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Navigating the world of friendships can be challenging, and for many gay men, forming meaningful connections with other gay men comes with its own set of unique hurdles. Adam4Adam readers, we want to hear your stories and experiences: How do you make gay friends? Do you find it hard to form friendships within the gay community?
For many of us, finding a community where we feel understood and accepted is crucial. The gay community offers a space where shared experiences and mutual understanding can foster deep and lasting friendships. However, forming these bonds isn’t always straightforward.
Some common challenges faced when trying to make friends within the gay community include:
1. Social anxiety: meeting new people can be daunting, especially in a new city or environment where you don’t know anyone.
2. Navigating stereotypes: stereotypes and preconceived notions can sometimes create barriers to genuine connections.
3. Competition and comparison: the dating scene can sometimes spill over into friendships, where competition and comparison can undermine potential friendships.
4. Finding safe spaces: identifying spaces where you can comfortably meet and socialize with other gay men can be difficult.
Despite these challenges, there are many ways to form meaningful friendships within the gay community:
1. Social apps and websites: platforms like Adam4Adam offer opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals.
2. Community events: pride events, gay bars, clubs, and LGBTQ+ community centers can be great places to meet new friends.
3. Hobbies and interests: joining groups or clubs that align with your interests, such as sports teams, book clubs, or volunteer organizations, can help you find people with common interests.
4. Mutual friends: leveraging existing friendships to meet new people can often be a comfortable way to expand your social circle.
Adam4Adam readers, we want to know: how do you make gay friends? What strategies have worked for you, and what challenges have you faced? Do you find it harder to make friends within the gay community compared to other social circles? Share your stories, tips, and advice below to help others in the community navigate the sometimes-tricky terrain of forming friendships.
Yes, it can be. So many won’t even acknowledge you if you’re not almost their clone or super fucking hot. So many guys miss out on great friendships because they are absolute dicks.
I was just talking to a bro on here, who’s moving down here from Philly. We chatted about the better or safer areas to live, I told him, I love to make friends make with him, he started talking about he wants to lay his head in my lap! I don’t mind intimacy with friends, just not the physical kind, not ever with friends too much like incest, lol, anyway I’m not dealing with him, wish him luck here though. So, yeah, it’s pretty hard to have plutonic friendships with other gay men, it’s pretty sickening, actually. Bi-men, it’s different,… Read more »
Yeah, that guy was probably better off without your “plutonic” friendship anyway.
Mocking someone’s typo doesn’t make you look good
It wasn’t a typo. The A and the U aren’t even close on a keyboard. He’s just ignorant. As far as far it “not looking good” … save it for someone who gives a rat’s ass, sugartits.
You cannot be me; being ignorant, John, snap judgements, it’s ok, no harm at all.
you are not alone
I’ve noticed a pattern here. Are you alone, Zebra?
my way of agreeing with a prior blog that is my pattern
You’re right. I certainly can’t be you. Mostly because 1) I know how to fucking spell and 2) I know how to use punctuation.
Yes it does. It shows he is literate and cares about literacy.
It shows he’s a toxic person as are people who defend that behavior
I think I’m better off, he’s HIV+, thanks, lol.
So what is wrong with someone that has HIV? I’m dying to hear your bullshit response.
Excellent reply Eric. Can’t wait to hear his response. My beautiful, sweet niece got HIV from her down low boyfriend. She is a school teacher with a Masters Degree in reading literacy. To be compared to a narcissist don’t sit well with me at all. He used HIV+ and narcissist together to stress that both are disgraceful. She’s a very loving person. Glad she’s not ignorant!!!
Of course the trashy little C U Next Tuesday couldn’t respond.
HIV+ and by our convo; a narcissist, too, no thanks. Maybe you two could have go at it, lmao!
HIV, you say? Good. Social Darwinism at work. Go have him rawdawg you and earn yourself a Herman Cain Award. We already had enough clueless illiterates in here before you came along.
explains he constant infectivity within this room
So, you just wrote him off completely, just like that. Snap judgments are the other major problem.
. . . I “wrote him off” because I’m not desperate not stupid, I know, that game, “major problem” look in the mirror.
What you don’t know is how to punctuate a sentence. Reading whatever it is you’re attempting to write is actually more humorous than the content of the opinion itself – and that’s a pretty high bar. Congratulations.
I agree that Bi guys are often less complicated, but for a different reason. If something sexual happens, they can still do the friend things without being distracted, and tend not to break off because of it. But I never liked the old gay taboo against sex with friends, and when you said it was like incest, that is exactly the description some people used to use. That was left over from the days before apps, when jobs and freedom were at risk. Sec was opportunistic, random, and anonymous, and friend circles were small, so the risk of jealousy existed,… Read more »
I read your reply to point, sorry; look, I know gay men, I’m too old for that kind of game, I’ve had/known many friends throughout my life, in three regions of this country, in which I’ve lived.
Keep in mind, on here, he’s offered no face pic, he’s HIV+ . . . no! That was not a mistake on my part, thanks.
The fact that he is HIV+ is a reason that you don’t want to be his friend? Wtf does that have to do with friendship if you don’t want to fuck him? That’s another problem in the community, gay on gay crime, hatefulness and discrimination. If you just want to be plutonic friends his status should be the ABSOLUTE LAST thing that you bring up since you are so fucking “CULTURED”. You need to keep in mind that compassion goes a very long way and there is no point to continuously remind anyone that this human is positive. That’s very… Read more »
I hope he as an African-American, realize that discrimination is wrong on all levels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now, it seems like everyone is into incest, given all the incest porn videos, so that wouldn’t be a problem.
The Internet has made us all more connected, but also more poorly and weakly connected. Individuals have become used to communicating through short texts. Often those are poorly constructed grammar-wise and can be misinterpreted or misunderstood. Individuals, especially those who have been taught they are “special” or “entitled”, have difficulty with face-to-face, give and take, communications. We even now have people who practically live at home and in pajamas all day. Internet sites geared toward dating (Straight or Gay) have taught many to dismiss (swipe away) any individual that does not give them instant chemistry. Even worse is the common… Read more »
I agree Hunter. Well said!!
Excellent analogy there it’s ALL TRUE too – thank you!
We have become so impersonal with each other and often forget that there is a person behind the words on your screen. It’s way to easy to be rude, inconsiderate of others time, and just down right cold! I live in a rural area in Pima county and far too often am I rejected by default by distance! Not even a hello just a “too far” why? Because they are just saying that to a screen and forget there is a person here. It’s made me develop a strong dislike for the gay community here or lack there of. “A… Read more »
Yes it is because most want me… in fact only one gay guy I know who is around my age hasn’t tried to come on to me…it’s very hard for me to make gay guy friends.
What a joke u r
WOW….. everyone should have your problem… sans the egoism LOL
Meeting at pride events? No thanks I know who attends those
Why? The sexual element of desire or no desire interferes. Gay men are closed off, where straight men are usually open, so I have almost all straight friends. It’s a real problem.
Is so hard to make friends cuz I’m way too ugly, honey, only make friends with cute, should never make friends with an ugly, dassa big fat eternal NO NO!
I find to be a very daunting task, especially at my age. It’s sort of like if we’re not already friends, we probably won’t be. However, I’d like to make friends, but it always seems to turn into some type of sexual innuendo, in which I’m not necessarily always interested in. In DC is hard to find like-minded low-key gay dudes that like to golf, play tennis, hike etc. It’s always about going to some bar or the crew club or some type of orgy. I did that shit in my 20s.
There are social groups, LGBTQ+ community centers and/OR.. Home – PrimeTimers® of the National Capital Area (theprimetimersww.com)
My closest friendships, regardless of sexual orientation, have come about by circumstance. Sometimes you meet someone and things just click. In my own experience, the best way for me to make friends is to go on about my business and do the things that I enjoy doing. At least there’s a chance of meeting someone who has similar interests.
I agree with many of you about the pleasure of being a bottom. I totally enjoy the sensation of being penetrated by thick cocks stretching my anus. However, the guys I’ve been with normally use condoms or are unable to cum due to being older or with some health issues. But the one time that I received a huge load in me, it came from a younger guy. I was dripping for several hours after when I went home to my wife. It was so hot but have yet to experience that again. I am hoping to see the young… Read more »
WTF does that have to do with being friends with gay guys?
Wrong group!! Tried to erase it but was posted anyway
LOL, gotcha. I was like huh?
So yeah, there’s the same old smart alecky replies and guys getting snooty with those who could be our brothers. Some of you have been here years and been supportive, and many are several faceted personalities behind various names. However, THIS is a community online, and I see it outside of here in the LARGER community. It’s not okay to be real, share yourself, some of that is the meat market fantasy, but the older guys here should recall a time when it wasn’t quite safe to be out in the world, and when our own community was eating itself… Read more »
As a gay man I have come to the conclusion that it’s difficult to make gay friends without there always being some sort of sexual tension so I have found the best way for me to make gay friends is through the hookup apps. I have 2 categories when it comes to meeting up offline for a hookup the friend category which is for a failed hookup by either side or the fuck category. Usually the friend category starts out with the intent to fuck but ends up being just a good conversation and a mutual not gonna hookup but… Read more »
The Gay men I know that lean toward the stereotypical Out Loud Proud Fem Flamboyant are guys who are difficult to be friends with. The have large attention grabbing egos. They act as though the universe revolves around them.
The Gay men that I know that are more reserved with their sexuality are great guys I’m glad to have as friends, some casually and a couple with relationships that have much more depth.
Thankfully, the latter group outnumbers the former.
yes very hard
More like impossible
Well, if you don’t drink, and try to hang out with guys who do, they’re not much fun to talk to after the first drink. Nor do many guys have even one interesting thing to talk about. Youngsters have so little culture.
I think that making friends with gay people is tougher than making friends with people who are not gay. Too many gay men have this list made very, you must have to be their friend, date, lover, partner, FB, or FWB. The truth is many of them don’t meet their own requirements. Why the heck is so important to model gay friendships or other types of gay relationships on the relationships of heterosexuals? Many heterosexual relations are not happy and healthy for the individuals involved. Claiming you are just looking for friends, but in reality, you are looking for someone… Read more »
I have had gay and straight friends throughout my life. Friendships are complicated like relationships. Friendships in the gay community can be very toxic, which can lead to loneliness for many people. As I have gotten older, I am more alone than ever by choice, but I am not quite lonely if that makes any sense. I live in peace and serenity and stay away from the drama. Old queens are the worse. I’m holding on to my few and dearest friends that have been with me through thick and thin. They are the real deal and I truly appreciate… Read more »
If I separate my friends by sexuality, most of them are straight. Not an issue for me as I don’t want to have a friend based on his/her sexuality. I’ve never had a group of gay men as friends – we’ve never shared many common interests. Once, I tried a gay hiking group and it was awful. They all knew one another and there was endless gossip about what happened at the bar the previous night, who was sleeping with whom, another house renovation, and some fabulous vacation. And, of course, during the hike, “Where are we going for brunch?”… Read more »
Good response Eric!! I’m like you.