(Photo Credits: Mikhail Nilov from Pexels)
Are you a bottom? If so, exactly how often do you encounter this kind of question?
I see this often online, in fact I saw it pretty recently which is why we are bringing this up with you today.
Anyway, the gay man who brought this up said, “When talking about sex with others, and I reveal I’m a bottom I’m sometimes posed with the question if I’m a good bottom?” Further, he said, “I don’t bottom often, and don’t top. The times I have bottomed I assume went well, I enjoyed it and I’m sure the top did too. But what makes a good bottom?”
One guy in particular replied, and we quote:
- Having good cleaning out routine and knowing your body.
- Knowing how to relax and making it easier to get penetrated.
- Being able to take dick deep and working with your body.
- Working with your partner, and not being a dead starfish unless both of you are into that.
- Having the stamina to not tap out early.
- Being able to ride the top, and not just take it in passive positions.
- Knowing how to contract and release your ass to provide more stimulation to the top.
- Being knowledgeable and on top of your game when it comes to safety practices.
Most of this comes with self-exploration, confidence (both with knowing your ass is not dirty and having the confidence to take dick) and practice.
Meanwhile, another guy said, “A good bottom is only as good as the top that’s fucking him to be honest. I’ve been with bottoms who are all talk and then when it comes down to it they lie there like a dead fish and can never just relax themselves.” He added, “On the flip side when I’ve bottomed I’ve had guys who just drill into me like they have a bus to catch in 20 minutes. I’m normally quite accommodating but if you’re just violently thrusting into me it’s going to hurt and I will request a time out!” Read the thread in full here.
Having said all that, what do you tell the tops who ask you this question? Do you agree with the men above? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
“A Willing Hole For A man’s Pole”
“A Slave To The Penis”
“An Inner Sanctum For The Pole”
The “Raison ‘d Etre” Of Existence”
“Genetically Disposed”
The “Purpose For Birth And Design”
All-Of-The-Above?
Several-Of-The-Above?
Few-Of-The-Above?
or
At Least, One-Of-The-Above?
A good bottom or a good top, each can be described by a few key words: honest, attentive, understanding, adaptable, realistic, respectful and self-respecting. I used to bottom, anally, now I mainly top, if it goes there. I expect a bottom to be relaxed, and that means first, not worried about an accident. If he isn’t trying to keep things in, he can relax and have easier entry. He won’t be tense, a feeling which is contagious. Confident or not, a top will sense it and will wonder if there’s just no compatibility. That will carry over to how thw… Read more »
Lmao, that’s never a quandary for me, I’m a very large/big masculine dread-locked, edgy type of “colored dude” they automatically, “bottom.”
That’s not racist at all.
No, not on my part, just sayin’ it like it is.
Should A4A ever create a similar thread regarding “What makes a good top”, the above post appears to have the potential to serve as a six-factor prime example of what does NOT make a good top.
Lmao! That’s “NOT” what they told me.
Just my kind of man.
There’s quite a lot of things to consider when it comes to qualifying as a “good bottom”.1 is dependent on the scene,or the crowd that the bottom is part of.The more extreme,fetishist bottomwill very likely be expected to do things/perform acts a more vanilla btm would not.And approval,high praise from 1 partner may draw the exact opposite from another.As in every aspect of life,versatility is key if a bottom is not involved in an exclusive relationship.Good hygeine/anal upkeep is I’d say the only factor that remains the same regardless of the rest.Neglect there can/will cause much ugliness,unpleasantness.You definitely need to… Read more »
What does it mean to be a good bottom?
Being physically clean, having a clean apartment, being in the mood, having condoms and lube available, being physically attracted to a top, knowing the top’s HIV status, trusting the top, engaging in foreplay with the top, having time to adjust to the top’s cock, encouraging the top’s desires, stimulating the top’s cock, taking the top’s cock in different positions, helping the top cum, cleaning up the top’s cock, thanking the top, and inviting the top to fuck again.
If the word “top” above is changed to “playmate” and “fuck” is changed to “play”, that’s how we all should be.
If you consider yourself a bottom then you are automatically a good bottom, because you are being your best version of a bottom. It’s a silly question. What self-respecting bottom is going to say he’s a bad bottom? Despite the labels the bottom is in control as shown by the guy who would call a time out or use a safe word. It’s a question of self care. It’s all role play because we are all of value. As for cleaning out I don’t really do it because it’s unhealthy and I’m usually naturally clean. No shit!?! I think that’s… Read more »
While the article includes a substantial list of desirable qualities found in a good bottom, personally as a top, l seek out bottoms with intense spontaneity who aren’t in a rush. Additionally l think the most important characteristic in a great bottom Vs. a good bottom, is one who understands the power of the penis and his relationship to it. Unlike a top who is rewarded with a release of cum, a great bottom is instead rewarded in the knowledge of a job well done in feeling his tops cock swell and hot wet man lava jetting into his voids… Read more »
I got hard just reading your last paragraph. There is no question about it… I am definitely a bottom. Haha.
Another silly question. It’s not a question of a “good bottom;” rather a complement of a good top and a good bottom, i.e., chemistry. No matter how big my dick might be or how great a top I think I am, if I have no chemistry with the bottom, it won’t work for either of us. That said, what doesn’t make a good bottom is a whiney, pushy (“Let’s do this position” or “Can I do…?” or “I don’t like…”), etc. Thanks, but I don’t need any direction. Or an unresponsive/lazy bottom (a dead fish in bed), or the worst… Read more »
I just think that a “good bottom” should be choosy about who they bottom for, firstly; personally, I think he should be masculine; not muscled and feminine, and yeah, clean ‘it’ first. Now as someone who would be more “experienced-seasoned,” look for a steady/lover. Be sensible, not just “flying by the seat of your pants” so to speak. Keep in mind, there are and do exist “tops” who would like a “steady” so maybe you should, too, learn to use your ass muscles if your
not that tight, just sayin’.
Being prepped and responsive is important. But also not begging the guy to give you his load when he’s just gotten his groove.
Im a very masculine DL bottoms,,when I’m with a woman I’m very dominant cause I know that what a woman wants in a man,,,and I also know that a top wants a submissive bottom,,,so when I with a real man,,when I say real man I mean a 100% dominant top,, all I want to do is please him let him have his way with me,,him letting me suck his dick or him fuckin me til he’s satisfied ,,,I just want to be there for him,,,and that means even getting out of bed with the ole lady if he calls,,,,I feel… Read more »