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Is it a red flag to go down on someone, only to be denied a kiss right after? Where do you stand on that? Is it a harmless boundary or a straight-up disrespect? If that happened to you, are you brushing it off or re-evaluating the relationship?
Anyway, we are asking because a gay man online shared, “Boyfriend won’t kiss me during or after oral because he thinks it’s ‘disgusting.’ How do I handle this?” He added:
Hey guys, I’ve been with my boyfriend for like two months now, and we have a recurring issue during sex. Whenever I’m giving him a blowjob or right after I finish, he refuses to kiss me. If I lean in, he’ll literally pull away or turn his head.
When I asked him about it, he told me he finds it ‘disgusting’ to kiss me when his dick has been in my mouth or if there’s cum involved. It makes me feel really gross and rejected. It feels like I’m good enough to pleasure him, but then suddenly I’m ‘too dirty’ to be kissed.
It’s starting to make me not want to do it at all. Am I being too sensitive, or is this a valid reason to be upset? Has anyone else dealt with this?
It’s a simple situation on the surface, but the reaction it triggers is anything but simple. Because this isn’t just about a kiss, it’s about what that kiss represents. Acceptance, intimacy, passion, maybe even love. So, when it’s withheld, what does that say?
Some gay men didn’t hesitate to call it out directly, framing it as a respect issue rather than a preference: “Stop giving him head and let him know that if he finds his own dick so disgusting, then there’s no way you should be putting it into your mouth.
That sort of reaction is just plain childish to me personally.” The message here is clear: if he benefits from it, rejecting you right after sends a mixed signal.
Further, others see it as immaturity, possibly tied to insecurity or lack of experience, like for this guy who replied, “I’m guessing he never goes down on you? I’m also assuming he’s young, because this is immature bullshit.
If your mouth is full of cum I can see not wanting to kiss, but even if you’ve only just had his dick in your mouth seems a bit like toxic masculinity.”
Then there are responses that go deeper, turning the focus back onto OP’s boyfriend: “You have to wonder about a person who finds themselves so ‘disgusting.'” Because at the core, that’s what’s being implied. Why is it disgusting when it came from him?
Meanwhile, some guys confessed that kissing after oral as part of the appeal, not something to avoid. One gay man replied, “Stop giving him head. Kissing after receiving a blowjob is hot as fuck. Even better if you still have some cum in your mouth.”
While another said, “That’s interesting. After my man has taken my load in his mouth, I want him to kiss me with my cum on his lips, and vice versa. That’s hot.” For these gay men, kissing after a blowjob is not just a given; it’s a huge turn-on. A continuation of the moment, not a break from it.
Lastly, others take a more blunt, no-negotiation stance: “Dump his ass,” one gay man said. In addition, someone replied, “Stop sucking his dick. It’s clearly dirty and shouldn’t be in your mouth.” These responses strip it down to a basic question: why give a blow job to someone who makes you feel rejected?
And maybe that’s where the real issue sits.
Not everyone has to like the same things. Preferences exist. Boundaries exist. But when those boundaries make your partner feel gross or lesser, it stops being just a preference; it becomes a problem.
Because intimacy isn’t just about what happens physically. It’s about how both people feel during and after.
Having said all that, where do you stand on this, Adam4Adam blog readers? Do you kiss after oral sex or not? Why or why not? Would you stay with someone who pulls away, or is that a dealbreaker? And if you’ve been in this situation, how did you handle it? If you were OP, would you adjust or expect your partner to meet you halfway? And if they didn’t, what would you do next? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
It’s fine, but after rimming is gross.
Not if you’ve washed your ass before sex.
Rimming AFTER oral … not sure why that’s gross. Rimming BEFORE might be more iffy, depending on circumstances.
Exactly what I was thinking…
I love to rim and get rimmed and kiss after
It’s a rule. It’s what gentlemen do.
If a guy sucks you off you owe him a acknowledgement of thanks.
I totally agree with you
My acknowledgement is my cum. After that blowjob I’m going back home to my family. I’m not a queen.
Can you say CLOSET CASE?
Can you say “NEGATIVE NANCY”…do you ever have anything positive or even mildly nice to say?
Don’t argue with an deranged homosexual.
Sure do AH, when it deserves a positive comment, you closet queen!
Your response speaks for itself..I rest my case.
I respect that.
Figures you WOULD, HONEY! Lololol
This is the kind of Republican I like to look up on Facebook and then provide photographic evidence to his wife of what he does with anonymous men. I hope someone does it to you someday. With the way you speak of others so dismissively, you deserve to have your family life ruined. I hope someone has the balls to expose you one day. Maybe that’s what it will take for you to being a fucking human being.
You and thousands of other men who were or are married. Some of their wives, who often are the only woman these guys have sex with, know. What’s their label? Bi? Not really. Gay? Not really either. Downlow/DL? Not really because these guys keep their sexuality private. They don’t hide it, but they don’t flaunt it.
For certain they don’t meet the stereotypical definition for Gay. It’s their sexuality and it’s their right to live it as they wish.
I did only once about two years ago…I had a guy sucking me off with a dildo in my ass. It took me no time to cum in his mouth. He immediately swallowed but started kissing me. I was turned on immediately. Then I made him cum in my mouth and we kissed again. I’m not big on kissing but that was a huge turn on.
So naughty, so sexy
Delicious!
Yes i do kiss,if the other guy is willing,it dont matter or bother me,I enjoy full body connections!
Absolutely! Love tasting cum when I kiss another guy and I love sharing it with him!
I tend to agree because I have been with several Guys that want to blow their load in your face and then will lick it off and kiss you in a passionate moment. it actually is pretty HOT especially for me because I have only swallowed with someone that I have been dating and I know their lifestyle and level of healthiness not to mention it better taste Good,lol. Even my current BF had to wait awhile before I swallowed his load and I questioned should I even do it after he asked “Do you Do that with every Guy… Read more »
Absolutely not.
Why, is your cock covered in crap?
Dump this boy’s ass. If he can’t handle his own jizz in your mouth after you’ve given him some great head then he’s not worth wasting your precious time with.
Hella yeah, screw that LOSER!
That really sounds like something a straight man would say. If there was kissing before, then refused after, that would be the last time sex would happen. Not the end of the world just not a match.
The back and forth mouth kissing alternating with cocksucking is one of the most passionate things and one of my most favorite. It rarely happens, but when it does, I get extra hard and stay hard. Post cum/ejaculation is not as hot. That part depends on who I’m with. The other guy usually swallows my load, and then sometimes I like kissing him afterwards, and sometimes I don’t.
He has major issues if he won’t KISS YOU after you drain him dry! Maybe he should try to find out what his problem is!
He might be a married man using you for a cum rag. Sorry, no kissing.
Married doesn’t mean dick dude! Married men kiss also unless they are sick ass closet cases!
If you sucked me like that you probably have sucked hundreds. No kissing!
Kissing is highly required. If they were nice enough to put their mouth on me down there, the least I can do is put my mouth on them after.
Personally, if a partner thinks his dick is so disgusting that he won’t kiss me after it’s been in my mouth, then I don’t want it in my mouth. Maybe he has some social disease or bad hygiene.
SIMPLE no kiss no sex
Love to kiss after I cum in his mouth or he cums in my mouth. I jack off daily and cum on the back of my hand so I can lick it off. I enjoy the taste of cum so the kissing is just the cherry on top! However, if he cums in my asshole then licks his cum out and wants to kiss me, that’s gross and a definite no! If ever in Reno and want to 69 then cum kiss look me up, emitwennuf on A4A, I ain’t hard to find.
Not a requirement but I love it when it happens, especially if he feeds me my load (or I feed him his load).
Yeah sure hopefully dm me
Yes absolutely kiss after oral
You guys are not a match in bed. Go get some soap, sponge, plenty of water, and a towel ready, wash his dick real good before you do down on him, see if that works, lol. Or maybe some magic evil fairy bewitches your boyfriend and turns him straight anytime your mouth touches his dick… I usually kiss after and I prefer the same from him too because it’s more fun and intimate that way (unless he’s straight, more on this later*). If there’s enough cum, snowballing can be fun afterwards; even better when you 69, cum at the same… Read more »
Why not? There is always another new antibiotic to assuage infectivity from another STD?
My partner loves it when I kiss his cum back into his mouth… he’s a heavy cummer, plenty to share!
It’s a requirement with me, before you swallow, give Daddy a kiss
Yes and if we’re 69ing and cum around the same time, we can kiss and mix.our loads(snowballing) and it feels better and tastes better.
Absolutely yes, love when I cum in my boyfriend’s mouth and we kiss afterwards. Same goes if he cums in my mouth. Hot, passionate make out.
I definitely enjoy kissing, before, during, and after!!
I’m fine with kissing after a bj whether giving or receiving. I’m not after rimming, clearing your rectum for one thing doesn’t include everything. I am speaking for me…
Hell yeah!!! We are licking and sucking!!!
Why would making out after be gross??
what s bunch of effing girls
In a real intimate relationship, I want to kiss after coming in the guys mouth. If they suck anyone before or after, I wont kiss, them. I had a boyfriend that really liked sucking guys off, and I care for him but, i won’t kiss if I smell cum on his breath, or know that he has sucked another guy off. I would prefer that he place his attention on me but, I also realize that he really loves sucking guys off and eating their cum, I don’t want to deny him that but I don’t want the cum of… Read more »
I dont have much of a choice after my guy pulls me up to him after going down and swallowing to make out with me. We just make out until he’s ready for round two either more bj or breeding time
I find it very hot and sexy to kiss after sucking on a cock.Especially if there is cum on my lips or some cum is dripping out of my mouth.I would be upset if I couldn’t get a cum kiss
non-issue, dont kiss ever
Wow that MAKES YOU A REAL MAN, right?!? Lolololol
I do not kiss men either…but I do kiss a trans…love cum kisses
Whatever floats your boat dude! No real MEN WOULD WANT TO kiss you either!
Some guys kiss. Some don’t.
Some like anal. Some don’t.
Some like to suck or be sucked. Some don’t.
Some swallow. Some don’t.
There’s a whole rainbow of things Gay guys like and don’t like.
Sadly, there’s far too often a lack of tolerance by some Gay guys about the rights other Gay guys have to live their lives as they wish.
THIS!!!
Passionate kissing is one of my most favored sexy acts and if we can cum swap a bit, it’s even better! My wife and I are a bi couple so when we have MMF bi fun, she always shares his load with me in a hot kiss.
Why wouldn’t I?
To me, they are just holes to cum in. I politely move away when trying to kiss me. If that fails I make it very clear. No kissing at all. I have an big cock so they always respect that line.
What a DOUCHE! Good thing you have a BIG ONE cos that’s ALL you have going for ya, tard!
Flat out tell him, “If your dick is dirty I ain’t suckin’ it again.” That’s just bullshit. If it’s truly a relationship you’ll both be pleasuring each in every way you both like. If he’s not sucking you, you don’t suck him, no questions asked. My shit is showered and douched if I’m going to be getting laid even if he’s into man scents. Snowballing is hot as fuck. Reevaluate the relationship. Kissing turns me on way more than fucking ever will. A dick in me when I’m ready to cum is great but it’s only when that point arrives.… Read more »
Yes, I kiss after oral. To me, it just seems natural
I would think so.
If you’re not kissing, we’re not fucking, sucking, or fooling around in any way.
Ok……apparently I’m just super practical. I LOOOOVE sucking a good hard cock, and as a bi guy it isnt everyday i get that opportunity, so if they like to kiss, im all in, if they only like to kiss before i go down on them, IM all in….and if they don’t like to kiss after i have that fantastic load flooding my taste buds, im all in there too. I’ve had some of each situation and although i like kissing both before and after, what I still love the most is a hot throbbing cock exploding in my mouth!
Ok so it’s ok for you to blow him but his dick is so disgusting that he won’t kiss you! Find a new man!
I don’t expect them to want to kiss with me after I’ve sucked them to completion or not. But, I’m incredibly switched-on when they do if they haven’t cum yet, and not so much if they have. I’m not attracted to a guy who enjoys cum in his mouth like I do.
Love snowballing and hot, passionate making out — before and after I’ve sucked him dry. I love reinacting porn scenes and these are the hottest to me. Bring it on.
Absolutely yes after blow jobs. I find it wildly hot.
Never was much into rimming so no experience there.
What the hell. You bf wants you to suck his cock, but after you do, HIS COCK has made your mouth too dirty to kiss. I would be done. BTW…does he suck YOUR cock? I know there are a lot of hang ups, and yes, I understand if you don’t want to swallow a mouthful of cum, but jeez…it’s YOUR CUM! Rimming, if you allow someone to eat, lick, or rim your ass, and then his tongue is too dirty to kiss you…THAT’S YOUR DEAL. What is this? 1950? I thought we were all over those stupid hang ups. I… Read more »
If a guy wants to suck me off and then make out like lovers, I’m fine with that. I have a buddy who loves to kiss and make out. If I pause in the middle to suck his dick, he makes out even more passionately afterward, but once my tongue goes near his ass, which he loves, he’s done with kissing. Another buddy has no such boundaries. He loves to taste his ass on my cock after I fuck him and I’ll suck him deep after he fucks me. After that, we kiss like we invented it. To each, his… Read more »
Oh…My…God! I love it, I want to taste not only his cum but my own cuming from his mouth. It leaves me so wanting more.
Better kiss me after I licked sucked and satisfied him
Love kissing after giving head and if cum involved even better. Love to be kissed after getting head for awhile, so I can taste my own cock too, then continue the head and when I cum in his mouth, I love to be deep kissed again. I say share and share alike.