I’m bringing this up because whenever I post a photo of a “manly man” with beard on Facebook, there are guys who would say things like, “Now, that’s a real man.” Does this mean that the other guys that I post—the ones who are more slender or with no facial hair, are not “real men?”
Personally, I think we need to analyze what we want to say or write first before we actually say/post it. A slender young man without facial hair might suffer from an inferiority complex by the fact that he is not considered as a real man by others…it can be hurtful, not being able to measure up to another’s “standards.”
But is he really less of a man just because of some superficial characteristics? The definition of a man tells us otherwise though. According to Wikipedia, “A man is an adult male human. Prior to adulthood, a male human is referred to as a boy. Like most other male mammals, a man’s genome typically inherits an X chromosome from his mother and a Y chromosome from his father. The male fetus generally produces larger amounts of androgens and smaller amounts of estrogens than a female fetus. This difference in the relative amounts of these sex steroids is largely responsible for the physiological differences that distinguish men from women. During puberty, hormones which stimulate androgen production result in the development of secondary sexual characteristics, thus exhibiting greater differences between the sexes. However, there are exceptions to the above for some transgender and intersex men.”
I don’t see anywhere that mentions that a man has to be beefy, macho or have to sport a beard, or sporty clothes or like the color blue.
As sexual minorities (gays, bisexuals), and as human beings in general, I think we need to be more vigilant and watchful about what we say, because I think we are part of the monster that we create. The superficial “perfect gay man” is seen as someone with perfect teeth, perfect beard and chest, but what about the rest, the other 90% of the guys? If we all want to be loved and respected, we should all embrace differences and celebrate them. Of course we all have tastes but there is no need to diminish someone or make them feel less of a man just because he is different from what YOU like.
I think it’s about time that the Adam4Adam community set a good example to others, to be mindful of what we say and to stop saying such hurtful words. Do you agree? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below. And to all our fem boys, slender guys, smooth faced guys, know that you are loved and free to be who you are. Don’t compare yourself with others, you are worthy as you are, and don’t let fuckers tell you otherwise!