(Photo Credits: Krakenimages.com from Shutterstock)
So, I’ve read a pretty interesting question recently, and the thread is quite popular, too! The original poster (OP) asked, “Have you ever been in love? Like real love not hook up or crush?” He added, “What age were you and did it work out?”
Love is a complex and deeply personal experience that can leave us feeling both exhilarated and vulnerable. It’s a universal emotion that has inspired countless poems, songs, and works of art throughout human history. But how do we know if we’ve truly experienced it ourselves? Here are eight questions to ask yourself to help you determine if you have ever been in love.
1. Do you prioritize their happiness above your own? Love often involves a willingness to sacrifice and prioritize the well-being of your partner.
2. Can you be yourself around them? In love, we feel accepted and valued for who we truly are, flaws and all.
3. Do you miss them when they’re not around? Love creates a deep longing to be with the other person, even when they’re not physically present.
4. Do you feel a deep emotional connection with them? Love goes beyond physical attraction and involves a profound emotional bond.
5. Can you envision a future together? When you’re in love, you see your partner as a part of your future plans and goals.
6. Do you communicate openly and honestly with each other? Love thrives on trust, transparency, and open communication.
7. Are you willing to support them through the good times and the bad? Love means being there for your partner through life’s ups and downs, no matter what.
8. Do you feel a sense of peace and contentment when you’re with them? Love brings a sense of calm and fulfillment that can’t be found elsewhere.
Reflecting on these questions can help you gain insight into your own experiences with love. Whether you’ve been in love once, twice, or many times over, each experience offers an opportunity for growth, connection, and self-discovery.
Anyway, having said all that, here are some popular answers to this question: “Twice. Head over heels all-encompassing love, soulmates if such a thing existed. First died (together 4 years), married to the second (over 20 years),” one gay man replied.
Another shared, “I was 19 and I fell in love with a straight guy (of course), and we became best friends, played in a band together, and shared an apartment before he got married.” He added, “However, I didn’t know I was in love at the time. It wasn’t until years later and he moved on to other projects and no longer had time for me that I fell to pieces. It was like going through a divorce. That’s when I realized that I had been in love that whole time. And that I was probably gay.”
In addition, someone responded, “I’m still in love with my very first boyfriend: we’ve met 13 years ago, immediately fall in love with each other, and are still together (with every year being better and better).” While another one said, “Started dating my husband when I was 24 and we have been together for almost 25 years. I know it sounds sappy and corny, but he is the love of my life and my best friend.”
Meanwhile, there are also those who said they have never been in love yet ever like this one who replied, “No. I wonder if it’s possible. I sarcastically wonder if the world is collectively gaslighting me that it’s possible.” He added, “I never even let myself consider the possibility for so many years; now I’m at least out to myself but that’s so unfathomably far from being in love….”
Another interesting reply reads, “I don’t trust that feeling of liking somebody. Make me feel like a cringy creepy person thinking about one person all the time. Not good for my mental health. I’ve learned to kill it like a cockroach as soon as possible.”
Admittedly, love isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always end in happy endings either like the experience of this guy who shared, “Twice, and both times devastated me. It makes me hesitant to love again, because the heartbreak is so all-consuming and really disrupts my life.”
What about you, guys? Have you ever truly been in love? How did it go for you? Share with us your thoughts and stories below!
Yep, it was most beneficial, too, it really felt good until it didn’t; nothing last forever. Ultimately, I prefer to be as it is natural.
It’s always been safer, healthier, both on multiple levels.
Yes! Just wonder when my exes fell out of love with me.
I’m a 60 year old married bisexual man. Wife and I are both bi and together almost 40 years. I love my wife greatly but, over the course of years, I have fallen in love with two men. One was my best friend I explored with as a teen. The other is a current playmate who is also married. The first guy didn’t reciprocate my feeling but the second man does. My relationship with the second man has no impact on my marriage at all. And yes, she knows all about us and has met him and they liked each… Read more »
YOUR LIFE SOUNDS ++HORRIFIC++
That really, doesn’t sound too bad, actually!
I mean, you’re all bi- so really, automatically, you’re all on ‘that’ same page of understanding each other’s orientations. As long as, everyone is HONEST with each other, which is key, shit, at least you’re not entirely alone; although sometimes, just depending on the stress level; one is better off alone.
I agree. I’m always very up front and honest with the men I see as to my situation and my relationship with my wife is strong and stable. She knows that I’m never going to leave her for a man. As a couple, our sex drives are a bit of a mismatch; I want good sex much more often than she so she is happy I have other outlets.
Having been with a couple of guys who are in relationships, their emotional unavailability means they have nothing to give but their bodies, and it is demeaning to their new partners. We all deserve more than that. I have to wonder why their relationships became unsexed, if so, and how many of these couples only stay together for financial reasons?
I think that that’s a major problem (emotionally unavailable) with the majority of gay men; like a dog chasing its tail, a never-ending cycle of nobodies or (just supply) in many cases; leaves a very empty heart, if they ever had one that is.
And like the other point “financial reasons” hell, man, I don’t want a room or house mate.
“so spread it around guys!” As long you all DON’T SPREAD ANY STIs to others as well your wives – NO ONE deserve that.
Agreed! And I’ve met a couple like you and your wife. Amazing people. Agreed also that my relationship with long term FWBs does not impact my marriage. (bring on the hate mail). Human relationships are varied. Most are different from yours or mine or anyone else’s. My FWBs and I are like guys I could play poker with (pun?) or go hunting with or got to major sports event with or meet with because we like cars or guns or games. After my wife lost her interest in sex, I put the cards on the table “Divorce?”; she didn’t want… Read more »
First –
Love Yourself…
then…
you will be both the initiator & the recipient of love!
I fell in love with my ex during our relationship, and I fell hard. I was in love with him. He then saw the vulnerable side of me. Afterwards, the manipulation and mind games started. The relationship ended abruptly one evening in a nearly physical altercation.
Sounds narcissistic on his part, like he’s got or caught you, “in his web” of hell as “supply.”
How time has change I had a partner of 42 years everyday he would say I love you Everyday I would say Me too we got marries 9 years ago after that everytime we met someone he would say I want you to meet my Husband Bill He took sick in May of congestive heart failure I took him to the Cleveland Clinic where he was operated on and told he would be a new man by September We were home 5 days and he took sick again Right back in the hospital again right back at it again telling… Read more »
Bill:
As I replied to the last Blog you posted about your Ron,
“Instead of Ron being in front of you – He is now inside of you”.
Enjoy what you had as it was/is yours. Be at peace, Bill, it all that you can can be.
Kasper
Its hard to get over 42 years of memories but thanks
Bill –
Wasn’t trying to ignore the “Grieving Process,” I just wanted you to know that I
understood.
I am the last of a family of 8. I’ve buried 7 of my family already. It does get better –
whenever it comes. You will be alright – just give it time.
Kasper
That deserves a thumbs up, this reply.
Wow! You were very lucky, the two of you. He’s with you in spirit, very sorry for loss.
Lamar:
The only thing that changes is –
instead of being in front of you –
the person is inside of you. The love, however, does not change.
I was a white trash boy on the street in Portland Oregon, When I met my first long term lover. He had a boyfriend at the time, but after 3 days the boyfriend moved out and I moved in. We fucked like bunnies for years and started a business that became very successful. We lasted 8 years and then it just died out and we both moved on. I met my current husband of 30 years at the Watergarden bath house in San Jose. He is hot and smart, with a Phd from the Imperial Collage of London. He flys… Read more »
The first..A woman was in love with him. We were gay and together. If she couldn’t have him she was going to destroy the relationship. He refused to see it and she did. The second..when he had me in a headlock and dragged me across the kitchen floor..it was done. The third..was an alcoholic and did drugs..why is this such a problem in our community? There were many short term flings that didn’t amount to anything except being robbed of various things I.E. money, belongings etc. I am alone now and at least I have peace of mind. I remember… Read more »
Yes, I have. I much prefer that to the hook up scene which I find quite unappealing. It seems that the str8 world is not much different than the gay world in regards to the good ones becoming unavailable somewhat early in the life game.
That’s what I’ve said, on both points; there’s not much difference between str8’s and the gay world, except the obvious.
Taste? More like I love the FEELING of a pint of cum sloshing around in my stomach • especially after a gang bang deepthroat SUCK FEST
Love … it’s not one feeling. You can Love your work. You can Love your vehicle. You can Love your makeup. You can Love Target, Marshalls, Herod’s, 5th Avenue, Rodeo Drive. You can love your “cute sweater and scarf”. You can Love a family member. You can Love your pet. You can Love friends. You can Love Friends with Benefits. You can Love a partner. You can Love one individual above and beyond all others. So I love a lot of people and things. Do I personally want to be “truly in love” (as this blog topic prompts)? HELL NO.… Read more »
If so, it was never requited. Sad. Obsession with sex as sport or physical act shuts down the heart and obsession with looks makes one closed to love.
Yes, I one fell totally in love; I was 24. Long story short, when I told him, he said he wasn’t gay. I am not convinced of that to this day—I think it had more to do with his Irish Catholic upbringing. I have fallen in love to one extent or other many times, sometimes with guys, sometimes with women. Unfortunately for me, none was reciprocated. (The women who were interested in me were not desired by me.) About 12 years ago I had an affair with a guy that might have developed into really being in love, but alas,… Read more »
Keep in mind … for many reasons … for many guys, looking at another guy and saying “I love you” is difficult. More than difficult. It goes against how most guys are wired. And how guys have been wired since they evolved through a “NO Gay!” world to an “OK Gay” world”. Social/cultural “norms” that won’t go away quickly. One of my FWBs has pushed me on the issue. I can say it to him, and it’s true. I do. He’s THAT important to me. The more I do it, the easier it’s happening. I’d like to say it to… Read more »
Your point is quite true about guys having received their fundamental wiring in a “NO Gay” world not ever totally changing that legacy, even if one is presently living in the “OK Gay” world. There are intellectual truths and there are emotional truths; maturity involves the realization that they both can be true as well as being inconsonant; maturity also involves being able to live effectively in such a personal world.
…Does being “in love” with Cock and Cum count?
Kidding…sort of.
Being in love is wonderful…an enormous, and sometimes terrifying risk, but it’s pretty wonderful.
Sincerely, without something personal , and meaningful to risk there really is nothing to offer the other person…then it all comes crashing down, and most of us just try to make sure to send the child support payments out on time.
Can I go back with my first answer, “Cock and Cum”?
The late Sharon Redd said it best in her recording of In The Name Of Love. One of…if not the best recording from the 80’s RIP Sharon. You are missed.