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A year after our graduation, one of my college best friends started dating my ex-boyfriend. But not before talking to me. We dated freshmen year, so I told my friend to go ahead, that it was fine because I didn’t really like the guy and five years later, I still didn’t like him like that.

My ex even invited me to their dates (this happened twice). I went with them during the first invitation to show that I was okay with them being together (Looking back, I think I shouldn’t have done this, because what if my friend got jealous, with me being there? But what does it matter now, I think they broke up after a year).

The thing is that while it was no big deal for me, one of our friends made it sound like a big deal and he went on and on about how our friend should not have done that. He made it sound like there’s a dating code that said you can’t date your friend’s ex. Or maybe it would have been a big deal if I liked my ex in the first place, but I didn’t. Romantically, I mean, because we’re still friends to this date and that’s all we ever will be.

This brings us to my original question – would you date your friend’s ex? Is it ever okay to date their ex? If so, how did your friend react? Was he okay with you dating his ex? Conversely, has one of your friends dated an ex of yours? If so, how did you react? Were you okay with it?

Fast forward to today, if it were another ex, I probably would have reacted strongly. So, I guess my answer is, it depends on which ex we are talking about.

Anyway, dating within a close-knit circle of friends can be a tricky terrain to navigate. When it comes to dating your gay friend’s ex-boyfriend, the complexity of emotions and loyalties comes into play.

One might argue that friendships should take precedence over potential romances, emphasizing the importance of preserving meaningful connections over fleeting attractions. On the other hand, advocates for pursuing love wherever it may be found may argue that genuine connections between individuals are not always within our control.

However, it’s essential to approach such situations with sensitivity and open communication. Before deciding to embark on a romantic journey with your friend’s ex, consider the following:

  • Open Communication: Honest conversations with both your friend and their ex can provide clarity on their feelings and potential reservations.
  • Respect Boundaries: If your friend expresses discomfort or disapproval, it’s crucial to respect their emotions and reconsider pursuing the relationship.
  • Evaluate the Impact: Reflect on how your actions might affect your friendship and the dynamics within your social circle.

In love and friendship, each situation is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The key lies in approaching such matters with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to preserving the bonds that matter most. So, I guess the question in the end is: who do you love more, your friend or your boyfriend? Would you choose between the two? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!

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