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For other gay men, humiliation play is an exhilarating way to spice up their sex life, while for others, it’s an absolute no-go. The idea of being verbally or emotionally put down in a consensual context might sound strange to some but incredibly arousing to others. Having said that, we want to know, where do you stand when it comes to degradation and humiliation play? Is it a turn-on or a turn-off for you and why or why not?
We are bringing this up because of an intriguing confession shared by a gay man online. He shared:
“Why do I have a humiliation kink all of a sudden? [It] started a couple weeks ago. Guy was talking down to me while he was fucking me, and I came violently while he was pounding. Last night a guy was fucking me, and I asked him to humiliate me. As soon as he started, my whole body started shaking, and I came violently again. Seems like it came out of nowhere. Where is this coming from?”
Humiliation as a sexual kink taps into complex psychological dynamics. For some, it’s about the thrill of power exchange, where one person assumes a dominant role and the other surrenders control. This consensual dynamic can heighten arousal by amplifying feelings of vulnerability, trust, and intensity.
For others, humiliation serves as a way to explore taboo fantasies in a controlled environment, where the humiliation isn’t about genuine disrespect but about creating an exaggerated, role-playing experience. The brain associates these heightened emotions with pleasure, sometimes resulting in explosive orgasms, as described in the confession above.
What do other gay men say about it?
One guy explained, “Your brain is wired to enjoy being submissive. Submissive men usually love being degraded when they’re horny. It’s a form of being dominated. It really is as simple as that. You may have mental issues, but even if you didn’t, you would still have enjoyed this type of play LOL.” This comment suggests that some people naturally lean toward submissiveness as part of their sexual identity.
Another guy offered his opinion on the matter: “I have enjoyed being humbled at times by lovers. It puts a different perspective on the situation. I don’t have to be humbled to enjoy the activities.” For this person, humiliation isn’t necessary but can add an interesting dynamic when desired.
But not everyone is on board, though. A third commenter said that he doesn’t think humiliation kink is hot, “It just sends my BP through the roof! So to each’s own, I suppose.” This highlights how humiliation kink is deeply subjective; what’s arousing for one person might feel unsettling for another.
But why do people love humiliation play?
Humiliation play can provide a range of experiences and emotions for those who enjoy it. For some, it offers an emotional release, serving as a cathartic way to let go of societal expectations and embrace raw vulnerability. The experience can also lead to heightened arousal, as the taboo nature of being “talked down to” or “put in place” adds an element of thrill and forbidden excitement. Additionally, for submissive individuals, there is a sense of validation through submission, where surrendering control and being “used” in a consensual setting brings a unique kind of pleasure. Altogether, these elements combine to create a complex, often deeply satisfying experience for those who find fulfillment in this dynamic.
As with all kinks, whether humiliation is hot or not depends entirely on the individual. It’s crucial to communicate boundaries and ensure mutual consent when exploring any form of degradation play.
What do you think, Adam4Adam blog readers? Is humiliation kink something that sparks your interest, or is it a hard pass? Moreover, have you ever tried humiliation play before? How did it go for you? Did it add excitement to the bedroom, or did it make you uncomfortable? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section down below!
I love “humiliation,” it is all a part of the role playing that I enjoy. I can be submissive, dominant, or both at the same time, and depending on the person I’m playing with, it is a massive turn on for me. I’ve known this since I was in my 20s, and maybe only 1-2 percent of people I’ve hooked up with, also enjoy it. It’s simply fantasy and role playing, which I can understand many people don’t get, but for me, I love it when I find someone else who’s also in tune with it.
I agree with you 100%
sex talk and its associated connotations is fine but put-downs without finesse and application, does not compute.
Agreed. While I respect that some guys enjoy it, need it, want it … for me it’s a respect issue. Sure, I play, tease, joke with buds, but find no pleasure is degradation or humiliation, whether it’s giving or receiving.
Often degraded – never humiliated. I figure that if a guy is going to fuck me, he should show my body the respect it deserves by pissing on me too.
when it rains, it pours!
It’s the release and abandon of social norms that probably feels freeing. Done with some boundaries in place, I suppose it could be an experience. But for me, it’s a No-Fly Zone.
for me it’s a TOTAL TURN ON. START w/degrading comments, move to submissive sex, keep goin deeper & deeper into submission until I’m the TOPS total play thing. I’m in hog-heaven!!
Re-living childhood trauma as an adult how ‘exhilirating’
there is medication!
Not for me.
No, not so much. I do enjoy a little fetish/kinky, masochistic/sadistic play though; testing each other’s limits and pushing them.
I am a closet bottom, very masculine with women, But I once had a guy when I would visit him as soon as I entered his house he would somewhat take my manhood, I had to take all the bass out of my voice, he then put me in some panties which I didn’t mind, I wore those with men anyway, then he would make me his made, it turned him on to see me cleaning with panties and a tank top on, When ever I had to piss , I had to do it sitting down, He once made… Read more »
I am exactly the same way! When I am with a man I just love being his bitch! Love to just lay back, let him eat and suck me then put my legs in the air and relax while he does all the work pumping in and out of me while we kiss. Is soooo hot and feels soooo good! Want me to be ur bitch? Visit Reno and look me up on Adam – emitwennuf, I aint hard to find and u can invite me to your hotel room!
I appreciate the offer, but I not sure if you noticed my screen name, (Closet bottom), kinda self explanatory, yes I’m all bottom when with a man, maybe I should’ve stated top, I perfer men that all top, I have never had a desire to top and I don’t think I’ll ever will ,, it’s will be really hard for me to play with another bottom