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What does it mean to be desirable in the LGBTQ+ world?
In a recent post on the popular subreddit askgaybros, a user posed a thought-provoking question that sparked a lively discussion: “What are the top 3 characteristics most desired in the gay community according to your experience?” This question delved into the perceptions and experiences of individuals within the LGBTQ+ community, highlighting how certain traits are often valued.
The user shared their own perspective, listing their top three traits as follows: “1- Being White 2- Being Muscular 3- Being Young.” These characteristics, he said, reflect common stereotypes and preferences that are often discussed within the community. The original poster (OP) also mentioned their hesitation between including “dick size” and “masculinity” as potential contenders, further emphasizing the complexity and variety of preferences within the gay community.
Do you agree with OP? Why or why not?
His question serves as a catalyst for a broader conversation about desirability and standards within the LGBTQ+ community. The emphasis on being white, muscular, and young aligns with many of the conventional standards of beauty and attraction that are prevalent in broader society. These standards can be seen in media representation, dating apps, and social interactions, where certain traits are often glorified while others are marginalized.
The mention of “dick size” and “masculinity” also touches on another layer of complexity. These aspects are often linked to societal perceptions of masculinity and sexual prowess, which can influence how individuals perceive themselves and others. The conversation around these traits highlights the pressures and expectations that exist within the community, which can sometimes perpetuate unrealistic or narrow standards of beauty and attraction.
It’s important to recognize that while these characteristics may be commonly discussed, they do not define the entirety of the gay experience or the diversity of preferences within the community. Each individual’s attractions and desires are unique, shaped by personal experiences, cultural backgrounds, and individual values.
Anyway, the responses to the Reddit post varied, with some users agreeing with the listed traits while others shared different perspectives.
Specifically, one respondent shared, “The muscular kind of. What I’ve found specifically is that their pecs need to stick out further than their stomach with proportional arms. If you have that, then you’re golden.” On the other hand, someone replied, “In my personal experience, it’s youth. It’s hella creepy how many more guys I pulled at 16 than 26.” Meanwhile, another gay man replied, “It depends on age. My reference is three things I like about my husband, I guess. 1 – he is a career man and intelligent. 2 – he is emotionally available and has a sense of humor. 3 – complimenting number 2, his emotional availability also makes him vulnerable in the bedroom. He stays in decent shape and has a nice, curved cock.” This diversity of opinions underscores the fact that the gay community is not monolithic; it is made up of individuals with a wide range of experiences and preferences.
Having said all that, what about you, guys? What for you are are some characteristics or attractive traits of an ideal partner or boyfriend? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Younger beautiful bodies to have hot safe sex with – that’s it. I leave the whole gay life/lifestyle to gay guys; not my scene and I’d have nothing to bring to the table. Have to go back home to the wife and kiddies.
There are lots of gerontophiles out there looking for older/younger relationships, as well as older looking for those “younger beautiful bodies” you mention. It’s not a one size fits all for every guy…bi or gay.
Bring them on.
Correct and there’s another site I won’t mention here, but let’s just say it’s sort of the opposite of “gold mommies.”
I agree!
1. A guy who understands the importance of a decent profile and knows how to build one. That says much about his character.
2. A guy who understands good hygiene and safe sex.
3. A guy who is looking for FWB relationships and who knows how to have mutually enjoyable sexual experiences with partners. That also says much about his character.
All of that – but IN DREAMS for too many cause IN REALITY….NOPE! :-\
I agree with your list here, and will add a crucial item 1A, 2A or 3A (place it wherever you see fit): A guy who will continue to carry on a steady and productive dialog on a4a with me in hopes of moving the convo from “nice to meet you” to “I can meet at XX hours at YY place, can you meet me there then?” and not just go silent just as things start to heat up.
Once you get past the shallow things you build a connection with the beauty on the inside. My man is patient and kind and understands duty since he looks after his mother. We spend as much time laughing in bed as we do making love. He is smart and can fix just about anything. He’s the guy next door, not flamboyant but not ashamed of loving me. I love his hairy chest and his moustache, but he’d be just as great without them. When looks fade and the body ages you still have the best part of him and many… Read more »
Having the body of an Adonis or a Dick of Death ISN’T the world. They may be fun for a few years, but then what happens when the person ages? Most guys with these attributes would be better off keeping their mouths shut as their self-centered, bitchy arrogant selves comes shining through, making them far less attractive than they THINK they are. Give me an average bloke any day. Look you the human person inside and you’re likely to find your prince. Someone full of love, respect, kindness and willing to share his life with you. It takes work to… Read more »
Then why are you on Adam4Adam? You won’t find anyone better…
Hey Father. I’ve actually friended up with several average guys through A4A. Have had to shovel through 100 (or so it seemed like) that many liars and fakes and flakes. But they’re great men so it was worth the work.
“Was there for 33 years'” you figure it out.
Amen Tim, I get you completely. And in today’s society, having a truely long-term relationship gay or straight, is a feat in itself. Like any relationship, it takes two, and regardless if it is with your parents, cousins, and or mail carrer, both sides have to contribute. So with so many distractions today, I applaude any couple married or not, that are in a relationship that will go the distance.
I list in my profile what I am interested in. I like to make love with a nice Guy!! Someone that enjoys sex. I’m really not a top or bottom. I always met and have a conversation with anyone I have SEX with. A NICE GUY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, In the first meeting I tell him what my interests are sexually. If He tells me his interests GREAT. So looks and age have nothing to do with my decision to go to bed with a stranger. A NICE GUY IS GOING TO GET MY FULL ATTENTION.
DICK…………….
COCK……..
RIGHT!!!!!
Mouth.
CREAM
Well in the end that’s the best part!!!!
And ASS….
RIGHT!!!!!
WITH CREAM
RIGHT!!!!
ALRIGHT!!!
The slugs of reddit don’t represent the lgb… community
Reality is, men are not good at anything long-term. Doesn’t matter if they’re Straight or Gay. Social pressures for years worked on Straight men when it came to one-and-only partners. OK, to some extent. Gay men, in general, want to be gay and free and do whatever they with with whoever (whomever?) they wish). After all, it’s the right, they cry, to be sexually free. So when it comes to Gay men, in general, what they want is to have sex with whatever guy for whatever reason turns them on, trips their trigger, or who the “find chemistry with” on… Read more »
Hunter0500, Are you a straight male or female that is making statements remarking how well you know gay men (generally speaking)? Of those in my community that I know personally, it is the desire for the majority of them to find a forever mate. Sure having multiple partners and not giving much thought to the long-term lifestyle that may be ahead of them makes life a lot more exciting. But that excitement eventually fades due for the most part on the familiarity of the social scene. Over the past 40 years there have been outside influences that have gay men… Read more »
Gay man, married to a woman. Been having sex with men for almost 20 years. Have several regular buds that I’ve know for 10-15 years. Of all the Gay guys of met, less than 5% have said they were looking to date or find a forever partner. I discuss the intentions of all guys before meeting them. Since I’m not looking for a forever partner, I don’t pursue or meet those that state they are in a profile. In my community that I know personally, most of the guys prefer Friends With Benefits in relationships that endure, but have noting… Read more »
That is a difficult question to answer. I find that I don’t always desire the same thing. Sometimes a hung guy to top my ass is what I need, sometimes I need a hot ass to top. Other times I would just like to have a masculine guy to lie down with and cuddle. My mood, and my partner’s mood both play a part in the equation. Physical attributes are interesting but not nearly as important as emotional stability. For me, party animals are like a moth to a flame. Quick to burn out and become annoying. Nothing is worse… Read more »
The problem is the question. What is a date to you, the reader of the question? I’m not looking for a long term relationship, so “date” is probably wrong. I’m looking for friends, encounters, and importantly, sex. Relationships and commitments to them is a partnering. It’s a trust between people, sometimes the outcome of dating, and qualifying people for that role. Another vector is sex. I’m never going to be monogamous; this means that partnering happens at another level, a different type of commitment, the person you come home to, share the travails of life, perhaps life long. I make… Read more »
I’m not to sure about calling out folks who may be picky, it usually turns out the people who point the finger out end up being the mist picky of all. I think the community can drift especially in regards to what theme happens to be deemed popular at the moment. It’s not a suprise that trans and bi sexual or hetero sexual s take the cake , but I’m not attracted toward physical appearances of anything female, and health concerns may cause issues if bi sexual s hit me up and I just take it as wishful thinking but… Read more »
Overall physical attractiveness, masculinity, good hygiene, good character, honesty, sexual compatibility (open-minded), flexible-top & bottom, emotionally present/available/intelligent and healthy (you’d be surprised, not pleasantly either).
Ok….as a bi guy it’s all about the sex. I’m not looking for an emotional relationship from another man. I am looking to savor and enjoy the man on man action that activates something totally different than when I’m with a woman. I don’t seek one over the other and one is not a replacement of the other. For me they are both different and amazing in their own way. What do I look for? A Guy that is physically attractive to me, a guy that enjoys the playtime and is 100% engaged in it. I do like it when… Read more »
This is 100% me but I continue to have arguments with people that don’t get it. So many people think “gay is gay”, drives me nuts. Whole spectrum of sexuality… Your comments are exactly how I view it. There’s a physicality to it that can’t be replicated in either direction – two separate things that can have separate overtones, undertones and drives. Just enjoy the ride.
This describes me also very well! It’s all about the sex. Someone with a good sexual connection is a lot of fun and makes it so hot!
Not sure what happened to my reply, but it never appeared here.
Your comment describes me very well! I’m bi and just in it for the hot sex! I want someone who I have a good sexual connection with. Someone who brings energy into bed and isn’t afraid to have fun.
I agree 100%. I like to have my cock sucked but I really enjoy providing oral pleasure and swallowing his cum!! As long as he is attractive, not overweight, has a nice cock (over 6 generally) and appreciates the service he is reviewing. I am open on age, race, clean, etc. I do have a preference for cut but not a deal breaker!! Let me suck that cock!! And he can suck me if he wants!!
That is me too i 100% agree with everything you said I am BI and can say that about me
What do bi and gay men want? Sex with those they’re attracted to!
as a bi married man i look for a partner who is safe sane and discreet
I agree
I love younger beautiful bodies that want safe sex. I am amazed how many younger beautiful guys really want sex with me! I am thankful for those young gorgeous men!
For me it started with animal magnatism. Then it was how soon he was to laugh and third was if he liked my cooking. I walked into a bar after hathat smileving a physical brawl with the newly ex boyfriend. And there he was, beautiful red hair and the bluist eyes ever to look into mine. He was behind the bar asking me what I would like all the while flashing the most handsome smile and a flashy twinkle in his eyes. I requested a beer and some quarters for the pinball machine. As I played pinball I had a… Read more »
What do bi men want? To have sex with men and go home to their wives pretending nothing happened
Yep you are absolutely right,, I mean if everyone in protected and no one is getting hurt why would I need to tell her I’ve been getting fucked ?
Many bisexual guys are single.
Reports of wives knowing are growing.
Couples who “swing” have been around for decades.
Unfortunately, “The Community” still looks down with disdain on bisexuals. And “The Community” , especially the G part, continues to demand respect and inclusion, but then turns around and puts down others who just don’t march in their straight (no pun intended), lockstep line. Bisexuals, fortunately, don’t seem to be affected by the negative treatment.
As married man (to a woman) I think I have what I want,, that’s a straight acting top that has his own place,, it’s somewhere I can go and lay up for a few hours,,he has a big dick I can suck on and I can ride it for as long as I want,,, we’ve been in a relationship for a while now,, sometimes I just like to get naked and suck his dick and just lay in his arms for a few hours then go home,,unless we go on a imaginary fishing trip,, that’s when I spent the night,,… Read more »
Butch or nelly… I could care less, as long as their fuck tube is tight and grippy. Every fuck feels great, but some feel greater than others. The best ever, felt like he had 3 sphincters in a row and I also always liked hitting the secondary sphincter at the back of the fuck tube with my 9 inch (22.86 centimeters) cock. Popping in and out of the back sphincter with my cock head feels amazing.
I’ve had sex with thousands of the most beautiful men on the planet. Dozens of porn stars and even one big Hollywood star (married with 3 kids). I’ve had long term relation ships with the most intelligent and fun sexy men too. I’ve been married for 30 years to a super hot and nice man who caters to my every whim and who holds a PhD from the Imperial Collage in London. We fuck 3 times a week even now (used to be 4-5 times but I’m older and slower now). He was making 500K a year before he retired,… Read more »
And the human trafficking trips to Southeast Asia you’ve bragged about
Wow…..a lot of superfluous detail that seemed more a cry out for attention!
Not sure what that was all about.
1-NO. No racial requirements
2-NO Doesn’t have to be muscular. Average is quite fine in my book
3-NO Any age (legal, of course) is fine. Mentally & emotionally mature is more important.
I’ve had “pretty,” “muscled,” and “younger” in the past. They don’t have to learn how to develop a personality. The “look at me, pay attention to me because I’m hot and hung” thing gets old really fast. It is much more important to be able to carry on a conversation, make each other laugh, make each other feel good and safe and loved.