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Health: Do You Pay Attention to Your Mental Health?

Hey guys! How are you today? Would you say you’re happy? Feeling Anxious or stressed out? Are you maybe in a dark place right now? 

We’re asking because few weeks ago American singer, songwriter, and actor Adam Lambert took to Twitter to open up about his mental health struggle. He posted a letter to fans revealing that he “is coming out of a dark period” and that there was a time “he was lonely and becoming depressed.” 

But depression and other forms of mental illness can affect people from all walks of life, not just celebrities. In fact, earlier a friend texted me saying she’s feeling depressed and no, she wasn’t just expressing her sadness. Two months back, one of my gay friends revealed he was diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) almost a decade ago, that at the time he felt like he was going to die. And just this month, a cousin confessed he suffered from depression and was experiencing suicidal ideations due to a childhood trauma he endured for years. The sad thing is that we’d only learn about the struggles of our loved ones years after the fact, when they are finally able to talk about it. But let’s not go further because I think it’s safe to say that at one point in our life, most of us if not all, had suffered from poor mental health… that we’ve all been in that dark place.  

Which brings us to this question: How do you take care of your mental health?  

According to The Mental Health Foundation, there are many ways we can look after our mental health, and we quote: 

  • Talking about our feelings
  • Leading an active lifestyle
  • Eating well
  • Drinking sensibly
  • Keeping in touch
  • Ask for help
  • Take a break
  • Do something we are good at
  • Accept who we are
  • Care for others.

But how do we know we are in need professional therapy and counseling? Psychology Today has a mental health assessment which we can take here. 

That being said, do you pay attention to your mental health and what do you do to take care of it? Sound off below!


There are 15 comments

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  1. Matt

    To improve mental health:

    1. Avoid drama at all cost.
    2. Cease being triggered by things.
    3. Stop embracing victim mentality.
    4. Don’t think just because you can.
    5. Let things go.

    • Hunter0500

      6. Manage (minimize) your time on the Internet.
      7. Interact with others face-to-face more than digitally.
      8. Carefully decide who or what you allow yourself to be offended by.
      9. Recognize that others with different feelings, beliefs or social stances are not your enemies; you and they are equals.

  2. cody

    Not long ago, I underwent surgery to remove my testicles; due to cancer. The lack of testosterone really took its effect, and still does. There are many days that I struggle mentally. Feelings of inadequacy, not feeling manly enough, and mentalities evolving my ED. Many days I just fee depressed. I dont have the answers for these feelings, in which I rely heavily on medical and therapeutic proffesional to cope. However, Matt’s responses, as anyone dealing with mental issues know, are not (and in no way near) solutions to follow. In fact, these mentalities are 100% non effective and further enable negative feelings. Sure, don’t be a victim. Dig for extra strength to rise above, but never assume nothing is wrong. Solutions form from rising above your feelings, not harboring them and trying to ignore. I dont know what Mr. Matt has been through, but whoever gave him this senseless and mentally dangerous information has no clue how to deal with this type of therapy.

    • bjjj

      Cody, I’m sure you will be fine. I myself don’t have a lot of sexual drive anymore, as I’m getting older, and my cock doesn’t get super hard anymore, and is somewhat small. But I have found although sexual fun is important, a lot of being gay, or bi, or (even straight) isn’t the most important thing in life. I am gay, have a gay BF, and we find that we have great times together. We go do things, go to movies, eat out, go to sporting events, concerts, travel, and of course spend lots of time with each other. You can still have sexual fun, try kissing, cuddling, rimming, and yes, enjoy your cock. If it doesn’t get hard well so what. Don’t always expect to much, just enjoy and go with the flow. If you don’t cum so what. My BF and I don’t always cum and get hard, but it’s still exciting. The idea of sharing each other is what it’s all about. I know finding that right person is hard, but there are all kinds of places to meet including online, bars, restaurants, work, and even porn shops. If you go or have been to porn shop arcades, bath houses, etc, you will find that most guys there are just average, and they don’t always cum and get real hard either. Enjoy their presence and conversation. Don’t be afraid to say Hi to others, how are you.

  3. Ryan M.

    I do my best to pay attention to my mental health. Generally, I run on a three-day cycle by keeping in contact with my family — with whom I have a good and supportive relationship.

    This was theirs and my healthcare providers’ idea. Though I’m 37 today, I’ve lived with several mental disorders since I first sought professional care when I was 25. Mainly and without mentioning my personal laundry list of diagnoses, I have depression and bipolar disorder. Easily treatable with prescription medications prescribed to me with one-on-one psychotherapy (also called talk therapy), I live a much better functioning life, today, from when I was 25.

    Also, free to the public in most major US cities is the Chicago-based DBSA (Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance) group therapy.

    • Ryan M.

      To elaborate further into my dialogue — please understand, not of narcissism, but I want to enhance it for helpful descriptions from personal experiences.

      Do you hear other men speak of the word “drama” in a negative context? Though I hear it and laugh a bit to myself with a light heart because of relating it more to the acting and stage arts, I assume the negative stereotyping revolves around someone projecting personal problems unto others. My personal experience here is to note that, in my early 20s, I may have unfortunately been unaware that I was projecting. I had concerned and suggesting coworkers as well as family who tried to make a noticeable point that I please seek help by either getting meds to “put a smile on [my] face” or to “talk to someone.” …you know the saying, “What goes up must come down?” I found this out the hard way at 25 by experiencing mania with euphoria when I was alone one evening at home. It did not last long by the end of the evening, but within the week, I reached a low of desperation — an unknowing depth of depression. There have been problems of mental health in my family’s ancestry. Depression for me, has not been simply from family predisposition, but I’ve been affected by my environment — from childhood abuse to a severe traffic accident.

      Medically, depression factors come from: Life Events, such as abuse, stress, or natural disasters; Personality, such as low extraversion, short-term hopelessness, or sleep disruption; Gender Identity and Sexuality, such are those who are marginalized by gender identity or sexual orientation; Medical Treatments, such as those induced by medications, like beta-blockers, antimigraine drugs, and hormonal agents; Substance-Induced that can cause or exacerbate depression, such as with intoxication, withdrawal, or continued use of, like benzodiazepines, heroin, or amphetamines; Non-Pschychiatric Illnesses, such as neurological conditions, diabetes, or cancer; Psychiatric Syndromes, such as clinical depression, seasonal affective disorder, or posttraumatic stress disorder; also, Historical Legacy of dispossession, oppression, and depression, such has been with racism and colonialism. (This shared last paragraph is not exhaustive or of any medical advice. Rather, it is to show that within my personal research on the matter of depression, someone — anyone — may be struggling, and it may not be so narrow. It is a broad subject matter.) Peace.

  4. Lamar

    Yeah, it was “very dark” for awhile, still is, dark out there, in the larger world, difference is, I now keep that outside of my being, my head, my mind, soul! Yeah, unplug from the world occasionally, keep outside of the world at large sometimes, get back to your core being, find ways to heal whatever pain in the past there is (letting go of it) start there…

    It’s like if you’ve even lived in NYC, then you know you need to get out occasionally, or “Miss NYC will devour you.” The world has only become more complicated, not simpler, in all of its conveniences; have become inconveniently toxic, sickening, really, obviously. The gay community, its really no better, either, mostly just meat to each other, mostly. If, you can make
    truly healthy friendships, where you’re not sexually involved, you’re better off…

    You work with toxic people, you’re in traffic with ’em, go home to toxic people-they’re some of your neighbors, your sucking-fucking them, hell, man, they’re sucking-fucking you, too, lmao!

    JUST STOP, who are you, do you know? Then how do you know what’s important to you, yeah, you’re going to have to confront yourself, first, see, then clean house. You gotta find a “healthy way” to enjoy at least an hour out of the 24 to enjoy just being alive, devoid of anyone else, first.

    And for the record, in this country, that goes double being black and gay. You’d be surprised or not, at how many guys are on the road to self-destruction, for these dynamics alone…

  5. Matt

    Not just in the gay community, but everywhere in the USA, people buy into identifying as a victim and they marry with narcissistic tendencies (of everyone is against me WHEN THEY ARE NOT) and you’re on the road to borderline personality disorder.

    I’ve stopped inviting some gay friends to my gathering and when they asked why, I said that I was done listening to their drama-victim self-imprisonment.

    Your locus of control is either internal (empowered) or external (everyone is against me). Even with an internal locus of control, it’s an uphill struggle, but with an external locus of control, the climb only gets steeper and longer.

    People with an external locus of control desperately need therapy, but social media and the fake news inculcate the external locus of control mindset and depression and suicidality has skyrocketed.

  6. Jameson

    Interesting to see this here— really appreciate the community coming out in greater support for mental health. Blow n go hookups have been quite shitty for my own wellness and its pretty daunting to find actual intimacy sometimes… sigh

    • Lamar

      BINGO! That, is the point I make about todays gay-life style, you set yourself up for disappointment/illnesses-physically/mentally/spiritually with what becomes an addiction for dick-or ass… now, you know…Talk about unwanted “baggage”….

      There’s just no getting around what your better-side or inner-being is just living for, that ‘it’ knows what ‘is’ really good for you; being LOVED and LOVING someone…

  7. bjjj

    Mental health problems aren’t just limited to the gay community, but I do believe gays have a lot harder time dealing with it. Bluntly this society makes it very difficult to enjoy life. So much judgement by others. Your judged by so many things, looks, age, religion, race, gay, straight, bi, financial status, who your friends are, where you live etc. One big problem is that their is never enough money, unless your top brass in some big company, earning a 6 figure income. When bills that take everything you make, it makes it very hard to enjoy life. Jobs that pay decent are scarce, and if your gay it’s even harder to land a good paying job. Finding a decent job isn’t so much about what you know, (education), but whom you know. (Yes, education is important though). If you apply for a job, and your older like me, not super good looking, a bit overweight, etc, most likely you will be turned down. And if the person hiring you finds out your gay, well, it probably won’t happen. I myself get very down, as at the end of the pay period, I can’t do much of anything. They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but it sure helps.

  8. bjjj

    Yes, to add to my post, yes, I get very down at times, and sometimes very angry. I have a great BF, and yes we do just about everything, but when it comes to having sex the 2 of us have hit a stalemate. We love to do all kinds of things from travel, shop, concerts, dining, etc. I will say he is the world best friend, but sexually, he just doesn’t seem sexually interested in me in particular. Yes, he sees others and has sex, and that’s ok with me. I have no problem with it. Neither of us are hot guys with big cocks as we are both older. Also my friend is black, and I am white, and the others he see’s are white as well. I don’t think there is anything concerning race that gets in the way. What can I do to gain more sexual interest with him. I’m ready to get going and have sex with him, he’s like well I’m tired, we will soon, not now, etc. What can I do that will get him more interested in me in particular. I don’t expect an everyday orgy or anything, just some fun sex and getting off maybe even once a week. Any suggestions as to how to win back his sexual drive toward me.


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