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The role of a dom top has intrigued many, including those who might not naturally lean toward dominance in the bedroom. Many gay and bisexual men online who are on the sub side or a curious switch, have wondered: what do dom tops enjoy about their role, and why are they so popular among bottoms?
But first off, what is a dom top?
In BDSM, a dom top is a dominant partner who takes control during intimate encounters, typically leading and setting the tone. They often enjoy guiding their partner’s experience, focusing on providing pleasure while maintaining authority. This role appeals to those who enjoy being assertive and taking charge, enhancing both partners’ connection and excitement.
For many dom tops, there’s often a mix of personality, experience, and desire. For some, it’s an almost automatic inclination. “Have always been the dom but can’t explain why. Seemed to be the default position for me,” one dom top explained. This sense of ease and natural inclination allows doms to embrace a leading role comfortably, bringing both confidence and satisfaction into their intimate encounters.
But what is it about being in control that draws dom tops? For many, it’s the rush of directing an experience. As one dom top described, “Witnessing someone really submit & give you control over their entire body… it’s wonderful.” This dynamic creates a unique experience where both partners can explore trust and vulnerability, with the sub yielding control and the dom taking charge, all while mutual pleasure is the goal.
The allure for many dom tops lies in the sub’s willingness to be led. “Someone is down for them to do the things that the dom wants to do to them,” a dom explained. “An enthusiastic partner is fun for everyone. It lets us unleash ourselves during sex instead of being self-conscious.” This freedom to fully immerse oneself is highly appealing and can lead to thrilling, uninhibited experiences that benefit both partners.
In addition to satisfaction, there’s also a deep sense of responsibility and trust that dom tops enjoy. They feel empowered when their partner trusts them with control, creating a rewarding experience as they lead their sub through the dance of pleasure. As one dom stated, “It’s about control… The appeal is being able to have the experience I want with someone who’s happy to give me that experience.”
Having said all that, bottoms, what about dom tops appeals to you? Some may enjoy the thrill of letting go, while others crave the feeling of being cherished and looked after by a partner who takes control. This exchange of power is a fascinating and integral part of the dom/sub dynamic that keeps things in the bedroom exciting and fresh.
Whether you’re a dom top or simply interested in exploring, understanding these perspectives can deepen connections and inspire new levels of trust. So, Adam4Adam readers, are you a dom top? Or a bottom who loves doms? What draws you to the role of the dom top or the appeal of yielding to one? We’d love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
I’m a bottom and recently tried the sub thing, I liked it. I’m looking forward to doing it again and perhaps a future lifestyle
I’m married and very dominant , from my understanding women want a dominant alpha male, but I’m also a very discreet closet 100%bottom, and I’m very submissive when with dominant men,, I prefer a dominant verbal top, the kinda top that’ll take make you his bitch, make his bottom suck his dick then fuck him like a bitch while calling him a bitch,, big turn on for me when a dominant top tell me to suck that dick bitch or open the ass up bitch,, I’m not sure why it turns me on but , that’s what I like, I… Read more »
Alpha vs Beta? one looks down; one looks up they are sexual positions not defining personal traits
Neither is a sexual position…but defined as personality types. The alpha and beta male labels are often used to describe two distinct personality types. Alpha males are often seen as confident, assertive leaders, while beta males are more introspective and sensitive. While these labels can be helpful, they can also be limiting and overly simplistic, and there are many other types of male personalities that exist. When it comes to understanding male personalities, the terms “alpha” and “beta” are often used to describe two different types of men. These terms have their roots in ethology, the study of animal behavior,… Read more »
I love a Dom top I like to be told what to do because I am a pussy bottom
The Dom Top is sort of cliche. Power exchange has many more dimensions than just the directed bottom. Is someone being used for the pleasure of a top, or is a bottom actually controlling the action? Is a bottom there to get him off (the top)? The stereotype Dom Top/Alpha dude looking for a dick rag is a different beast when pictured through the lenses of power exchange. Some bottoms are Pleasure Doms, whose role maybe a receptacle, but mission is the dominance of getting a load. Tops don’t even know the difference, only needing a nice place to squirt… Read more »
supply & Demand curve
I love a Dom black top. I submit to BBC often.
No, I am a bottom and have no interest in Dom Tops. Tried before and it was all about him and it was more abuse than pleasure. Sucks because he was hot and had a beautiful cock, but just wasn’t worth it.
Agreed. If we can’t fuck as equals we might end up fighting instead. He can think he’s dom because he’s cramming his dick in me but if he gets the idea he’s gonna force me or make me hurt there will be consequences.
“If he’s a Top, he’s Dom. If he’s a Bottom, he’s not.”
Stereotype much?
A Rhyme? Add a few more lines and you can try creating a Limerick?
As a nacheral born and enthusiastic top it is my opinion that BOTTOMS RULE!… no matter who is throwing whom around. I’m 6 foot, over 200#, I’m strong, I love men, and I’m pretty sure, if I get on ya and start taking care of bidness… you’ll be very aware that a big bull of a man is holding you down, buttfucking, and inseminating your guts. But I don’t have a mean bone in my body (jus’ that big frenly one). It fukin’ makes my knees buckle that a buddy’ll go butt up and willin’… I live for that moment… Read more »
You can slide in me anyime thug!
Yeah, wanna date?
I have to say, I started very Young. I used to go to the peep show stores. the had glory holes. at first I didn’t know what that was for, but as time went on I learned. anyway, for the first few years, I just let all the guys suck me off. and it was fun. but after a while I though that I should give back. so I started to return the favor. it did take a while for me to get used to it. I still remember my first time sucking a cock. at first, I was a… Read more »
There’s an old rule I have based on what the people at the HIV/AIDS clinic told me: Spit or swallow, don’t play with it in your mouth. Now, after many years of hook ups and sucking random dicks, I would add that it appears somewhat difficult to acquire HIV through oral sex though it’s not impossible. My recommendation would be to follow that old rule if you don’t know the guy well enough to know if he’s full of lies or not. Secondly, maintain good oral hygiene and don’t go suck random dicks if you have an injury inside your… Read more »
since I didn’t really know how or what to do, I need a Dom. someone who can take me and do want he wants. I like to be told what to do. I am kind of shy, I was a bit scared, and not really knowing what to do, so I need and want someone who know what to do to me. and since I didn’t know what I had to do, I would let the guy show me what he wanted. as he started to rub my cock, I would do the same. I wouldn’t say a word. just… Read more »
there is something magical about letting go of control
I refer to myself as a “soft dom”. I’m a bit on the aggressive side but still sensitive.
I have been with several Dom Tops in my life, until i got tired of the whole thing. The article mentions Dom Tops are confident….they are anything but, no such thing. They may try to project that, but Dom Tops are not confident people. Being with an experienced top is just fine. It’s 2024….not sure why we are even talking about ” dominant” or ” domination”.
I’m more of a laid back kind of guy, a former top but due to health issues I’m now mostly a bottom. As a top I was essentially in charge of where we were going sexually although I’d hardly say it was being dominant. Now as a bottom I’m finding that many of these so called dominant tops (at least that’s what the say online) end up being more submissive, and wishy-washy, and I end up being the Dom Bottom.