(Photo Credits: alexkoral from Shutterstock)
When it comes to desire, no two gay men are alike so what’s a major turn-on for one guy can be an instant turn-off for another. This means that for every guy who finds something irresistible, there’s another quietly cringing, wondering, “Is it just me?” One gay man recently sparked a fascinating online conversation when he asked, “What’s a turn on to everyone that turns you off?” He explained, “For example, a turn off for me and no offense I mean no harm, it’s jockstraps. IDK why, it’s just a turn off FOR ME. I prefer boxers.”
That honest question opened the floodgates. Gay men chimed in with their own “unpopular opinions” about the kinds of kinks, aesthetics, or bedroom behaviors that seem to be widely loved—except by them. And what they revealed says a lot about the diversity of taste in our community.
One guy responded, “Stockings and panties.” Some gay men feel there’s nothing sexy about traditionally feminine lingerie on men. For this commenter, the mix of gender signals just didn’t do it. It wasn’t judgment—it just didn’t turn them on.
Another shared, “Fisting, how is that even humanly possible.” He wasn’t shaming anyone. But for some, the idea of something so physically extreme simply sparks discomfort rather than arousal.
This man on the other hand, has a especially modern complain, “People sending butt hole pics.” Many of us have gotten that unsolicited close-up. To some, it’s hot. To others, it’s off-putting, especially when sent without consent.
Meanwhile, a guy added bluntly: “Femboys.” It’s a term that’s grown more visible online for someone who’s cute, soft, sometimes androgynous. But not everyone is into it. Some gay men prefer masculine guys, and that’s okay too.
Further, there’s this response: “Choking.” Rough play can be a major turn-on for some, but not everyone is into breath play. For others, it’s not sexy—it’s scary.
The drag world also showed up in the responses. One commenter said, “Sissy, drag.” For him, this kind of performative femininity during sex wasn’t arousing. Again, not about hate—just about preference.
Another guy offered a double whammy of things he couldn’t stand: “Over the top screaming. It’s okay, the sex is good, but please don’t scream like a cheap porn actor.”
And he added: “Feet are just ugh.” While some men are into vocal expression and foot play, this guy preferred a quieter room and socks on.
What’s striking about all these answers isn’t the dislike itself—it’s the honesty. In a community where trends and beauty standards shift quickly and certain “types” dominate online spaces, it’s refreshing to see people speak up about what doesn’t turn them on without shame.
So, Adam4Adam blog readers—we want to hear from you. What’s the one thing most gay men seem to love that you just can’t get into? Is there a kink, look, or behavior that turns you off—while others go wild for it? Have you ever felt like the odd one out in bed or online for not being into something “everyone” loves? Drop your thoughts in the comments section down below.
Shaving pubes! Like a thick haiyr bush. Underarm hair. A hair ass!
OMG – you beat me to the punch! I won’t hook up with anyone who shaves any body parts other than the face. I am forever haunted by something that happened about 25 years ago when I pulled down a guy’s pants and as I went down on him, I noticed he had probably shaved off his dick hair 1 to 3 days earlier. So it was all nubby and totally grossed me out! In my mid-60s, I know I’m in the minority these days, but leave the body shaving to women please.
Am good with a guy that maintains his pubes and ball sack with appropriate trimming to just to keep things evened up.
Since I’m attracted to traditional men, underarm and ass hair can just do their natural thing. Don’t know of any but if a guy is an overall hairy beast, I’m onboard with that. If a guy has a rug on his body head to toe … I’ll happy to spend time running my fingers (and more) through it. Especially, in during a shower to start.
(ok, sorry. need to go. hunter jr is asking for attention)
Twinks. Nothing against them. I just don’t have any sexual attraction for them. They remind me of young boys, sometimes girls, even if they’re a few years older then 21.
not even a Hostess Twinkie?
Nice, but they do little for my appetite for Big Macs. Whoppers, and Peanut Busters.
Subway? Kentucky Fried Chicken? Pizza Hut? Dunkin’ Doughnuts?
I have too many turnoffs, but here’s what’s top of mind: fisting, butthole pics, caging, women’s attire, earrings and other variations, cock piercings and other variations, fem boys and makeup, long hair, underwear style with butt cutout (don’t know the name, but not jockstrap because i love jockstraps), cologne, shaved bodies.
That’s why I love being single!
I forgot to add: plucking eyebrows, or whatever the term is when men thin out their brows. because all i see is woman, and i am not attracted to that.
When I see any guy (especially celebrities) with the space between their brows shaved as well as the outside ends of their brows pointed … “dude, what were you thinking?”
anal sex don’t like it never did never will just don’t see the logic or the pleasure of someone putting a pole up my hole fingering doesn’t cut it either
Turn offs:
Shaved bodies.
Fisting
Cock rings
Harnesses
Overweight
Bad hygiene
Asshole pics
Turn ons:
Natural body hair
Pubes/trimmed ok
Eyes
Smile
Avg cock size
Avg height weight
Kindness
Water Sports?
If a purse falls out his mouth when he speaks. Time to take off like Speed RACER!
I have two. The first is the obsession with youth. My husband says as long as they’re legal but maybe it’s because I’m a father, I find the idea of anyone in my kids demographic appallingly sad to be anything more than a friend or mentor to. The irony is they don’t share my concern and are rather insistent it doesn’t matter but it’s a very hard (no pun) NO for me. Which bring me to the second. Super superficiality. Look, I most assuredly found my husband attractive from the start but what made him drop dead gorgeous and turn… Read more »
Wow, you had sex with Steven A Smith??? ( that’s really cool )
Unpopular opinions/turnoffs for me: Shaved pubes Excessive tatts (you’re a human being, not a billboard) Fisting Foot fetish Spitting (WTF is that about?!) Effeminate twinks in make-up (most effeminate guys, actually, but esp. twinks) Guys who have to wear women’s underwear/clothes in order to feel sexy Trans men (sorry guys, dick-loving homosexual here) Obsession with RuPaul’s Drag Race (I appreciate the artistic effort, but it doesn’t interest me at all) Heavy recreational drug use (good sex is supposed to be the high) Most leather/harness type gear (I like to connect with a man, not a Byzantine artwork) Body piercings other… Read more »
I am not sure most gay men do it, but I hate it when any man refers to my ass, or any guys ass, as a pussy. Men have assholes…women have pussies! If I wanted a pussy I would be straight. Even if I was BI I would not want my ass to be called a pussy. Nothing would get me limp as fast as saying you love my pussy while fucking me….that would end the sex then and there.
I don’t mean to be politically incorrect here and god bless those who face a hostile world because of how they present themselves, but I have just never understood the appeal of trans, dressing in panties, acting effeminate, etc. I’m bi and the (sexual) appeal to men for me is their “maleness.” If I want females, I have my wife.
Turnoffs: Cross dressing. Trannies etc, drag queens. Bad hygiene. Gym monkey bods. Giant dicks. Skin tags. Feet. Toys. Felching, etc. Too many piercings. Arrogant pricks. Too rough. Too much pop culture. Turnons: Average dicks and bods. Intelligence. Hygiene. Lots of ink, or none. Discretion.
“Man scent” and anything related to sweaty, unbathed, funk, etc. Hard no. You could probably 86 the heavy cologne too. I prefer a fresh, just out of the shower, going on a date kind of smell, or… wait for it…nothing.
Beards are awful. Shaggy , dirty, smelly. Impossible to make look good. And they hide the face–which is all important. A good looking lean guy can sometimes get away with a 3 day scruff, but not usually.