(Photo Credits: Andrey_Popov from Shutterstock)
A4A blog readers, how old are you right now, and do you agree to the statement above: that it is harder to find love after 40? Moreover, how is finding love and/or falling in love at that age is like compared to when you were younger?
Others say that in the gay community, it might be harder to find love after 40 because of the following challenges:
1. Ageism:
Ageism is prevalent in society, but more so within the LGBTQ+ community. Some gay men may face stereotypes or discriminatory attitudes based on their age, impacting their self-esteem and how they are perceived in dating circles.
2. Youth-Centric Culture:
The LGBTQ+ community, like broader society, can sometimes prioritize youth and physical appearance. This emphasis may create challenges for us older individuals who may feel they don’t align with prevailing beauty standards or face pressure to conform to a more youthful image.
3. Limited Social Spaces:
Traditional social spaces for meeting potential partners, such as bars and clubs, may be geared more toward younger demographics. Older individuals might find fewer environments where they feel comfortable meeting new people.
4. Relationship History and Baggage:
Individuals over 40 often come with a history of relationships, possibly including past marriages or long-term partnerships. Negotiating the complexities of previous commitments can add layers of consideration when entering new relationships.
5. Technology Learning Curve:
Dating apps and online platforms like Adam4Adam have become prevalent in the quest for love. Older individuals may find the digital landscape challenging to navigate or might encounter age-related biases on these platforms.
6. Narrower Dating Pool:
Statistically, there might be a smaller dating pool for individuals over 40, particularly if they reside in areas with fewer LGBTQ+ residents. This limitation can make finding compatible partners more challenging.
7. Fear of Rejection:
Some individuals may harbor fears of rejection or struggle with the perceived stigma of dating at an older age. This fear can be a barrier to putting themselves out there and actively seeking new connections.
It’s important to note that while these challenges exist for some, many individuals find fulfilling and loving relationships after 40. The perception of difficulty may be influenced by societal attitudes, individual confidence, and the local LGBTQ+ community’s inclusivity. As societal views continue to evolve, the narrative around love and relationships for individuals over 40 in the gay community is gradually shifting. Do you agree with this, guys? Or do you find it harder to look for love after 40? Share with us your thoughts and stories below!
Sure as hell harder to find a top.
You know, I think many older guys cannot get hard anymore, the only way to get off now, is direct prostate stimulus through anal entry, I suspect, anyway.
Lamar: All males – eventually – find it increasingly difficult to either grow or sustain a stiff penis. It has to do with “Atherosclerosis” which is the thickening or hardening of the arteries. It is caused by a buildup of plaque in the inner lining of an artery. It is also, diabetes, too. Also, someone 49 or older already had a degree of Atherosclerosis present and the penis is fed through veins and capillaries. It is the curse of Mankind and the larger the penis, the more pronounced is the inability to perform. Size, prized when you becomes an albatross when… Read more »
Hardness does not prerequisite happiness. Too many guys get all whiney pissy stupid because their or a partner’s cock isn’t steel hard. Lately I’ve had awesome toe-curling body-spasming experiences with FWBs who have orally or with their hands spent attentive time on my cock when less than steel. Maybe because I’ve cum recently or maybe physically today just wasn’t in the physiological card deck. Repeated orgasms (dry, the feeling thereof) result. Quickly I learned to add this tool to my toolbox in treating them. Shooting a load with a hard cock is great, but there are other opportunities that make… Read more »
Agree Hunter0500.
However, I was making a general comment on the Blog’s title not providing the
definitive “Cure-all” comment!
You know, I think my diet, no meds, has a lot to do being able, still.
Medications like clonodine also cause impotence. But one can cum while softer, and the partner can stimulate the blood flow, prostate is not required.
Padre:
My intent was to answer the Blog generally.
I worked well within The Healthcare System as a “Medic”. I am aware of such
alternatives.
Nobody is as hard at my age, as when we were young ‘fact’, but I can and do, ‘still’ get a really good erection enough to hump the fuck out of my bed, sometimes twice a day, not as much cum, but I still do, cum; just grateful as hell. . . one day, though, I know, just preparing mentally-spiritually, realistically. “Blessed.”
humm…at what age do you consider a guy “older” for the reason you suspect? A 40 yr old man can definitely experience ED and/or prostate problems.
Well, what do you consider older? It depends on one’s current age, what is considered older. At 20; 40 is older, right?
I think when one ‘regularly’ has erection problems at a certain age that’s considered a “mature or a man of a certain age” can be considered “older.”
Even young men, from to time, might experience a temporary non-erection.
*ROTFLMAO* Coming from a total top, I can never find a bottom.
You should post your location. There are a lot of guys who would flock to such a top-heavy place!
I can find a lot of bottoms in the NY/NJ area. The problem is that the guys to whom I’m most attracted often turn out to be tops, too!
In Ga. about an hr. from the Fl. border.
But also had little luck when living in Atlanta.
you just ran into the wrong ones, I find it hard to get at TOP to fully satisfy me!
Haha. This sounds insane to me. I’m SoCal, there are bottoms by the gazillions! You’ll be heaven. As an older versatile top, I almost forgot what bottoming feels like.
SoCal has a BIGGER population than S. Ga. & Atlanta.
I’m also guessing a bigger gay population too.
The Solution?
Buy a “Variety Of Toys”
manufactured –
to step in –
until
you find a Top!
That’s no fun….. you want to feel the breath of a person on your body and the heat that body has not to mention hear the sound of the person’s voice when they come as well as feel the weight of that body pressing against your own! These things cannot be imitated by toys no matter how much they try until they are like MARVEL’s Vision … you think the Scarlet Witch didn’t go for all the things I just mentioned along with a great personality!
Freddie:
We can’t always get what we want –
so
in
the interim –
we
improvise!
there’s always a FLESHLIGHT or FLESHJACK, honey (when all else fails and you’re as horny as a nympho)
All of those are factors but if you’re over 40 and can’t find a stable relationship there are probably psychological issues making it impossible. No shame in that.
While I’m not looking for a “relationship”, in the past 1-2 years more and more “players” or “chain yankers” have shown up. Guys whose A4A profiles are a match, but they will not commit to a meeting (coffee, a meal, or sex), even though they say they want to. Maybe they just can’t deal with their sexuality. Or maybe they get off on leading other guys on. I “fired” one this week. I made it clear I was done with his use and abuse of leading me on for months. Didn’t block him; just laid the facts on the line.… Read more »
Men are devolving into vapid onlyfans who contribute nothing to the world but selfies
“Useless, Pieces Of Trash”?
“Unmitigated Shit”?
“Useless Entities”?
“Useless As Foreskin On A New Born”?
“Useless As Tits On A Nun”?
Yes, those would all be wonderful titles for your autobiography.
Dude!!! I about choked. Fucking brilliant response.
Emotional immaturity and immaturity in general is something to be ashamed of after 35 or so. Grow up. And stop drinking and drugging.
i forgot you’re an insufferable cunt and enjoy it
Nah… He lacks both the warmth and the depth.
You know what else you should be ashamed of after age 35? Not knowing about subject-verb agreement.
This is one more time I absolutely agree with you.
I have said before, I often am at odds, but this comment you make here is much more: it is astute, accurate, necessary, wise observation. Frivolity and chemical excesses have been destroying us for generations.
In a side note, once a person can honestly respect himself and be all right with his own company, finding compatible company loses its desperation and actually becomes less stressful.
Gay and Straight friends over the years have at some point confided “it’s time for to settle down with my one and only. I’m done being loose about who I spend my time with. I’m looking for that ‘life partner’, ‘soul mate’, ‘king or queen’.” And so they began the arduous process of “hiring” that mate. They developed a “keen” understanding (aka “checklist”) of what they were seeking. They doubled down on dating, scrutinizing each next date, aka “next candidate for the job”. Prospects that did not meet the checklist requirements were not moved forward in the “process”, regardless… Read more »
“You can’t find love. Love finds you.”
Coming from somebody who’s dating life only lasted for ~3 years, love hasn’t found me during the other 47.
Remember, too:
“You Can’t Hurry Love”!
I don’t think being single for 47 years is “hurrying love”.
Did you anger someone?
If I knew the answer, I would have changed things by now.
But the only thing different between then & now is I was 22-25 y/o.
Oh, I think so, for the “aforementioned” and then some. I’ve only had two relationships and they were decent. One when I lived in NYC and in my hometown of Minneapolis, of which, he was my first and longest relationship on and off again, until I left my hometown for good; I outgrew him and it, lmao! I’ve never been more ready, in a time when more are simply not and confused about what they want in whomever; they cannot, get beyond sex, very short attention-span/s; to the point of being seemingly, vacant, robot-like, it’s scary, really. Not to mention;… Read more »
Hell i’m 32 and it’s nearly impossible and i am muscular good looking and have a big cock but it absolutely has alot to do with your “geographical location” to my misfortune i had to end up in Boston (Worst pools of animals)
Amen Ahat!
Oh, I dunno, I think Soflo has Boston beat.
“Love” and Sex” aren’t identical. Age is the culprit – especially – within Western Civilization. Thus, it does become increasingly more difficult to find either Love or sex – unless – one is particularly handsome, well-bodied and rather well financially, too. The perception of age is predominately seen through the eyes of a given society and in a “Capitalist Society” such as ours – the Laws of Supply & Demand daily stimulation and the young demand in disproportion to self; thus, our Society puts a premium on the young and tend to label the old as a negative pull on… Read more »
It is easier to find false or shallow, unsustainable love before 40, it is easier to find true love after 40, but it is harder to find anything after 30. Our community is too youth-obsessed and looks-obsessed, which interferes with the heart-mind connection, and relationships. Being focused on the physical act of sex prevents the normal development of emotional attachments. That and the insistence on only marrying someone who earns either an equal or greater amount of money, because of the shallow focus on lifestyle. Men who are involved in religion are more likely to find each other and find… Read more »
One of my older sisters had a number of gay friends through her job, she once said “such tragedy, gay seem to mostly, grow old alone.”
Too many “Peter Pans” which in itself is syndrome; let alone the narcissists, self-haters, etc.
‘We’ as a whole, tend to be shallow long beyond our youth; as is normal during youth, really, but as fully chronologically grown men at one’s prime, psychologically speaking; things ‘should’ dawn on you. Who are you, do you know, what do want in someone as you are building your life.
It’s hard period. My dating life has only been between 1996 & 1999.
I never experienced having a significant other in high school nor college.
Also, my sister dated her husband for 9 years before they got married (~30 years years ago & are still united). I can’t find even people to “play with” much less date.
In-the-Interim –
there is “Salvation” –
“Porn”!
Being “by yourself” gets tiresome after a while.
Yes –
but there is peace to be gotten, too!
Do you ever wonder why your comments get so many thumbs down? You should probably reflect-a-bit-on-that.
Trivial Pursuit!
Lots of weirdo, mentally ill older gays who don’t want to acknowledge their abusive and shallow behavior but cry when they can’t find a partner who’ll put up with them. Such is life. ♂️
So, there aren’t younger gays with the same issues?
Where I live in the US, it seems over 75% of the guys are on some form of drugs. They are looking for “generous”, no car, no job, want to party all the time but looking only for one time romp or the newer ass up and come blow your load inside me that has literally 50 other ones. The other BS I have to wade through are the AI and Chat bots and scammers who prey on these sites. Fortunately they are pretty obvious to spot, but they will get better and better as time goes. Everyone claims to… Read more »
Hear hear on all what you said there… 😉
The bots are usually easy to spot on here. Just look at all the empty profile description OR the text is practically identical to another “person”.
Also look for responses that a lightning fast, faster than a real guy could read, think about and type back to.
I think the internet has made it harder to find love. It was easier when we conversed in person and could get a vibe/feel for the other.I also think it is tougher after forty because many guys who were looking for love found it and are happily coupled. The dating gets smaller.
I don’t know about that. As a person who doesn’t drink nor dance, why would I go to bars/clubs?
Also, with the Net, you can find others who don’t live near you.
It is hard to find love after 40 but it is also hard to find lover after 30 when it comes to the gay community. This community is in lust with youth and beauty. When I was a young dude 30 was considered “old.”
In real life the older you get the wiser and more knowledgeable about life you should get but, in this community, the oldheads are worse than the children.
question should be: is it hard to find SEX after fifty, honey?
From some of the replies on these questions, that isn’t a problem for them.
It’s not hard at all. In my 60s. I have buds in their 30s and approaching 80s. Just a matter of reading through profiles to see the game-players/liars and staying away from them. Then connecting with guys with balls and character looking for the same.
Responding to this Blog is difficult, at best. The 7 categories listed above are accurate and their intensity varies according to the individual, but don’t limit yourself to just these. Case in point, me. I will soon be 72. I lost my partner of 33 years to being t-boned just before Thanksgiving 2011. He was in Surgical Intensive for three months and died on Valentines Day 2012. Baggage … yes. It took me 12 years to finally begin to let go and start moving on with MY life. A very aggressive form of prostate cancer found me some 20 years… Read more »
Very true and well said.
There has always been ageism. It is less a factor now that ever. As for the hardness issue? Plenty of limp dick younger guys out there. The constant blue pill ads make it looks like every man needs them. They don’t. Crystal dick has nothing to do with age. “Daddies” have never been more popular. They are a category on every hook up site. I am 5 10 185 with trim white beard. I am a stereotype. Daddy & Papi are not names I really like to be called or identify with. I get hit on by younger guys all… Read more »
Definitely harder to find tops though I did hook up with a hot 21 y/o this week who says he wants to play again soon. I think it’s a lot of perception that makes it harder to find love after 40
No. Not if I’m being hit up by 23 years olds daily.
40? Hell, 97% of the guys think you die on your 30th. I’ll be 50 this year, and I’m satisified with my life. I have friends I enjoy being around, a son I love dearly, and activities I love doing.
As a single mature middle-aged man with grey hair, a handful of millennials and Gen Zs over the past couple of years expressed interest indirectly by asking me how I feel about dating younger guys like themselves. I tell them the same thing I tell men my age. I’m open to dating, but I prefer not to force it if it doesn’t feel like a natural fit. I’ve learned to take my time before jumping into any relationship. It was a hard lesson to learn. However, dating I think is hard for all ages, but as an aging gay man,… Read more »
It’s no harder at 20 than it is at 40+. The problem is that you’re dealing with men. Men who only grow older but don’t grow up. All gay want to do is have rough sex in a Starbucks and boom one day they are 50, depressed/angrier, with a wife/girlfriend, and a lot of judgement and audacity towards gay men. So, it’s not hard. You’re just men and you look at the outside and if that random guy give you a feeling your balls/ass, it’s on (for that moment). In fact, I believe that most of you have had opportunities… Read more »