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Are you into anal sex, guys?
Anyway, the gay men of Reddit have spoken and some of them said that anal sex is not a required activity and advised the original poster (OP) of the thread to “just stick with what you both enjoy.” Another one answered no as well; he said that for him, it’s not necessarily a requirement and that if the two of you have an enjoyable sex life then there’s no problem. One guy, however, confessed that yes, anal sex is a requirement for him because he believes that “there’s a special part of intimacy in that part of sex.”
We are asking because we stumbled upon a thread on askgaybros asking readers whether anal sex is a requirement for them when they are in a relationship or not. So, if you are into it and your significant other is not, would you break up with them because of it? Conversely, what if you’re not a fan of anal sex and your boyfriend or partner loves it, would you try for their sake or would you stop dating them instead? Also, for those who are not into anal sex, did you have a bad experience that made you dislike it?
Reasons given as to why they are not into anal sex included the following: anal sex is painful (for bottoms), as for tops, they said it’s because they are afraid of hurting their bottoms while others confessed they’re not into it because “anal sex is a pain in the ass for both tops and bottoms.” There was one who said it’s because of a traumatic experience—he was raped and he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD] as a result of that).
Having said all these, what about you, guys? Is anal sex a deal breaker for you? Why or why not? Share with us your thought and stories in the comments section below.
Anal sex is definitely a deal breaker for me both giving and receiving. The intimacy of having a man you care for inside you is a necessity. I also insist on bareback as condoms are a literal barrier to that intimacy, sharing semen…..I don’t think this is any different from a heterosexual relationship
I don’t want to be fucked with a condom . It is wayy better not knowing if He will cum in Me all romantic , or pull out , and cum in My Mouth or on My stomache . I never been fucked yet , but I imagine a Man who wants to fuck Me missionary , and I want it like that so He can see Me cum all over Myself just from His cock , I’m so in need of a hard man who just pushes me down and does it >
not only is anal sex a turnoff for me, just think about the many loving wonderful men who are dead and dying of aids. aids is transmitted primarily analy
Everyone dies, it’s not “if”, it’s when.
This Topic has been discussed prior as I remember it to be? I have “Never” engaged in Anal Penetrative Sex. Even, at 16, I already knew enough to say “No.” Henceforth, I have never said “Yes.” Either it is “Oral” in virtually all applications or I am “Over & Out.” No interest and no discussion… I see no logic to it or sexual pleasure derivable. To me, it is bizarre, unnatural and unholy. Even in Porn, I winch whenever I see it. I have been deemed “Persona Non Grata”; thus, condemned; outcasted; exiled; pitied; marooned and otherwise, invisible. Yet, I… Read more »
I generally stick to oral. Anal requires prep work; though even with prep work, cleanup is always required even if a mess can’t be visibly seen. If you want the best possible experience in anal sex, get fucked by a guy with an intact penis. It feels really good, and the intensity of an orgasm is always multiplied when bottoming. Anal hurts when getting fucked by someone who is circumcised (mutilated, cut, broke-dick, not-intact); and you’ll prolapse your anus getting repeatedly fucked by circumcised men. Their performance is always lousy too. Anal is only a deal breaker for me when… Read more »
You’re funny. I don’t have a prolapsed rectum, despite my all top bf of 14 years being cut. Where in the hell do you get your crazy ass ideas from?
It is not an absolute for me but I feel it does take us to a higher level of passion and intimacy. I have had boyfriends I like a lot that did not like to fuck and we had very hot sex, but I still wanted anal sex. So for me it’s either we enjoy it or can we have an open relationship. It is something I have a deep desire for.
From the beginning my preference was frottage…didn’t know much more existed….lol. Few are interested in that experience so I fell into anal sex as a bottom. Except for one guy, I have had very little enjoyment with anal sex if any at all. So anal sex is not a must. Even two bottoms have much to enjoy outside of a top. So for me…anal sex is not that important…that is coming form a total bottom of course.
Total deal breaker. I’m a total top. If he isn’t into anal sex there is no dating him.
A real bottom will crave to be fucked slow, long and deep.
From my perspective, as a guy who is not into anal, this has been a huge issue when trying to find a guy for a hook up, dating or relationship…doesn’t matter for what reason. When they hear I am not into anal, it’s goodbye Charlie! In my case, it is simply not enjoyable – it causes way too much pain for me. Believe me, I have tried and tried to loosen myself up over the years. I want to have some fun, date and hopefully have a relationship, so it’s in my own interest to try to enjoy anal….but I… Read more »
I am not into any anal either and I have done just fine all these years. There are many other ways to enjoy each other than anal. People should consider safer ways to have fun. Like you, finding someone to enjoy the fun my way has not been easy
Totally agree. And yes, very difficult to find other “sides” who prefer not to engage in anal. It is a total turn off for me to have someone who insists on defining their sexuality by “top or bottom”. And I believe that gay culture has convinced gay men that it’s a necessity. I also believe there are a lot more men who really could do without the anal but they are afraid of being rejected or thought of as undesirable because they don’t want it.
Its definitely not necessary to do anal when with a gay partner. I went many years just do oral stuff and always felt fulfilled. Its the PASSION that matters. I new many guys who loved oral as much as I. Some giving , some receiving. The situation always unique. I didn’t even begin to enjoy anal until almost 40 years old and had to practice many times before it ever felt right and good. To each his own. But its the hot steamy passion that makes it Great!!……whatever act it is you are into
I expect to get fucked in the ass and take every drop of sperm upon first meeting
YES YES ! !! i AGREE with this man i need to get fucked and n0t by fingers which many have tried and i dont consider that a top he is a finger fucker anyways , my holes get jealous of each other like if im giving head my asshole just starts craving and gets so hungry and jealous it twitches and needs cock in it and then it gets cock and then my mouth needs it again and I have to go back-and-forth for a bit in order for me to feel satisfied and good and able to maybe… Read more »
If it’s painful, then you (or your partner) are not doing it correct. Has been my experience most guys simply don’t know how to be a ‘top’ from watching too much porn. Long time ago, I knew a Dom Master in San Francisco who told that it took a good bottom to be a good top.
absolutely true.
Yes, definitely a deal breaker if anything is going to last long or short term. Sucking dick and getting sucked doesn’t do it for me the same way fucking does. From a long term perspective, it’s more intimate. And whether long term, married, dating, hooking up or having group sex, fucking is just a lot hotter with anal sex. Ass must be clean and dick must be hard.
Reddit is now the arbiter of things gay? I’d say that if one has to find affirmation and guidance on Reddit, THAT is a deal breaker. So we can’t be friends unless someone is grunting and leaving a mess behind now. Personally, I’d say things that are deal breakers include unsafe preferences, illegal activities and drug use for sure. If there isn’t penetration, then the level of passion is probably relatively low, but that certainly isn’t a deal breaker for a relationship. Not like anyone on here is living some monogamous 1950s lifestyle anyway. Just get it elsewhere.
No it’s not a deal breaker, i can have plenty of fun without anal. Yes i enjoy it, as both top and bottom, but kissing, body contact, jacking and oral can be better then a fuck. It all depends on the guy and the chemistry. For me kissing is more of a requirement,
Absolutely agree…
Totally agree, but in a committed relationship I also have felt the deep connection of having my partner in me or letting me be in him.
Sometimes its none of that. There’s a whole sub-subculture of guys who love any and everything else erotic because of desires and fetishes they find far more enjoyable and exciting than anal. There is some backlash against the erroneous definition of gay sex as always inclusive of, if not defined by, anal sex. Given that anal is a major sexual contact vector for HIV transmission, there are tons of guys, HIV negative and positive, seeking other ways to have fun. Some of us aren’t avoiding it, we just don’t find it to be the primary thing; its also a nice… Read more »
Anal sex has to be discussed and if the bottom really enjoy that role, then it shouldn’t be a problem at all.
I enjoy anal sex, but it’s not a deal breaker if my partner is not into it at all. We can do many other things…massage, kiss, oral, jerk off, kinky talk, etc.
anal sex is so pleasurable that it is a REQUIREMENT… especially bareback and feeling the hot cum deep inside when the top climaxes
Get with it please my lover
No
No love it
Its a deal breaker…. Not having anal sex. Im a bottom, and I can tell you for me, fucking is a requirement. I love oral but, as a lead up to fucking. Painful, well if your with the right partner. No. I’ve had guys suck my dick and it Felt like I was being circumcised. So, same with fucking. If your top partner is any good, Oh ….it hurts so Good! Fucking is the ultimate in intimacy!
Anal sex is definitely a requirement in a relationship. It’s something that has been an integral part of my sex life. not only is it pleasurable but it provides a level of intimacy that you don’t get with other acts like mutual masturbation, blow jobs or frottage. If I was considering a relationship with a guy and he wasn’t into anal sex, it probably wouldn’t stand a chance of lasting.
As a bottom, the only issue is that I need to prepare for at least an hour because I’m a stickler for hygiene, whereas oral doesn’t require any preparation. Also, the pleasure in anal is so dependent on the top’s technique. Oral for an oral bottom is almost always good regardless! The only thing I need is a big penis!
No relationship should ever be based on a sexual requirement. I remember the first time I met a gay couple that had been together for decades. When asked if they got angry at one another if they discovered the other one was cheating. Best response ever. They said “why would we ever let such a silly thing like sex get in the way of our love for each other.?” Sex is fun, it’s hot it’s awesome and it’s a great way to work out and socialize. It’s also has way too much power over people and society. Many years ago… Read more »
thats what most people dont understand. especially the young. the ‘love of love’ is different for the ‘love of sex’. and what nobody has mentioned here yet, is that its the prostate (whether male or female) that heightens the sex. thats the bottom line in intercourse.
Yes it is a total deal breaker. I am a definite top and I live to top. Nothing better than anal sex with a true bottom. No anal sex I could not be with someone who did not love it as much as I love giving it. No anal sex, I cannot be with with that man.
ROFLMAO:) Really? Then WHY are approximately 95% of those on A4A looking for TOPS???
true. there must be the non-intercours’ers thats only speaking out about the issue, and is being heard. i dont see much being said from the bottoms or tops that love and demand it.
Absolute dealbreaker for me. While kissing and oral and fun and passionate, to me, it’s just not all the way there without anal. I am 90% bottom and 10% top, and I love feeling a guy inside of me balls deep. I do not think I could be in a fuckless relationship. Also, on the rare occasion I hook up, it’s because I have a need that needs to be satisfied.
I seem to have a difficult time with anal. Being well-endowed is one thing. And if I’m able to get inside a guy, I have trouble staying hard. I had a few bad experiences with unclean partners and I feel that is on my mind when we commence with anal sex. If I pull out, I’m back to my full erection. Stroking, oral and frot is especially good. One way or the other I get off, but anal just isn’t working.
i think its in your mind. intercourse is always dirty, even if its not intercourse. you just need the right person to handle it the right way. i had a guy that ‘was’ the same way, and him well, into completion.
yes, I’m a bottom and I need a man in me. Preferable BB and breeding me.
No it’s not a deal breaker, we can please each other in many other ways.
Anal sex is good, as long as the bottom’s butthole is impeccably clean and douched, otherwise, it’s disgusting, smelly, and gross. I finish dinner by 6pm every night & stop eating, around 8 pm I take not one but three servings of psyllium husk, next morning, during a #2, everything is scraped out, I finish it off by douching/enema, shower, go back to bed to please my top BF. If he wants sex any other time, douching’ll suffice. And I expect the same of anyone I’m going to top and blunt enough to ask if they’re clean.
Excellent response
For me at moments it can be. There are times when I am OK with play without anal but there are also times I want that very much. I don’t know if I would be OK in a relationship where that was a never for my partner.
I agree there is an intense connection that happens when fucking. As a bottom I feel like I am allowing you to become a part of me. Plus it feels so damn amazing. In a casual encounter, it’s not necessary. In a relationship, it’s non-negotiable. But it also has to be mutual.
Yes, no anal sex is a deal breaker for me because I can j/o with a video, magazine, a stranger, and none of that is as fulfilling as a good old fashioned thrashing, in the bed, shower, sofa, backyard, tent, 5th wheel…
Hopefully, me and my partner/boyfriend would have worked that out in the dating phase of our relationship.
I love anal sex being a sub bottom just wish I could find more hung Tops Dominated Tops INTO KINK, that like Topping a bottom that wants it as long as you can go!
Anal sex is situational. Sometimes I planned on it, but we changed our minds. Other times we didn’t plan on it, but arousal and desire happened, and we did it. One time I went to top a dude and foreplay went so well, he said he’d never gotten so hard. He asked to try topping. I went ahead and let him. He’s now an exclusive top. I guess for me, I can do without anal if we’re both not into it, but rimming and fingering at least, of we’re really hot. All those nerve endings shouldn’t go to waste. Sometimes… Read more »
I think the OP fails to mention that hes having plenty of anal w one of the bfs close friends…
I’m a total bottom and I love anal sex, so yes, that would be required for me in any sexual relationship. If a guy wasn’t into it, we could be friends, but not sexual partners. I get the most sexual pleasure from anal, and I feel it is the way I can most completely give myself to my partner. I don’t find it a pain at all — I love it.
It is not a deal breaker for me. My big thing is sucking and swallowing another guy. If he happens to be uncut, even better and a big plus if he’s nice and sweaty down there. I love that uncut smell. I simply love to rim also. I do like to bottom but now a deal breaker if the other does not. I do not top though
I love to get my ass pounded, but I am not into pounding someone else ass. That is a big turn off for me. Receiving big turn on, giving not so hot. I wouldn’t mind my partner not giving it to me if he didn’t want to, but he’d have to compromise on me getting it from someone else. I only like bareback, so if he wasn’t comfortable with that, then the relationship wouldn’t work out.
Anal sex IS a requirement with me and always has been. I need to be able to feel him inside me while I wrap myself around him. That’s about as close as two people can get.
I guess I’ll go first… Anal sex has been a big part of my sexual interactions with men since I was a teenager in the ’60’s. Everything from the most intimate encounters I’ve ever had to an anonymous fuck in the park. And most of the possibilities in between. It’s all been good, and still is at 69. I love it all, especially bottoming, but I like to top too. Partner and I are both on PrEP, play safe and have been with all sorts of men. But it’s not a deal breaker, tho I do prefer it. I just… Read more »
I like the butt stuff
No anal isn’t a deal breaker, but only if it get rough, causes pain, or I don’t get hard enough to get in. Love fingering, and rimming. Although I have to be really turned on to get into it. Getting turned on, works in steps, first getting naked, doing some oral, making out, kissing, then rimming, getting loosened up, then I go for it.
Anal sex is not a deal breaker with me —I love oral and rimming, and sometimes anal sex puts too much pressure on me to perform as best as I can
Anal sex is not a deal breaker with me, I .love oral and rimming better as it does not put as much pressure to perform well
Anal (penetration) for me is not a deal killer. I just wasn’t wired at the factory for it. There’s nothing about it that makes me scream with pleasure when bottoming. Since I’ve never been “good” in a condom, I don’t top for safe sex reasons. A couple of my good buds like to top; I’ll “take one for the team” for them; we’ve determined they don’t make me scream … in pain. And when doing it with them I really do enjoy (get off) on how much pleasure it gives them so I’ll cheer them on as they move through… Read more »
No, it’s not a deal breaker. Now for so called straight couples, the deal breaker for me (if I was straight that is) is that when you get married to your husband or to your wife and one of them don’t want kids and the other does…mainly when it’s the woman who do not want any and she already doesn’t have any as it is and hubby wants some? Now that is the ultimate deal breaker for them. That said, why even marry? Guess I am that old school type of person when it comes to that particular hetero scenario.… Read more »
Love anal sex. However, I can’t stand giving/receiving oral. Ironic part is I’ve been told by several that I’m great @ giving oral. *shrug shoulders*
What I don’t understand is if you’re going to be in a relationship with somebody, sooner or later sex WILL be a topic of discussion.