(Photo Credits: Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)
Hey, guys! Often, I’d read comments from tops about how their boyfriends can’t cum while bottoming, and then they’d ask: is this really the norm? This being said, are you a bottom? If so, how true is this for you, and are you okay about not finishing while being penetrated?
We scoured the internet for what gay men had to say on the matter, and in this thread posted recently, the original poster confessed:
“I’m (for the most part) a bottom and I actually prefer not to finish during the whole thing, especially not before the top does. It’s kind of weird but I sort of log in the memories of the whole experience, then when I’m alone I get off on those very memories; taking my time to finish on my own.
If I were to finish first I’d feel totally bummed straight after and the mood would dissolve like cotton candy in water. So… am I a rarity on this one?”
One guy replied, “I’m fine with not cumming. My satisfaction is getting my partner to cum. The feeling of his load entering me is what satisfies me. If he wants to help, fine. If not, I’ll jerk off later.”
Another guy said, “Tops don’t always ‘finish’ if that is what you are calling it. And I am okay with that. Many bottoms find it disconcerting though, as if it was on them.” He added, “I judge sex based on how much I enjoyed it, not whether or not I cum.”
In addition, another top commented, “I’m a top and MOST of the time the bottom doesn’t cum. Sometimes I offer to ‘give a hand’ and it’s usually turned down.” Further, he said, “It’s a win for me. After I cum, I’m usually checked out.”
Meanwhile, a guy who confessed that he’s a bottom explained why he prefers not to cum while bottoming. He said, “I’m a bottom who prefers the top to finish first because I can’t deal with a dick afterward because it starts hurting later. I’ve heard this is prevalent for other bottoms as well.”
Lastly, a guy advised sex partners and couples to just, simply talk, and tell each other what they want or need. “It depends on the guy, some are happy not to and others want the top to finish them off.” He added, “Everyone is an individual and the best thing to do is communicate before the act to find out what each person wants / needs.”
Having said all that, what about you, guys? Are you a bottom? Do you prefer to finish before the top as well? As for tops, do bottoms not really cum most of the time? Do you talk to your partner about what you want or need or prefer in bed? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
I am vers so I do top but lately I have been a bottom and I enjoy my partner to have all the fun, I love him being deep in me and he and I enjoy that he fucks for a while and I will than suck him and he is back inside of me. He cums for a two sometime three days stay with me and we just have fun fucking, We are both older and he hardly ever cums unless I give him a good blow job. As for me I don’t mind at all in cumming. We… Read more »
A rather benign question?
Some do & Some don’t?
It’s all elementary.
There was one guy I would top and he would ride me facing me and without even touching himself, all of a sudden he would unload all over my stomach and chest. I just felt like I was doing it perfectly for him to cum that way. Other than that I don’t top too often and I don’t bottom at all, but I just want both of us to be satisfied.
I’m a bottom and it generally depends on the top I’m with. Some tops I enjoy making them come first because if I finish first it’s usually uncomfortable for me till they finish. But some tops know how to make me come hands free before them and that’s amazing, but I don’t mind if I don’t come.
Only in bad porn movies. Don’t we all hate it when the bottom fakes it with loud moaning but we can see he is not even hard LOL
You don’t have to be hard to enjoy taking it… sometimes it’s actually more accurate if someone is totally soft because that means we’re not focusing on us we’re giving in completely to focus on our ass for the top to do what they want with it…..
I call BS! If your dick goes soft, this means it is not pleasurable and you are not excited. This is hard wired in the brain. I would start seriously think why you would expose yourself to potential STDs when you don’t even feel any actual pleasure out of it, as your dick-indicator goes down.
I had a radical prostatectomy for cancer and at best get a bit firm, but never erect. My surgeon explained that half of all people get orgasm without erection. Women and some men. I prefer to have my orgasms alone as urine will come out. No prostate gland -> no man mustard.
I still enjoy the fullness and intimacy of bottoming.
I am always soft when getting fucked. I am sometimes hard when getting rimmed but usually go soft yet I cum so hard, a full body shaking and trembling orgasm if I am getting a great rim job. I do not cum much if at all. It is an internal orgasm that is highly erotic and intense that lasts for 20 seconds or longer. Getting rimmed is my favorite sexual act. Best orgasm I ever experienced.
I disagree. Most of my bottom go soft when taking my thick cock. It’s an anatomy thing having to do with pressure on the pelvic floor nerves. Some stay rock hard the entire time and the rarest is the guys who cum hands free, hard or soft, from the prostate pounding. Those are my favorites!
Huh? I have cum while totally soft, and I have fucked guys that came, while soft, just from getting fucked. Sounds like the sex you’re having is lame.
Sounds like you have ED.
Coming from a guy that is completely unfuckable. That’s rich.
I’m a bi bottom and when I first started bottoming I would always slow the rhythm down to keep from cumming, it was so easy then. Now it depends on the top and how horny I am.
On several occasions, I have came just as the top did,, when he was getting soft it just hit me in the right spot for me to cum.
Overall, I don’t cum, because it would drain me and the sensation would be to much to handle, so i prefer not to and let the top cum
Thank you for this helpful article. I’m only a few years into being with guys (bit of a late bloomer), and landed in an exclusive FWB a couple years ago. While I am largely a top, my friend is a longtime vers-bottom who enjoys having orgasms during our sex. While it takes him some time climbing the hill, we are both rewarded with delightful orgasms. I noticed that he is always hard while being penetrated. I’m also hard when I’m being penetrated. We both are orgasmic, and feel that the most satisfying orgasms cum from cumming with our partner inside,… Read more »
Where do you think the phrase “got the cum fucked out of me” comes from? Of course a bottom can cum while getting fucked!
So i am a bttm.I never cum when i am being topped.i always feel it is about the other guy
besides my cancer took care of my ability to cum. But again i feel it is about the other guy.As long as he is satisfied that is all that matters in my case
I try to always cum at the same time or after the top. Cumming with a cock in your ass is heaven.
I’m 100%bottom and I love to cum while being fucked! When I get together with my regular FB, his shooting his huge load into me often sets me off and I cum right away or within a few minutes while we his still inside of me stretching me with his really big cock! If I don’t cum, I’m fine with that too and will go home and jerk off, but I never leave his place unsatisfied.
This isn’t normal at all. If a bottom can’t cum hands free then he is likely on drugs or recovering from drug abuse. Unless the top only lasts like 5 minutes. 15 minutes into it the bottom should cum and again after 30 minutes and again when the top cums. As a top who has never used drugs, I gave experienced this with hundreds of bottoms.
You have made hundreds of guy cum after 15 minutes and then again after 30 then again when you cum? This isn’t normal at all. If what you say is true, you need to get a patent on your technique and then teach everyone how to do this.
Versatile, increasingly seeing if bottom will work because it’s increasingly difficult to get enough sustained lead in the pencil to be the top. I had a good massage with a very good happy ending in Thailand recently where the top was able to do it all for me by hand during the performance (that one’s a keeper!) Though more often than not it doesn’t happen, though in checking afterward there was a lot of precum so maybe it almost did. It’s hard to focus on him and also me. Anything extra in the midsection is also a barrier.Though making it… Read more »
As a total bottom, I preferred to cum after he finishes fucking me. Recently I was on my back legs spread wide and he was balls deep inside me. He started stroking me and I asked him not to make me cum. He didn’t stop and made me cum anyway. He said he liked the way I clamped down on his cock when I came. Now I enjoy it when he makes me cum when deep inside me.
My partner and I are both versa-top guys. Everytime we have sex we both nut. We are attracted to each other and when we decide to have sex, our intent is to nut. I don’t understand why a person would have sex and not nut. When I get horny, my goal is to nut. After I nut, my mission is complete. I have met some bottom guys that just wanted to satisfy me and had no desire to nut during the session.
I’m a sub bottom and I never cum when I’m getting dicked down. I don’t really even like being touched on my dick or jacked off by my top partner.
I’ll Jack later but yeah i get off from the top fucking me and pleasing and serving him.
I’m a DL sub, bottom as well and I don’t like my dick to be touched either by myself or my partner,,but I cum really easy when being fucked,,, in fact just being touched by a top and knowing I’m fixing to get fucked I can feel myself about to cum. I can cum while having my ass ate,,,, I’ve also came while sucking him off hands free,,,, But I would loose the feeling while getting fucked and want to stop,,but my partner would not be satisfied,,,so I would do what a bottom suppose to do and lay there and… Read more »
Yes i’m a bottom ,love when my top cums in me firstit’s the joy of getting him off an i have no problem if he wants to help me afterwards get off if not i’ll get off later
Sometime when he’s on top, his belly rubs the underside of my dick and balls while he is fucking me and it makes me cum. I don’t mind if I cum first. He can keep fucking for as long as it takes.
I bottom for a couple of my buds, Not every time we meet, semi-regularly however our moods and the winds blow. Both of them usually make me cum first by any one of several methods. No rule here. It’s just what they’ve done. Maybe they feel it’s the courteous thing to so since they’ll be cumming shortly. And then they move onto topping me. Sometimes they cum during topping. Other times they ultimately cum by either of us jerking them off. There’s really no hard fast rules or pattern. Sex should be easy and enjoyable, not something done by a… Read more »
Hunter:
An obvious “Sexual Democrat” who allows his boys to “Cum As They May”!
Son of a gun if there’s no profile for “Hung & Fun”.
Make your post under your profile name so it has a spine.
and you a obvious republican to conservative
As are many LGTBQ+ individuals who see that clearly the Democratic Liberal Progressives, regardless of their “talk, talk, talk” aren’t doing anyone including LGTBQ+ individuals any real good. Current polls certainly aren’t saying anything positive about where the country is going and the current Administration part in the downturn. That Party, too, hasn’t been winning the majority of elections.
Fortunately, the majority of US Citizens still believe it is the right of every citizen to vote for whoever they believe will lead the country in the right direction.
Almost spit out my coffee at the silliness of this question. “Bottoms normally never ..” We’re talking Gay guys, right? Guys infamous for wanting, expecting, demanding the world meet their own fickle, special, unique, entitled wants and desires. “Normal? “Never? Two words that are not in the Gay lexicon. Some Bottoms won’t want to cum during sex. Some will want to. Some won’t care how it ends. And as has been said, communication is critical to sexual satisfaction: open your mouth and talk before inserting a cock into it or opening your ass before the same. Or having someone open… Read more »
Quite the contrary for me at least. Last sex I had, my guy sat on my c*ock cowboy style and he reached a point of orgasm, leaned forward and shot in my mouth. Jackpot! Just as I like it. Don’t understand why so many bottoms have these rules and “bylaws” of what a so-called “good bottom” must do and not do – seems silly to me and on the occasions I take it up the a**, I sure as hell don’t hold back.
I’m a total bottom and for me it really just depends on what my top wants. For me I just want to pleasure my top and find joy in him finishing inside me. I’ve had some tops who prefer for me to cum, it helps them finish so they usually reach around as they are in me and give me a hand until I finish, then they usually finish in me right after. For me personally I would rather not finish before the top, and if I don’t finish then I prefer just to wait till they leave then I… Read more »
I’m mostly a bottom but occasionally I’ll top if a guy turns me on that way. From my bottom perspective, I almost never cum when being fucked. I think alot of that comes from most tops not being aware of or worrying about pleasing their bottm boy. As for cumming while on bottom, it has happened to me several times but it’s definitely not the norm. I really don’t mind if I don’t cum because I get most of my joy from pleasing my guy. Sometimes I’ll cum first during a 69 but I never let that stop me from… Read more »
I rarely cum when my bf tops me, but when he finishes he strokes my balls and makes out with me while I jo until I cum.
I don’t think I’ve ever needed to cum. I love the sensation of him inside me and that’s what I want most. The actual act of ejaculating isnt, at least it isn’t for me.
All bottom here, I can and sometimes do cum while getting fucked. Just depends on my mood and how close I think my top is. If I think he is a long way off yet I will sometimes choose not to cum because I can be extra sensitive after I cum. I can still hold on and let my top finish but it is not enjoyable in the same way that it is before I cum.
I’m a bottom and it’s a 50-50 split for me. I genuinely enjoy watching and feeling my top cum. That being said he can finish me off and keep going all he wants. It’s generally the experience of the moment.
I sometimes cum when getting fucked. If we’ve been making out and sucking it is more likely. I don’t care though, getting my partner off is what I focus on. I want him to want to come back for more
I generally do not. But, for me, it is about pleasing. I get off getting the top off.
I am a bottom and about 90% of the time I never cum while have sex with a top. I prefer it, my satisfaction is him having the best hardest orgasm possible. I usually take care of my self later and finger my hole with his cum as lube… It’s the best!
Im a bottom and having my dick stimulated takes away from the feeling of my guy’s dick inside me. I can have more amazing orgasms without ejaculation from my guy just fucking me. If a top focuses on my dick and I ejaculate , it ceases to be pleasurable for me. I would rather have an anal orgasm than 10 penile orgasms. My top will get his. I don’t ever concern myself with that.
I’m a bottom and I’ve found that if I cum while while being topped, I usually tap out. I prefer till the top is finished.
I usually tap out myself.and my partner would usually stop,, but now its to the point where he ignores it and keep going and during the process of him being the dominant man that he is it turns me on and i end up coming again with him,,and even sometimes it gets to the point where I’m drained and want to tap out ,, but then I realized I’m there for his enjoyment and to satisfy him,, so I just let him have it til he’s content ,it’s a turn on for him when I submissive to him
No one has answere, apparently, not a good question.
Father, this Blog operates under a process where all posts are moderated before release to ensure they meet Community Standards. This usually results in a wait of a anywhere from a few hours to over a day for responses to be posted. Most Blogs allow responses to be posted immediately and then publicly moderate those that are in violation of Community Standards, often starting with a stern warning to the offending post and leading to the poster being banned if the behavior persists. It would be great for posters if the Blog would function as other popular sites do and… Read more »
What the heck are either of you talking about?
There seems to be no rhythm nor reason to the length of time between you posting and how many days it take for them to getting around to potting it.
As I write, there are some 44 responses. Many say they do cum. A good number say they could but prefer not to. The rest can’t or work it out so they don’t cum until after the Top has cum and is done.
At the end of the day, another Blog question that tries to divide Gay guys into either/or, left/right, black/white when they as a group are diversified.
Total bottom here and I prefer if a top is the only one that cums. I feel I am there to please and serve him in his pleasures.
I used to feel the same way until he stroked me and made me cum while he was balls deep inside me. He’s done that the last two times he fucked me. He said he likes the way I clamp down on him when I cum. Now I enjoy cumming for him since I know it makes him feel good. I asked him if he’ll do it the next time he fucks me and let me spread my cum all over his cock then slide it back inside me. I can’t wait!!!
What a turn off that is! The more guys I meet, the more common it is and like I said, total turn off. Cumming together is the only way! It’s a turn on to the top to see his bottoms white load on his belly, that makes him want to cum with him. What a sad thought that it is happening period! When I was young, bottoms would ALWAYS cum first, then the top. Poppers, Porn, Meth, Party? PLEASE! If You need drugs to make you horny get off? We are NOT a match.
I’m a bottom and I prefer to cum with the top inside of me. It seems to often be a turn-on for the top when my derriere starts to spasm. Both of us cumming at the same time is a real treat.
I’m mostly a bottom (toys and dick) and for me I don’t like to cum. I get my satisfaction out of the act of being a hole and the actual activity many times I’ve more anally orgasmed where I feel like similar to cumming but my ass just feels amazing and that’s normally like 1-2 times while the back/forth and in/out. Many times even just sucking I won’t cum because if I finish I personally just am done I don’t wanna get you off I don’t wanna touch it or have it in me in anyway. So I prefer to… Read more »
As a bottom, I have discovered it is possible to to Orgasm without ejaculating! I call it a body orgasm it is not centered in the penis but i feel it through out the torso. it usually takes a top to take his time get to know your body and all its erogenous zones. because he has to stimulate multiple zones at once. Penetration is definitely one of them. well, at least the prostate is the strongest of them. in fact I have experience the multiple body orgasms. Yes it is possible for men to have a multiple orgasm. I… Read more »
Getting rimmed and my crack and ass eaten and soaked gives me the trembling and shaking full body internal orgasm with very little if any ejaculation. Intense as fuck…
I guess I enjoy the entire experience and Always want to please my top. I do cum like crazy when we are embraced in a pleasure ride with each other. And, mostly hands free. When He fills my insides with his cum I usually come again with him. I do get really turned on feeling a hard cock inside me and it is very difficult for me to hold back. Always an extraordinary experience. So, Yes. I do cum when being fucked. Every time. And I Love it.
The older I get, the harder it is to get myself off in general. While I used to enjoy getting off when the top was still inside of me after he came, getting to that point isn’t always possible. Sometimes I need a 2-3 hour break, then I’ll shoot like a geyser.
It depends on how the guy topping me fucks. If he hits that magic prostate spot I’ve been known to start spraying cum hands free. Not all tops can do that.
I never cum before my top does. I lose the pleasure of being fucked after I cum. Once he cums i like him to stay inside me and either jerk myself of have him help until I cum.
I’m coming either way. Usually if I go first. the next few minutes by body is convulsing.. I’m trying to stay down not curl up, while he still going. feels good Being used. Most cum right after I go by 5min then you got to get up
If I cum after him he’s usually still up in there and wants to think that’s he why I’
m dripping.
I am an older bi bottom– which means I top my wife and bottom for my man. At my age I very rarely cum as a top these days. But as a bottom I almost have never been able to climax. I do have remarkable involuntary muscle spasms in my ass on occasion when everything is just right and my partner is especially deep (he’s 10″). He used to really worry about my not cumming and really worked hard at it– I just kept telling him it doesn’t usually work like that for me and that I prefer to feel… Read more »
This is off subject,,but being bi and being a bottom and being married,,I’ve had two prostate exams and my wife has went with me both times,,it’s usually the Dr and three other guy in there,, like myself I get fucked regular by my partner and he’s 9.5 ,,and I know it’s noticeable by the Dr, do anyone ever wonder while you’re out and under anesthesia what is being said and do you think the Dr, wonder’s if your wife knows cause he’s the one that’s talks to here afterwards,,, I know he may not tell her but I really didn’t… Read more »
My first experience with a top is when he came in me, I was face down, he rolled us both over and he jerk me off until I came, he didn’t appreciate the fact that I shot my come over my head an into his eyes. I’ve came a lot before my tops have, and it feels like I’m being raped if they don’t stop doing what they’re doing to me…
I am a bottom and actually I love to cum when I bottom. I love how it feels when a top is in me as I cum, and then I’m all for my top to finish me off by cumming in me.
From this discussion, it seems a lot of bottoms don’t know what a real orgasm is or can’t get one and rationalize it that it isn’t necessary because it “makes them less of a bottom”. Something like married women in the 1950 that never had an orgasm … Yes you can certainly come with a soft dick from prostate milking but it is stages below a proper orgasm with a hard dick. And don’t tell me the fake loud moaning guys in porn that have no erection are actually “excited” cause there is also a good porn where the bottoms… Read more »
As a sub bottom, I prefer to cum after the top, and I welcome help from the top, especially if he wants to jack me or suck my tits while I jack off. But I can get off before getting fucked and still take a dick. It still feels good, but it’s just better if I haven’t cum yet. I’m often soft while getting fucked and it’s hard for me to get off then because I’m focused on what the top is doing. All that being said, I used to be able to cum at the same time as the… Read more »
I am a bottom. Most of the time I cum while being fucked; almost always hands free. I like to be on my back the top pulling and holding my legs, hips tight preventing him from pushing me away. Guaranteed to be working my prostate and I will cum a gusher. Seeing the results of his work and feeling me clinch down on his cock only makes him work me harder until I feel him cum as well. My cock may be too sensitive to touch; my ass welcomes more.
I am a total bottom. For me sex is more about pleasing my partner. I also get off on being used by my tops and letting them derive pleasure from my body. So, I like it a bit rough at times. I like facials and deep throating. Spankings are cool. And, most of the time I do not get off. I think Ive had 2 tops that actually made me cum by intercourse. I do have one top that enjoys sucking me off after he has finished