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We’ve all had those moments where we wonder: Am I doing this “gay thing” right? Maybe you’ve never been to a Pride parade. Maybe you didn’t know what “otter” or “power bottom” meant until recently. Or maybe you just don’t care for rainbow merch and can’t tell Versace from Gap.

We all know them—the unwritten rules of gay culture. Whether it’s worshipping Beyoncé, knowing every line from Mean Girls, or busting flawless moves on the dance floor, it sometimes feels like there’s a checklist for being the “right kind” of gay. But what happens when you don’t tick every box? This is the question raised online by a gay man who recently asked, “What’s a ‘gay sin’ you’ve committed that might get your card revoked?” He added, “Let’s be honest, we’ve all got at least one. That one thing that makes other gays go: ‘…babe, are you okay?'”

With that single post, the floodgates opened. Hundreds chimed in, dropping lighthearted “sins” ranging from fashion fails to pop culture betrayals. No gatekeeping, just giggles, gasps, and the occasional digital side-eye.

Let’s start with a classic: the dancing gene. One gay man confessed, “Um…I can’t dance. Does that count?” To which another gay man practically shouted from the digital rooftops, “Thank GOD I’m not alone on this one. I can stand in front of 1,000 people and talk with confidence about almost ANYTHING, but I’ll be damned if I can dance.” And just when you thought the story couldn’t get better, he added: “One time I drunkenly wandered across the dance floor in an attempt to get to the bar to order another drink. So drunk in fact they took my keys to ensure I wouldn’t drive. Imagine my surprise when they called me to the stage to announce I won the dance competition.” Sometimes, sinning pays off—especially if you’re too tipsy to notice.

Then there’s the issue of fashion. One man sheepishly admitted, “I’m bad at fashion. Spent 31 years in the closet and still can’t dress.” This is a reminder that not everyone emerged from the closet with an automatic sense of style. Some of us skipped that download. For every gay man in couture, there’s another one in cargo shorts and a mismatched hoodie wondering why they feel like a fraud at Pride.

Speaking of Pride, one guy admitted they don’t even own a single rainbow item. “I don’t own anything with rainbows on it and don’t particularly like the color scheme,” he said. The horror! But let’s be honest, not everyone wants to walk around looking like Lisa Frank’s dream journal.

Then came the ultimate pop culture confession: “I don’t like RuPaul’s Drag Race lol.” Silence. Then: audible gasps. While many treat Drag Race like sacred text, others simply can’t get into it—and that’s okay. Whether it’s the format, the fanbase, or the wigs, not everyone has to live for the drama, mama.

One particularly heart-wrenching “gay sin” stood out not for its humor but for the vulnerability behind it. “I tattooed ‘straight’ on my chest when I was young because I didn’t want to be gay, lol.” The “lol” does some heavy lifting here, masking years of internalized shame and survival instincts. But this, too, is a part of the gay experience: the things we did to hide, to pass, to survive—and the bittersweet laughter we now use to talk about it.

Then there’s romance. Not everyone is down for the polyamorous revolution. “I don’t like poly relations; I want a man just for me.” While ethical non-monogamy has become more visible and accepted, there are still many who long for that old-school, monogamous kind of love. And guess what? That’s not a sin—it’s just preference.

Body image also made an appearance on the list. One man wrote plainly, “I’m fat.” It may seem like an odd confession, but it speaks to the often unspoken standards of attractiveness in gay culture. To admit this out loud is, sadly, still treated like a breach of some unwritten code. But being fat isn’t a sin. Fat is just fat—and we all deserve love, desire, and dignity like any other guy with different body type.

And in a confession that might earn side-eyes from some corners of the internet, one guy bravely shared, “Twink porn turn me off.” In a world where youthful, hairless bodies are often fetishized and centered, it’s refreshing—and relieving—for some to hear that preferences do vary widely. The gay community, after all, is not a monolith. We’re a mosaic.

So, what about you, Adam4Adam readers. What’s your so-called “gay sin”? The pop song you never learned? The Pride event you’ve never attended? The celeb crush that might get your card snatched? Drop your stories in the comments section down below. Let’s laugh, reflect, and celebrate the full, flawed, fabulous spectrum of who we are.

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