(Photo Credits: Volodymyr TVERDOKHLIB from Shutterstock)
It’s one of those questions every curious gay man has wondered at some point—but few ask so openly. One gay man online, however, doesn’t mince things and asks, “How does being a bottom feel? I’m just really curious.” It’s a question that’s as old as gay desire itself, and the answers, as always, depend on who you ask. For some, bottoming is transcendent and erotic; for others, it’s complicated, painful, or even emotional. What’s certain is that it’s not just a physical act—it’s a full-body, full-mind experience that’s different for everyone.
Anyway, many men responded with heartfelt, candid descriptions that reveal just how complex and unique the sensation of bottoming can be.
One man shared, “Intense. Kinda difficult to describe the sensation, because it really doesn’t feel like anything else: it’s a feeling that is entirely like itself. It’s weird in that it’s… enjoyable, but I’m not actually sure that I’d say it feels good?” He added, “It doesn’t feel the same kind of ‘straightforward’ good that topping does, but instead it feels really weird but in a way that shuts your brain off and makes you incapable of focusing on anything except the dick in you? It feels ‘overwhelming but in a nice way,’ I think is probably the best way to put it.” His answer captures the paradox many bottoms describe—how pleasure can blur with intensity, and how surrender can transform into euphoria when the timing, trust, and chemistry all click.
Another gay man highlighted the emotional and physical connection that makes bottoming fulfilling: “I always enjoyed the physical connection. There’s something really sexy about watching a guy work hard and grunt while looking in your eyes. But it never really feels good until I can relax. And that takes consistent practice. Which is also enjoyable. My problem is that once we get going and it starts feeling good, he cums and then it’s over.” Here, the emphasis isn’t just on the act itself, but on the rhythm and timing of pleasure and the frustration of when it ends too soon.
In addition, for some gay men, it took time to understand the sensations and overcome anxiety. One gay man admitted, “I hated bottoming when I was younger because it just felt like pooping to me, and I had an anxiety about getting a poop on the dick. But I learned to clean very well, so the anxiety disappeared. And as I bottomed more often, I started to enjoy it more and more.” He went on to describe how practice and comfort transformed the experience: “It is a unique sensation. Like both of your legs shake, and you feel high. But it would hurt if the top is too rough or you aren’t turned on. I’d start small… the sensation gets more intense the bigger it is. I could even cum hands-free sometimes. The problem is that when you are used to a bigger dick, an average dick is not as enjoyable anymore. Get yourself a boyfriend size for routine—5 to 6 inches and 8-9 inches from time to time.” That mix of physical discovery, mental preparation, and gradual comfort is something many gay men can relate to—bottoming as both a journey and a skill.
Others, however, reminded readers that not all experiences are pleasurable. One man shared his trauma from a careless partner: “I stopped bottoming since 2019 because it traumatized me so much. I don’t know if my ex knew how to fuck properly or not, but the way he put a tiny little lube in bean size on the tip of his dick and then started to penetrate pissed me off. It hurt so much, and I bled every single time. Eventually, I flipped and became a top.” It’s a sobering reminder that consent, preparation, and communication matter as much as technique or passion and that trust can make or break the experience.
Still, for many, when everything aligns—the chemistry, the lube, the mood—bottoming can be blissful. “Super intense after he has first pushed into me,” one man said. “As I start to open up properly, it’s a feeling of pure bliss with every thrust. It’s indescribable… my boyfriend can make me cum with prostate stimulation from his cock only—that’s a whole different league.” That’s the side of bottoming that often makes it sound like both an art and a revelation.
Now we want to hear from you, Adam4Adam blog readers: how would you describe your own first time bottoming or even topping? What made it special, challenging, or unforgettable? For those who haven’t tried bottoming yet, what holds you back? And what advice would you give to someone who’s just “really curious” like the OP above? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
Well all I can say is, that I love being topped. When he is all the way in and he has opened my ass up….. I’m in heaven and if there’s two dicks please put the other one in my mouth. I will cum in 2 seconds. I have always loved being a bottom
Oh yes I feel the same
ummmmm… i feel the same..Just surrendering it to an agressive top, is amazing. Of course both end at once is better..
All I can remember is yelling that it feels so good
As a top man,I truly appreciate bottom men,I love tasting,kissing licking, fucking ,etc a thick clean ass,the warmth of it,the joyful noises of fucking is amazing to hear.Laying on a man’s back, getting ready to slip and slide in his glory is a pleasure,,hell just rubbing the ass is pleasing to me!
A real, grateful, and honestly enthusiastic guy!
His D needs to be the right shape and size to get inside me. Doesn’t necessarily mean bigger, because if it’s TOO big, I can tell on sight that it won’t happen. The sensation varies from guy to guy. Both my exes were underdeveloped down there, and bottoming for them wasn’t fun. Other times I’ve been with guys with average or above average dongs, and it’s been really great!
What does it feel like? Sometimes it’s like pushing a watermelon INTO YOUR NOSTRIL.
Bottoming is the time size and skill does matter. Never had a painful fuck with a big dick but have h with a smaller dick. No, 4 inch dicks for me. 5 inch maybe. 6 inch is ok, 7 – 8 – 9 inch are the best and the most enjoyable. Only have had a couple of 10 inch dicks. Would like to have more. A good fucking along with some verbal talk is good. Love being on my back, feet on his shoulders so I can watch him and he can watch me while he is sliding deep in… Read more »
That’s why I love to top in that position, too, plus you can still get some kissing in.
Thank you Lamar. – FVK is the best, Fucking, Verbal and Kissing. It’s a win win for both.
Gotta love that: FVK!
Well, 7 or 8 are about my max and I don’t want a pencil dick, but something with a bit of girth. Sort of the Goldilocks’s size – not too big and not too small.when it’s right it’s the most amazing experience, when it doesn’t measure “up” things are hardly worth the time and effort to psych myself up for fucking.
For me it’s almost indescribable. I’m a total bottom and it makes me feel simultaneously submissive and powerful. It’s a feeling of both being protected, taken, giving, an intense physical and emotional connection. I do enjoy larger cocks, especially ones that are thicker, and the orgasms I have while being fucked are infinitely stronger than any other way. I often come multiple times just from penetration without ever even touching my cock. I get lost in a vortex of pleasure, sensuality, sexuality, the feeling of being stretched open and fucked deep. It’s both sublime and overwhelming at the same time.… Read more »
A bottom should never be touching himself while being fucked. 100% of his focus should be on pleasing and giving pleasure to the top. My pleasure comes from satisfying the top.
The Voice of the Eunuch. Stroking one’s clit is perfectly acceptable. Not everyone has lost the ability to cum
Who said anything about not being able to cum? Nothing better than having the cum literally being fucked out of you. Apparently you need your hand to cum. How sad,
More bottom these days but use to be a top. Being a top in a more physical pleasure. Bottoming is a more mental pleasure. Spiritual pleasure. Giving yourself completely to another man knowing you’re giving him that ultimate pleasure. His body on yours. in yours ! Totally submitting yet trusting! I fuckn love it!
That is why us bottoms are here. There is physical pleasure for the bottom with a good top
How it feels depends a lot on the top. If the top takes his time a works with the bottom it can be an incredible experience. If the top is selfish and inconsiderate it can feel like a Mac truck being rammed up your ass.
A good top is key.
Agree 100%
I like BBC not so much because of physical attributes but my experience has found to be Tops more concerned with my satisfaction than most.
Older giy here mainly top, but love to bottom feel so sexy watching my lover pump his stuff deep inside me, really love to flip with sexy ass lovers
As a total top, I appreciate the true bottoms–who know what works best for them and know how to ensure that the top has a great time. Those who enjoy the sensation of a dick deep in him are absolutely the best. Reconnected with a former bud recently and experienced him in ways that I never had before. It was either the fact that he was super horny, this dick was really good, both of us were ready for a mind-blowing experience, or all of the above. I don’t think the psychological aspect of taking a guy’s manhood deep in… Read more »
Totally agreed. It is all about the pleasure for the Top, and a good bottom makes sure that it happens.
So if I drink a 2 liter Pepsi and void it down your throat to get turned on, that’s okay with you? Let’s hook up
I have topped and bottomed a zillion times, but so far, it has been with one person only. I like both, but preferred bottom. Thankfully, my fuck buddy was patient each time we hooked up and did not just stick it in and start fucking me. He worked his cock into me slowly as my comfort level allowed. He also knew that I got more pleasure from slow all the way in and all the way out strokes rather than being pounded. I was never able to cum just from him fucking me. But my orgasms were much more intense… Read more »
i was the same way with my lover/hook up… he was patient with me.. slow and easy till my hole excepted him with warmth and grip… he would love my hole and not pound it.. that would cum at the end when we where close to climax… i have always loved a slow passion fuck. love making with out the love needed… havent cum yet hands free but cum so much harder with a cock filling me up.
The first time I bottomed, I wasn’t planning on it and wasn’t sure that I wanted to do it. I was sleeping with my bf at the time and he started playing with my cock and ass while I slept. It felt good. He tried pushing his cock into me very gently. It didn’t go in and I finally asked him about what he was doing. I asked if he wanted to fuck and I said ok. I got out of bed to get a condom (now wishing I didn’t get the condom) which disappointed him but he ended up… Read more »
I love my bttm role its about relaxing and let it happen . well lubed is key start slow and finish primal
There is a saying that says to give a good blow job you have to enjoy giving blowjobs. I think it applies to bottoming too. relax, let it happen and enjoy. repeat.
Fits begin with bottoming hsd slways felt like a masculine act I COUKDNT feel more male thsn it has nthingvtonfobeith submisivevorctakingvtye “fema Le toro le” fir me it has slways seemed natural and HIW thinfs worked best. I understand HIW there are dosome eho woukd disagreeei do not use the term total bottom to describe myself every think that gives thecpowervawaydiesntvut?im not bossy butvimnalsonold enoughbtobtememberctwhen there easnt a huge naming need tobudentofyitcwasckinfofcezciyingvto not know as wellbutvthrn tgstvmesntvuouvactuslltvysdctobdoeskbtobsineobe and not just respond to z profile
Fucking is so natural and being the bottom is natural too.
for me being a bottom just feels so good when he is sliding in and out of me and when he climaxes in me it just feels so good
Have Bottomed many times for one or the other of my FWBs. Both use good lube and plenty of it. They take their time. For me personally, Bottoming is only a pleasant massage of my anus and colon. There’s no “WOW!” or any real pleasure. But I do enjoy working them up by tightening my ass as they thrust until orgasm. I’ve turned both to frotting, Missionary face-to-face. I hold their tightly between in my crotch and help them thrust under my balls, along my perinium and anus. In this position we can kiss deeply and hug tightly. I can… Read more »
As a versatile Top I have experienced 3 prostate orgasms well I can say this came to me as a big surprise from my partner .It sent powerful shivers up my spine when his warm cream squirt inside me I could feel it explode pleasure wow and. Lasted a long time .I won’t forget it was s phenomenal fer sure.Is that what the bottoms are after ?I guess so eh?
When I bottom, I am there to please the top. That is 100% of my focus. when I suck I want to give the best blowjob the guy has ever had. When I bottom I want to be the best fuck he ever had. I’m 100% versatile. My place is to suck and to be fucked.
Love a slave. But first pay my gas money, motel bill and my by-the-inch charges. And wear a mask and blinders. Like my fish wet too
To me bottoming is an ethereal experience. It’s a high to know that my body can give another man so much pleasure! I will conform to what will get my top off. In other words, if a top wants to be slow and sensual I can be that bottom. However, if a top likes a submissive little slut I can play that role too. I actually like to be a submissive slut used strictly for the pleasure of my top. Make me suck your cock, face fuck me, and then fuck me hard and plant your seed deep!
I started out as a top, but have morphed into 90% bottom. I find myself more and more enjoying being dominated and rough fucked (within reason). Like to provide enjoyment to a top and feel his excitement and release if he cums inside me. If a top is really getting into it that is hot, I will take his load in my mouth if he wants. Really love being a slut bottom for a horned up stud.
For me to start it was painful..really..I think it was a psychological thing..I used dildos to get myself ready or so I thought. I still to this day need to be opened. I need a top to push in slow..when he does I want it inside..all the way! Another thing is when you feel a top unloading inside you,feeling his cock pulsating inside..to me it’s a feeling like no other! Knowing he felt good!
Did not like bottoming at first, I thought it was because my bf was 9 x 5. Plus he was Mostly bottom and I did enjoy pounding him, After we broke up it still did not enjoy bottom until a friend gave me this advice; as the top is going in push on the cock out like you are trying to “poop” it out. BINGO!
yeah my third or so Top told me this. It had been hard for me and his was a bit of a monster. He told me relax and as you feel it make like you are pooping it out. Snap there it was
I have not done it, and would not, until married, and in a trusting relationship. For one, it is deadly. For two, it would certainly involve pain and discomfort, and for three, I simple do not want to feel like a woman. Four, I don’t want to be enduring it and wondering how long it will take.
When you say, “it would certainly involve pain and discomfort,” your are expressing the ignorance of a person who’s not in touch with his manhole. For many of us, if it didn’t feel so good, we wouldn’t do it. But just remember that men have been fucking each other in the ass for thousands of years (in fact, wasn’t the petrified “ice man” discovered in Europe a few years ago found to evidence of a load up his ass during scientific examination?) and despite many trying to regulate other’s behavior. While it may not be for you (that is, fucking… Read more »
I Enjoy the feeling of a big dick deep inside me and I am still looking
The first time I bottomed, I was VERY young. Now this wasn’t child abuse of any thing like that. We were almost the same age, and for several years we had explored each other’s bodies, but it started with frottage. I don’t know how long it took, but after a while, my partner in crime, talked me into letting him put an ink pen in my butt. Thankfully the ends were rounded, and there wasn’t much chance of danger or puncture. I remembered that I DID NOT LIKE IT, but of course the talked me into doing it again, and… Read more »
Very hot story! Thanks for sharing. You get that penis boyee!!!
If he doesn’t satisfy I’m fixing to take his ass out of spite. Top bes’ be puttin in some work. None of dat premature shit.
Datz the way. First time I caught a bitch slippin in County, ah showed him what dat bussy was fo’. Squeal Piggy!
I’s needs to axe, but were yo in couty, too; or be it da big house for yoself?
I love to bottom it feels good and ive found out that i like em thick cause i love to feel my hole open and stretch out..i dont really like em long to a point but if its both id be in heaven.
have always enjoyed bottoming quite large tend to make me sensitive at first but after moment or so is great love riding slow and feeling cock in me along walls of my passage then when he is done puhing all the way in and filling me
Loved my toys then I went for my first time being fucked and loved it I love being penetrated by a nice cock passionately slow and easy I want to fully feel him cum inside me when its fast and furious you miss out on some of that pleasure
When your head is in the right place to shamelessly admit that you like a cock up your ass and have an experienced and enthusiastic top man who has as much need to fuck as you do, it can come close to paradise when you meld your physical pleasure with the practically mystical experience of true, natural man-to-man sexual expression. So, yeah, even though a versatile guy, I’ve enjoyed bottoming more than topping through the years.
I started bottoming 12 or so years ago. I absolutely love the feeling of a big cock sliding in and out. And I started doing poppers about 6 years ago. It took bottoming to a new level. the connection between my ass and the dick becomes sublime.
I’ve been a vers bottom for many years. I don’t give my ass to many men without seeing some demonstrated trust in men. I’ve had trusted men who gave me a lot of joy when they put their dick in my ass. But I’m not some guy who’s going to a bath house where any random guy can put his ass in me without a 2nd thought. I’m not a slut who doesn’t think twice to make some person isn’t lying about his health history. But I’ve had a lot of dicks in my ass. from a 13 inch long… Read more »
I have never bottomed and the older I get the more I want to bottom.Always wanted to see how wonderful it feels to have a nice cock squirting hot cum in my ass.I have always enjoyed a cock squirting delicious cum down my throat
If I didn’t bottom,I wouldn’t bother with guys at all. Riding an average cock and cummin all over him hands free , I love women, but they don’t make me cum like that.
I just got topped for the first time and it was super weird, it hurt at first and it felt really weird like a weird sensation of pain and another feeling I cant describe, but it was amazing and over way too fast