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Was there ever a time in your life when you’ve been celibate, guys? If so, what’s the longest period you’ve gone without sex? Moreover, what’s the reason why you decided to practice celibacy? Was it “involuntary?” And when you say you’ve been celibate, did you stay away from sexual contacts of all kinds, kissing and holding hands included, or did you only stop having sexual intercourse?
Anyway, we’re asking because we stumbled upon this thread on Reddit where the original poster (OP) was asking readers this question:
It’s been 8 months for me and I don’t know if it is depression or just my standards that got abnormally high, I don’t enjoy hookups anymore, they’re not rewarding to me, I am seeking real connection and that shit is so hard to find but I am still hopeful.
One guy revealed, “Almost five years.” A lot of men said something close to it, like this one response: “Five years and then another seven months.”
In addition, another guy said:
I don’t know. 6 months? 8 months? 13? Not really interested in hookups anymore either, and I don’t think its depression. I’ve just had enough, they all are more or less the same and generally kind of disappointing, and it’s just not worth my time. Sex is fine but there are so many other things I also like doing that I don’t need someone else for. So I’ll probably wait until I’m dating again at this point.
But what do experts say about celibacy? Reportedly, a recent study about the hookup culture revealed that celibacy has been on the rise since the year 2000, and it means “no partner sex at all,” not to mention it’s happening “in all age groups,” too.
Of course, there is another side to it says Psychology Today, and it’s that a separate study found that “the group most likely to hook up with strangers” was the young gay men. In addition, it revealed that among the gay respondents, “two-thirds of hookups involved oral or anal intercourse.”
But overall, there’s been an increase of 31% on celibacy from 2016 to 2018, clearly it’s before the pandemic, and we all know what happened during these past two years.
Having said all that, how true is this study for you, guys? Are you, like some of the gay men on Reddit, also abstaining from sex? Why or why not? Or are you more like the gay men on the study about the hook up culture today? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
I broke my Left Wrist a few years ago. I was not ambidextrous then, and so, without the help of my favorite hand, I could not find release; relief or relaxation! Necessity-is-the-mother-of-invention and so, I had to repurpose my Right Hand to perform the survival technique! Now, of course, a few years later…my left wrist is healed and fully capable of performing its many functions. However, since I had to repurpose my Right Hand, it can and does step-in on rare occasions when I need a change-of-grip! Additionally, a few ago, too, I required some dental work and hence, my… Read more »
Right wrist … Twice. Glad Team B stepped up to the plate!
I’ve never seen so many hyphens each one of which was inappropriately used. Congratulations.
While your commentary was not inappropriate; It wasn’t contributory!
However, it increased synapses and that is always a good contribution!
You better correct your use of upper and lower case before the style police cite and fine you! When they do make sure your reply ends every sentence with an exclamation point! It will drive them insane!!!!!
I didn’t know the A-4-A blog Comments-Section had a style-guide. Does the style-guide restrict the use of an em dash or comma before a subordinate-clause? My favorite words are “adverbial,” “adjectival,” and “parenthetically.” In a conversation, if a friend or coworker refers to 12 “pm” or 12 “am,” I will convince them that that no such time exists, and that person will forever only refer to “noon” and “midnight.” If someone refers to or cites “Element of Style” in any context other than as an example of outdated useless peace-of-shit style, I will try to stay calm and suggest Bernstein’s… Read more »
For Me, It’s Been Well Over The North Side Of 3 Years. Where I’m From There’s An Overabundance Of Bottoms, Guys Wanting Oral Only, Chatterboxes, Pic Collectors, And Some Wanting Just Friendships And Relationships(go to e-harmony for that mess) The Scarce Amount Of Tops My Way Act Like Scorned Queens, They’re Ass Hoppers, Olympian Athlete Seekers And Some (especially the young kids) That Put Their Bodies Up For Sale.So For Me, It’s Involuntary And Almost Astronomically Impossible To Find A Decent Guy For Sex In My Neck Of The Woods.
Lmao, it’s not funny, but it’s like you live in Soflo., as you’ve touched on many points of the same situation/s here.
Oh Man, I Thought It Was Just Gastonia, N.C., But It’s Everywhere
What is an “ass hopper”?
Well it has been for me 10 years and 4 months 🙁
I’ve had sex with 7 to 8 thousand hot men over a 48 year time period. I’m 65 now and just slowed down 2 years ago because of the pandemic. I still have great sex with my husband 3-4 times a week even now. (He married me because I’m one of the best tops around). I used to plow as many as 10 guys in a single night at sex clubs like 442 Natoma (loved that place I just let my dick hang out of my white trash Dickies and hot boys would give me the look and bend over… Read more »
The first sentence should have read “Dear Penthouse”
Penthouse pussy had nothing to do with it. Maybe “Dear Bound and Gagged”? Or maybe “Dear Mario Lopez”? Sure he’s straight. LOL! Maybe now, but back in 1996?
I am from a generation and a locale when closet was necessary. I had my first experiebce in college, he got the guilties, told his new cult, and they told it all over campus. So I dropped out and left. Next was a gap of a few years, for lack of opportunity. After another gap, I had an encounter with a friend who helped me come to terms with being gay. It was safe sex. He had caught HIV. He eventually died. When a stupid senator made it illegal to get anonymous tests, fear of outing was the last straw.… Read more »
My goodness, that’s quite a story, RL. I hope this won’t make you feel badly, but nearly everything you laid out almost mirrors my life – except that I’ve been able to avoid all the bad that happened to you. I had my first homosexual experience (discreetly) as a college freshman in the late ’70s. Then over the next 7 years, I got some action, always catch as catch can, and always condom-free since back then, condoms were really only for birth control. When AIDS came along, I fortunately wised up and stopped fucking guys bareback. Then I started dating… Read more »
I loved reading this, sorry it happened though, all of it, but what does not kill you, makes you a great deal wiser, stronger. Good luck to you, sincerely.
For me, it was 9 years. No guys whatsoever.
It’ll be 2 years at the end of August since my wife and I separated.I’d been sporadically bi for several years, trying to resist what I couldn’t. A great gay senior put me up for a week ‘til I got sorted out and we enjoyed each other a lot, but he wasn’t into anal, my flagship. So I’m now close to two years with nada and I’m hungry for the sex and the companionship. I love nothing more than being fucked, and I love eating ass, I’ll do it all night … or day. But I’m still trying to make… Read more »
“… You’ve gone without sex” The implication in this statement is that “you should need a lot of sex always.” The reality is men come in all shapes and sizes with all kinds of different needs and wants. In general sex all the time is for the younger guys. While it ebbs over time for older guys. But the opposite is very true. Younger guys may not need or want it as much as older guys. No one needs to justify or gauge their sexual appetites to anyone else. We’re all different. We all should be free to be guilt… Read more »
Let’s not be quite so intellectual about this!
Freud states that sex is the root of all desires and the ultimate stimulations and the ultimate justifications for all motivation and existence!
Hence, what lies between-the-ears cannot, always, reign-in, what hangs between-the-legs or what goes up-the between-the-cheeks or goes-down-the throat!
Homo Sapiens Sapiens are, sometimes, prisoners of their design and purpose. It is Culture, however, that determines the avenues for sex to travel to logical destinations!
Therefore, as we boys grow older, Culture dictates the opportunities
Freud doesn’t state that sex is the root of all desires, nor is it the “justification for all motivation and existence.” Have you not heard of the death drive? Please, this isn’t the room for basic bitch 101 psychoanalysis lecture. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Stay on topic. And my god …. still with the totally-un-fucking-necessary-hyphens. What is it with you?
While ‘some’ of what you said has merit, I think, it’s a broad question for every age group, period. I don’t believe there is any implication here, not sure where you got that.
My wife went through a rough childbirth, and then menopause and has not been into sex for almost ten years. That’s when I started to explore my bi side and while it’s not the same at least I have some release after ten years of being celibate….
It’s been months now. I don’t think I’ll ever have sex again.
I have had to give up sex because of an illness, if wasn’t for that I’d still be enjoying sex. So I have had to forgo sex all together through no choice of my own and I miss it
Very sorry about your health issues!
I never go without sex by choice. I have sadly had multiple dry spells at times, then a few guys in a short time frame. I don’t need a connection for sex to feel good, but if I did find a partner I would not object!
Agreed on all you said Eric!
People seem to forget that you can even make love to a person you never met or knew before even if they are a one-night stand! Hell, I met more lovers that way!
My longest without sex is 4 years and it wasn’t my choice just a bad situation and it was years ago. If I could I’d have sex every day of the week and a few times a day with a lover but single now so that settles that. I’m 57 now and trying to meet guys in this COVID era is nutz anyway. So many picture collectors, game players, liars and chicken shit guys out there and bots or others trying to get your money you can’t tell who is real and who isn’t on any app or web site.… Read more »
It has been over two (2) years since the pandemic reared its ugly head. So for my general health and well being, I gave it up. Now that the pandemic is seemingly relaxing it’s grip on humanity and despite masks, social distancing and vaccinations, I would not resume 2-party sexual activity unless and until we were both dressed in hazmat suits and took the full Silkwood afterwards.
I’ve been with my partner 5 years. It’s been three years I’ve not received. He had prostate removal. He’s receptive only now.
I’ve always had long periods of celibacy, it’s good for you actually. I’ve always imposed these things upon myself, I’m choosy, self-loved, you cannot just throw yourself; mind, body and soul into this thing called the “gay-lifestyle” as it will indeed chew you up you and spit you out, collectively. Furthermore, during my frequent clubbing days, I would always masturbate before going out, point being I just didn’t want those kinds of mistakes, falling in bed with “Mr. now.” One night, I sat next to this other young man, and he too, said he practiced the very same thing for… Read more »
I have “standards” too. I’ve had sex with thousands of them. I have no time to play golf…..
With a real person? Maybe 6mos, with Mr. Hand? Maybe a few hours.
Mr Hand is never a no-show either, how refreshing is that?
more than 3 years. my partner had to have a urinary bladder operation and thus wears a uranostomy bag, he is ashamed and because f that we have not ebtertained or gone out . It would be something i would not do is flaunt the fact that i am always horney, being an Italian, abd would sneak out on him while he is too shy to have weak minded men understand that there but for the mercy of God go I.
Its crazy. Ever since I was little I always caught heat for being gay, I also had orgasms in second grade. What’s crazy is how do you treat a sex addict? Well unfortunately I live in a place where I didn’t know people who were so good to me, would be talking badly about me. But now I have to leave. I out sexed everybody. I’m a hooker instead of an escort. Living in Google land is quite the illusion. Even the sex was faked. If I was infact good looking,. I would not be forced into submission with no… Read more »
I haven’t been fucked on over 2 years..
Four years in between connections. Right now, it’s been 2 years. Why? logistics/schedules and over all just very selective/picky.
Over one 12 now I turning a Virgin again. Even the perv Catholic Church has more send Matt gates has more sex.