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If you’ve been on dating apps for any amount of time, you will probably have had more than one person message you with just three letters: “Hey.” That may be exciting the first few times when you’re a dating app newbie, but it quickly loses its appeal when dozens and dozens of strangers only have that to say to you.
When you find yourself not getting any responses on a dating app like Adam4Adam, it may be because this is all that you’re doing and it may be time to change your approach. If you want to change things up, here are some suggestions.
1. Read their profile so you have something else to say
We don’t make people fill out profiles for no reason. It’s there for you to get to know the other person better and hopefully come up with a great conversation starter. Do they say that they like books? Ask them what they’re currently reading. Did they share that they are movie buffs? Ask them their opinion about the films of Bong Joon Ho. Both of these are better ways to start a conversation than just saying “hey.”
This is also a reminder that you should always fill up your profile on Adam4Adam. You’re tired of people just greeting you with “hey,” but what do you expect them to do when all they know about you from your profile is that you’re a cisgender bottom?
2. If the profile is blank, check out their pictures
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If you peruse the photos in a user’s Adam4Adam profile, you’ll be sure to come up with at least a few opening lines. Are there a lot of photos of the other person playing a sport? You can ask about it if you’re unfamiliar with the sport. If you also play it, then that’s even better because now you have something in common with the other person. You can talk about that!
Same as with the user profile, this should also be a reminder for you to upload a variety of pictures to your profile. Besides the fact that it is harder for you to stand out when you’re just another set of abs in a sea of abs, you really can’t expect people to start a conversation with you when you’ve got an empty profile and all they know of you is that you have abs.
3. Try out a pick-up line
Pick-up lines are tricky and they don’t always work, but they’re honestly preferable than just “hey.” At the very least, the other person can find it funny if it’s a particularly corny line. If you’re witty, the person might find it interesting and engage you in a conversation.
We’d like to hear from you guys about pick-up lines. What are the ones that have worked for you when you’re trying to pick up a guy? What are the ones that have worked on you? Share it with us in the comments section below!
How about paying attention to who is around you, passing by, and not being stuck in your phone? More importantly, do you use the app or does it use you? Is it affecting your behavior and communication, or do you remain in control of yourself?
I think a lot of the reason some guys don’t write a lot in the opening is, the number of guys who ignore messages or don’t bother to read more than a few words. In these days of sound bites, video flashes, and reduced grammar skills, this is a very real problem. After a while, it gets to where it seems a waste of time. For new guys, it’s really bad when the recipient blocks after the first message, just because the writer wasn’t the person he wanted to hear from. I really wish sites like this had a special… Read more »
Wow, if this wasn’t so pitiful, it’d be funny.
The problem is when you put in even the slightest amount of effort it is either ignored or thought of as “thirsty” or over zealous and then ignored.
Sometimes i dont want to put in the effort to be witty when im just going to get blocked for existing
If they reply to hey(its a common greeting acceptable in face to face interactions) then ill show more effort but whats the aversion to three tiny letters? Lol
Aren’t we all at least a little “thirsty” for staging a semi sexy photo shoot with witty dialogue to post for an algorithm?
I sometimes feel that the social network is where you go to learn to be antisocial
One thing for sure, if I’m not his type, no matter what I say, it won’t get his attention. If he finds me attractive, then even a simple “Hi” will get a response from him. So I don’t need to make things complicated with useless pick-up lines.
I’m regularly hit up by guys with profiles that clearly don’t line up with what I say in mine I’m seeking. They usually start by sending only a smile. With not much effort at a greeting and seemingly less reading a profile, I usually just don’t respond.
I agree, the first word is all caps and repeated four times “READ”, my specifically state that I ill not travel over 15 miles, not interested in anyone under 35, etc. What do I get? People from Russia and Eastern Europe, arrogant fucks that don’t read the profile from out of state who get uppity when I tell them them they are 1600 miles away. I believe that it doesn’t matter what a profile does or does not have mo rons don’t read them anyway. And seriously smiley faces? What are we 12?
Those are all great ideas, however, it’s been my experience when attempting a dialogue with someone on an app like Adam, it’s a crap shoot! It really doesn’t matter what one says if it’s being said to a shallow minded individual! I’ve introduced myself; I’ve commented on similarities of hobbies; I’ve complimented on one thing or another on their profile, etc, all to no avail, yet I get the most results with a simple, “Hello!” I know I’m not appealing to everyone, but I do get a few bites now and then from those who take the time to actually… Read more »
I like the people who are on but not ON. I’d love for A4A to have an automatic log out whenever someone has had no activity for more than 10 minutes or a status that says “inactive”. I also think people should have to respond to incoming messages. I’d have a click option on the comment “Thank you, but I’m not interested at this time.” If someone clicks that, the person receiving it wouldn’t be blocked, but they would not be able to message again for a certain period of time unless the other person messages. I respond to everyone… Read more »
YES YES YES! Thank you! This drives me BONKERS!
If I hit a guy up and he doesn’t respond, there’s no foul. He just wasn’t interested. Simple. I don’t feel entitled to a response from every guy I happen hit up on a site such as this. I also stopped responding with “thanks, but I’m not interested” to being hit up by guys with profiles that don’t line up with mine. Too often that elicited highly negative responces from guys who were needy and/or easily offended. Actually, I found I end up blocking very few guys by not responding to a hit that was off target in the first… Read more »
I always edit my profile when I have things to do, I.E ONLINE-AWAY.
But why stay logged on? That makes zero sense.
My favorite pick up line was always: “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” Subtlety just wastes time.
WOW! That delicious dark chocolate model pictured with this article is beautiful! His looks are exactly what I like
I hate saying it really, but this just goes to show ‘us’ the stupid shit woman put up with where the ‘psyches of typical men’ are concerned: thoughtless, stupid, lazy, inarticulate, across the board. I get lots of comps about my profiles because I put myself-who I am into them, what I want or do not want. As an older man, I’m shocked sometimes at the lack of even bothering to read my profile, “it’s an ‘intro’ I tell them as to who I am, so you can make a better informed decision; whether to contact or reply, are you… Read more »
[…] a particular A4A member and you don’t know what to say to them, fear not, we have written an article in the past titled, “A New Approach Other than Saying ‘Hey.'” This particular […]