Speak Out: What’s a Turn On to Most Gay Men That You Find Unsexy?

(Photo Credits: alexkoral from Shutterstock)

When it comes to desire, no two gay men are alike so what’s a major turn-on for one guy can be an instant turn-off for another. This means that for every guy who finds something irresistible, there’s another quietly cringing, wondering, “Is it just me?” One gay man recently sparked a fascinating online conversation when he asked, “What’s a turn on to everyone that turns you off?” He explained, “For example, a turn off for me and no offense I mean no harm, it’s jockstraps. IDK why, it’s just a turn off FOR ME. I prefer boxers.”

That honest question opened the floodgates. Gay men chimed in with their own “unpopular opinions” about the kinds of kinks, aesthetics, or bedroom behaviors that seem to be widely loved—except by them. And what they revealed says a lot about the diversity of taste in our community.

One guy responded, “Stockings and panties.” Some gay men feel there’s nothing sexy about traditionally feminine lingerie on men. For this commenter, the mix of gender signals just didn’t do it. It wasn’t judgment—it just didn’t turn them on.

Another shared, “Fisting, how is that even humanly possible.” He wasn’t shaming anyone. But for some, the idea of something so physically extreme simply sparks discomfort rather than arousal.

This man on the other hand, has a especially modern complain, “People sending butt hole pics.” Many of us have gotten that unsolicited close-up. To some, it’s hot. To others, it’s off-putting, especially when sent without consent.

Meanwhile, a guy added bluntly: “Femboys.” It’s a term that’s grown more visible online for someone who’s cute, soft, sometimes androgynous. But not everyone is into it. Some gay men prefer masculine guys, and that’s okay too.

Further, there’s this response: “Choking.” Rough play can be a major turn-on for some, but not everyone is into breath play. For others, it’s not sexy—it’s scary.

The drag world also showed up in the responses. One commenter said, “Sissy, drag.” For him, this kind of performative femininity during sex wasn’t arousing. Again, not about hate—just about preference.

Another guy offered a double whammy of things he couldn’t stand: “Over the top screaming. It’s okay, the sex is good, but please don’t scream like a cheap porn actor.”
And he added: “Feet are just ugh.” While some men are into vocal expression and foot play, this guy preferred a quieter room and socks on.

What’s striking about all these answers isn’t the dislike itself—it’s the honesty. In a community where trends and beauty standards shift quickly and certain “types” dominate online spaces, it’s refreshing to see people speak up about what doesn’t turn them on without shame.

So, Adam4Adam blog readers—we want to hear from you. What’s the one thing most gay men seem to love that you just can’t get into? Is there a kink, look, or behavior that turns you off—while others go wild for it? Have you ever felt like the odd one out in bed or online for not being into something “everyone” loves? Drop your thoughts in the comments section down below.