(Photo Credits: VladOrlov from Shutterstock)
First times are rarely smooth, but when it comes to gay sex, they’re almost always memorable. So, how was it for you? Were you the top or the bottom? One young Balkan guy who is curious about gay sex turned to the internet with his bold question, “How does it feel to get fucked by a man?” He added, “I’m a discreet 19-year-old Balkan guy who has never had sex with a guy. I like men, but since I don’t go to bed with random men, I haven’t had sex before. How does it feel? What is it like afterwards? Both being top and bottom.”
It’s a question many gay and bi men have asked themselves at some point—especially before their first time. What does it actually feel like to top or bottom? How do emotions, connection, and physical chemistry affect the experience? And what advice do experienced guys have for someone who’s curious but cautious?
Anyway, the responses were dripping with details—equal parts sexy, funny, and oh-so-relatable. One gay man summed it up simply, “Feels awesome! Love it. 10/10. Would recommend. Not everyone likes it, though.” Sex, after all, is deeply personal—what’s ecstatic for one person might not be enjoyable for another. But the way he put it speaks to the joy and excitement that a lot of men feel when they finally dive in.
Others shared their journey from awkward first times to genuine pleasure like this guy who shared, “It was definitely uh interesting first time doing it. Felt strange I guess. But after a few more times, I really got into it a lot more and stuff. Being in the right mental state makes a huge difference if you’re going to enjoy it or not. One of the biggest things is wanting to please the other person, and by doing that, you also feel very good.” That “strange” feeling is common at the start, but with patience, comfort, and openness, it can become something intensely pleasurable.
Practical advice came through, too. One guy said, “If it is big, it’ll probably hurt. Have him go slowly. Use lots of lubes. ‘Spoons’ (side by side) might be more comfortable. If it is not large, you need no special instructions.” The message? Preparation and communication matter. Everybody is different, and easing into it with the right lube, position, and pace makes a world of difference.
Some men described the experience in more primal terms, like this guy who revealed, “Addictive whether you get penetrated or you’re doing the penetration.” The intensity, the closeness, and the raw sensation can leave people craving more—sometimes immediately after.
There was also some humor and local flavor in the conversation. One guy replied, “LOL, I am Balkan, and was in the Balkans last year. Lots of discreet guys… maybe just have sex with a traveler and not a local.” Another chimed in with: “The Balkans have a lot of macho men with thick bodies and dicks. If I were you, I’d be all over them. That being said, you’re only 19, and I didn’t lose my virginity until 25.” Both point to cultural and regional realities—discretion, masculinity, and timing all play roles in how and when men explore their sexuality.
And then there’s the playful analogy coming from this guy who shared, “It’s kind of like putting on your summer clothes after putting on a few pounds in winter. A little tight at first, but then you get used to it and your body adjusts. Afterwards, it gets a little complicated if they want to play chess. I’ve never been good at chess, and most guys aren’t interested in playing UNO for some reason. Bottom gets to pick the game after sex, but that’s the only difference really.” Humor like this reflects how many men look back at their first times with both fondness and laughter.
Sex is as much about fun as it is about sensation. For some, it’s sweaty, passionate, and physical. For others, it’s emotional, spiritual, or funny in ways you can’t predict. But no matter how it unfolds, your first time—and every time after—comes with lessons about yourself and what you enjoy.
Having said all that, first times can be messy, magical, or downright mind-blowing—but they’re always worth talking about. So tell us, Adam4Adam blog readers: how did your first time go? What was your first time like—topping, bottoming, or both? Did it match your expectations, or did it surprise you? Any advice for curious first-timers like our Balkan friend, or maybe a funny disaster story? Whether you’re a seasoned top, a power bottom, or still waiting for that moment, spill it in the comments section down below—we’re listening.
