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Hey, guys! How kinky or vanilla are you and could you give up your kink for a totally vanilla relationship? Conversely, what if you’re vanilla, would you be willing to explore or try kinky sex even though you have no experience? 

But first, what is the difference between vanilla and kinky? According to urban dictionary, vanilla sex is:

A description of what a culture regards as standard or conventional sexual practice. Often, it is interpreted as sex which does not involve elements such as, BDSM, kink, or fetish activities. Usually defined as boring, plain sex. But, a vanilla lover would regard it as making-love, passionate sex.


Meanwhile, kinky sex is defined as:

A type of sexual intercourse that is controversial among different people; some think it is vulgar while others acknowledge and praise that it brings more sexual excitement. Kinky sex is often regarded as sex involving BDSM, sex toys or simply ceaseless sex. In general, this sex type may not be suitable for amateurs to enjoy. Individuals with a certain level of experience may be interested with this sex category.


What do the gay men on Reddit think about this topic?

One guy confessed that he is “pretty inexperienced in the bedroom.” He said his “porn preferences swing back and forth between hardcore BDSM and just wanting to see two guys making out.” He explained further that he feels like if he actually tried anything actually really kinky with someone he would just be uncomfortable the entire time and not enjoy it so  he thinks that he is somewhere in the middle. Another guy said something along these lines. He described himself as “a bit too kinky for the vanilla boys, but way too vanilla for the kinky boys.” He explained, “It’s an awkward position to be in.”

Meanwhile, one guy said that he’s “vanilla with a little chocolate syrup on top.” It’s a sentiment shared by another guy who explained that he just “find the ‘accoutrements’ of kink just don’t add anything to the experience. Kinks don’t do anything for me, and most are a bit of a turn off.”

For this guy, however, “kinky is relative.” He added, “I have friends who think showering together is kinky. But not me, I have a lot of kinks and I like to employ them. Vanilla sex was OK as a kid but then my tastes ‘matured.’”

Read other responses here. What about you, guys? Would you say you’re kinky or vanilla when it comes to sex? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!

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