(Photo Credits: G-Stock Studio from Shutterstock)
A year after our graduation, one of my college best friends started dating my ex-boyfriend. But not before talking to me. We dated freshmen year, so I told my friend to go ahead, that it was fine because I didn’t really like the guy and five years later, I still didn’t like him like that.
My ex even invited me to their dates (this happened twice). I went with them during the first invitation to show that I was okay with them being together (Looking back, I think I shouldn’t have done this, because what if my friend got jealous, with me being there? But what does it matter now, I think they broke up after a year).
The thing is that while it was no big deal for me, one of our friends made it sound like a big deal and he went on and on about how our friend should not have done that. He made it sound like there’s a dating code that said you can’t date your friend’s ex. Or maybe it would have been a big deal if I liked my ex in the first place, but I didn’t. Romantically, I mean, because we’re still friends to this date and that’s all we ever will be.
This brings us to my original question – would you date your friend’s ex? Is it ever okay to date their ex? If so, how did your friend react? Was he okay with you dating his ex? Conversely, has one of your friends dated an ex of yours? If so, how did you react? Were you okay with it?
Fast forward to today, if it were another ex, I probably would have reacted strongly. So, I guess my answer is, it depends on which ex we are talking about.
Anyway, dating within a close-knit circle of friends can be a tricky terrain to navigate. When it comes to dating your gay friend’s ex-boyfriend, the complexity of emotions and loyalties comes into play.
One might argue that friendships should take precedence over potential romances, emphasizing the importance of preserving meaningful connections over fleeting attractions. On the other hand, advocates for pursuing love wherever it may be found may argue that genuine connections between individuals are not always within our control.
However, it’s essential to approach such situations with sensitivity and open communication. Before deciding to embark on a romantic journey with your friend’s ex, consider the following:
- Open Communication: Honest conversations with both your friend and their ex can provide clarity on their feelings and potential reservations.
- Respect Boundaries: If your friend expresses discomfort or disapproval, it’s crucial to respect their emotions and reconsider pursuing the relationship.
- Evaluate the Impact: Reflect on how your actions might affect your friendship and the dynamics within your social circle.
In love and friendship, each situation is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The key lies in approaching such matters with empathy, understanding, and a commitment to preserving the bonds that matter most. So, I guess the question in the end is: who do you love more, your friend or your boyfriend? Would you choose between the two? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Yikes, I not sure, because there are very rare circumstances where it could be the real thing, you know, but ordinarily, no
“Dating” for me means conducting interviews for the next Prince-Charming/Long-Term-Relationship/Life-long Partner. I’m an FWB guy, not looking for Prince-Charming/Long-Term-Relationship/Life-long Partner.
Have several FWBs. Many of us have connected over the years, but none of us are seeking a Prince-Charming/Long-Term-Relationship/Life-long Partner. We even connect with other guys who some of us have met but don’t anymore for one reason or another. Ex’s so to speak.
An Ex for me is just that. Done, over, finished, no ownership. While I wouldn’t lie if asked, I wouldn’t inform/ask for permission to meet either if I knew in advance a guy was someone’s Ex.
“Love ’em & Leave ’em”?
Clarification … if I knew for sure the Ex had lied to the friend or stolen property from him or had concealed a truly dark issue from his past or done something heinous, of course I’d not pursue time with him. I’m not attracted to assholes.
No, that’d be too much like a recycled bf.
“Recycled = Well-Broken In”!
:Interchange Parts”?
“Globalization”?
Why not “Boyfriends”?
Already well broken-in!
Easy “Ingress & Egress”!
“Tried & True”!
I found a date for you. It’s a woodchipper. Gimme your address and I will send it.
Actually, I contacted Woodie Woodpecker and he would like to meet you!
Actually, Woodie is waiting for you in “The Tabonga Tree”.
Good Idea Eric…LOL
Rudes:
Why don’t you contribute a good idea or two on this Blog LOL
Dude, trust me. If I thought anyone would donate, I’d have started a GoFundMe years ago. Along with a nice, fluffy pillow to muffle the sounds.
I think we could make a fortune from a GFM for that!
Of course it depends how much time lapsed since their breakup. But if the relationship is truly over, I wouldn’t have a problem dating either one. I don’t ask permission of either, of course there must be some kind of mutual interest or commonality before dating. That’s true of any date.
Doesn’t it really depend on what kind of an “ex?” If he is my friend’s ex-FWB, then absolutely I’d f*ck him. Then the friend and I can compare notes on the guy’s performance in bed with a whole lot of “did he do this?” “did he do that?” Could be quite enlightening.
This is a tough one, but in the end, I would say yes, depending on circumstances. Also, sometimes exes remain friends. My now ex and I were together 16 years. We’ve remained best friends in the 12+ years we’ve been divorced. If paths aligned and he went out with someone I did, I would wish him the best. It’s harder for gay men, as our choice of partners is cut by approximately 90% right off the bat. Add into the equation that some guys are strictly top and strictly bottom, so cut another 30-40% right there. If I was interested… Read more »
Simple and Truthful… I would,,, why not ?
Cut & Dry?
The only guy’s opinion that I will ever listen to, is MY OWN!! So, if I want to”date” another guy, if says “yes”, my experience has been to not let my former partner even know. That’s unless we both want to have a”threesome” and they both have huge horsecock fuckmeat, then, I will get to feeling like a piggy whore!! My life’s vocation comes to bear….
hummm….it would really depend on why they broke up. Cuz…if a guy would cheat to be with ya, he will cheat on ya. Otherwise….I’d have no problem dating or even LTR with a friends ex.
I did and was with him 42 years