have already earned it; younger males can reap the benefits by either rolling over or kneeling? plus, younger males can marry older males and reap the inheritance, too!
Lamo, it’s true, but that can be very offensive, lol, the truth that is.
What happens when we become the “Daddy?” Do we begin looking for men our age? I am wrestling with that question now that I have entered my 30s.
It’s not about being the “Daddy” or money….Gerontophilia or gerontosexuality is the primary sexual attraction to the elderly. A person with such a sexual preference is a gerontophile or gerontosexual.[1] No explanation but seems quite a few age gap relationships these days. scratch has a somewhat warped view of this…. though he’s not alone, there are plenty of wanna be sugar babies out there.
and cashophillia is the primary reality attraction to the well-monied
You cannot ‘see’ into people heads, just their actions/liaisons, the obvious ones, he’s not really so warped, don’t know where you live or have been, but to your surprise, yes, it’s true! It IS about the money for some.
30s? Honey baby you shonuff got long ways to go!
Daddy’s are over 50, or at least 40. You’re still young.
30’s is nothing, wait until you’re middle aged or a senior. It’s ‘still’ about the looks and things; if you can still get hard; staying reasonably trim/ in shape, good head of hair and teeth, lmao, I gotta laugh about getting older, ’cause sometimes it is funny, frankly. As for young men, well, I once was and loved older men, so much less drama, just as chill as can be, good sex and intimacy, conversation and some were really classy. Now with most older men, unfortunately, many have medical conditions which messes with their libido’s, so far so good, here,… Read more »
Two of my FWBs are half my age. The approached me separately a decade ago. Both said they were done with their peers who were selfish, inexperienced flakes only interested in getting their rocks off quickly and only reconnecting again (maybe) for the same.
They sought older guys for their patience and experience when it came to sex and their desire for repeat meetings and friendship.
I’ve always been into older men. They are just way hotter. Also I think, as silly as this is, I feel like I’m being more controlled and borderline molested. Older men are usually the ones that know what they want and are aggressive in getting it. I like that. Professional outside of the bed, dominant in between the sheets. I like that. I like to be told what to do, I like pleasing him. I’m not into extreme but if I’m with a guy and everytime I start to talk or say no and he puts his tongue in my… Read more »
I totally understand you and I kinda feel the same way, I to was young and curious, and my dad’s friend would let me watch adult movies with him and one day he pulled his dick out during the movie and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it, he made me a offer that I used as an excuse to do what I wanted to do anyway, but I ended up sucking him and he made me a offer if I swallowed his cum, of course I did, I started going by his house to see if he would… Read more »
Tim you hit the nail on the head. I love it when the older guy really wants me, and I get this strong urge to please him however I can. Including being his sex toy. I’m pretty assertive in my daily life and work but the right older guy makes me melt and become kind of sub! My latest guy has kind of a huge dick and I really had to bite my lip to keep from yelling because it hurt so much at first, but I was determined to give him what he wanted. I was so incredibly proud… Read more »
Mmmmm daddies are so hot! I learn plenty from these hot men and I respect and regard them highly too! Learn from yo hot daddy!
I love a older man because they don’t go straight into sex they like to rub and touch and kiss and just take it easy and they don’t like to rush and they sure can talk and that’s what I like and there body’s are much better then a younger guy
I have the opposite problem. I am only attracted to Younger guys. I think I know the reason why but I am totally frustrated. While there are sites to bring sons and dads together, I never seem to find any to connect with in real time romance. Distance is usually the problem…..but I get amazed at the number of May December couples there are, but no one for me. I have no problem hooking up with much younger and having regular FB with the younger crowd, but the dating situation eludes me. I think the fact that I am a… Read more »
When i was young I always preferred older men. I felt they were better lovers. Not selfish when it came to sex. Now that im older while i still prefer mature men i do enjoy the eye candy of younger men. I stll think older men are better in bed though
I was attracted to men when, I was younger. It wasn’t in stone but, just be older than me. As I’ve gotten older in my 60’s, I still find older men attractive, So, getting older still holds its value, attractiveness in many ways.
I’VE BEEN A DADDYTOP SINCE I WAS 35 IN THE 1800S…. I’M DOM, VERBAL, AND LOVE EDIBLE/FUCKABLE PUSSYBOYASS/HOLE. I’M ALSO A TALENTED AND EXP’D NIPPLAY DADDYTOP. . I TEACH MY YOUNGER BOYS NEW THINGS ABOUT THEIR BODIES AND TAKE THEM TO HEIGHTS OF INTENSE PLEASURES THAT THEY HAVEN’T EVEN ‘THOUGHT’ OF GOING TO…… UNTIL THEY MET ME….. I LOVE IT WHEN THEY LOOK AT ME AFTER AND ASK “HOWWWWW DID YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT ???”
God damn, how old are you?
Ok.. i am now in my 50’s and only in the last 15 or so years have i begun to find my peers sexually interesting.. For most of my young adult life i found men 10 years or older more attractive.. my one significant LTR was with a man 15 yrs my senior.. I met him when i was 25 and lived with him until i was 40.. Money had nothing to do with it as during the majority of the years we were together are income was pretty much equal. I had a plenty of opportunities with men who… Read more »
I am attracted to older men now, but I really wasn’t when I was younger. I didn’t like them touching me. I was just that way. Now I am very attracted to mature men 40+. I have noticed young guys in their early 29s wanting to be around me and hangout, but I feel I have nothing in common with them and I don’t feel comfortable around them, because I can’t really trust them. The sex is good sometimes though. They are nice to look at, but they are not usually in my romantic and sexual fantasies, mostly mature males… Read more »
for some it’s just the sex, some animalistic draw towards masculinity
Interesting subject. I do agree with keeping it simple. It depends on the individual. I myself perfer younger guys sexually hands down. As far as friendship, dinner, going to a sporting event, conversation, etc, I perfer middle-aged guys like myself. Personally, younger bucks that I been with sexually, were very creative in bed, athletic, limber, dicks super hard, stamina to die for and could go 3 or more rounds. This comes from my own personal experiences.
Money
No different than any kind of attraction. Not everyone is attracted to a mirror image of themselves. Now that is creepy, guys who only date their Andrew Christian size mate. How about an interesting topic. The current “in chastity” trend. Covering up a huge increase in impotency in young men. Some guys cover up their dick not working by wearing a device. For some, it takes away the shame of having a limp dick. I had a guy over 2 decades my junior if I had taken something because I was still semi hard after I came. He shared that… Read more »
I’ve always been attracted to older men. I’ll be straight up, I have daddy issues and sick as it is my attraction to older guys was trying to get approval and feel like a valued child. I was the alien child from birth to the somewhat redneck, ex captain of the football team, joined the military and made it a career when don’t ask don’t tell was enforce. When I was 18-35ish. It was pretty great .I did take some time off from the life and married a woman and had a son. Which created another issue. He’s 24 and… Read more »
I was always attracted to men about 15 years older than me. Sorry, not for financial reasons as I often out earned the men I was seeing or hooking up with, but for maturity and the precious ability to hold a conversation. Now that I am…of a certain age, I have begun to appreciate younger guys IF they can hold a conversation, read more than video game instructions and not flame out when the world doesn’t go their way.
We have so much more to offer. But there are not enough to go around!
I’ve never been with a guy my age or close to it. I was lucky when i was 18 and met an older guy that groomed to love older men to this day. The confidence, communication and experience is what I love, and what’s great is when they touch, kiss and just enjoy rubbing my body nothing never rushed.. amazing.
I I’m in LOVE with older men, I perfer them 20 to 25 years older. I have dated/slept with guys in my age bracket but there’s just something about an older man that gets me going. They’re usually more hairy, more emmitonally/financially stable, and they usually know what they want out of life. The sex has always been great too. I’ve been told I’m more of an older soul anyway so things just click better. Give me a man in his 50s any day of the week
Daddy issues.
When I was younger I was only attracted to men my age or younger. I was also really interested in trying BDSM and a Dom reached out to me and offered to show me the ropes. I was hesitant at first because he was 20+ years older than me but my interest in BDSM outweighed the age difference so I met up with him. He absolutely rocked my world – his experience and maturity really shined. I’m still attracted to younger men but now I’m also attracted to older men. And now that I’m in my 50’s I’m finding young… Read more »