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It’s one of those questions that’s usually kept behind closed doors or whispered in the privacy of close friends: “How many guys do you sleep with per year?
one gay man asks—and the gay internet responded with an array of honest, funny, reflective, and explicit answers—from the romantically monogamous to the unapologetically adventurous. He added: “And where/how are you finding them?”
One guy asked back, “Are we talking sex or just oral? Sex: 1 or so. Oral, lmao. Like 40.”
This guy isn’t shy about distinguishing between different kinds of play.
On the other hand, there are gay guys who have long-term lovers like this one who shared, “One, for the last 15 years.” Another guy replied,
“I’m monogamous and been with my husband a decade now. 35. I’d rather have the comfort of company constantly than have short bursts of excitement.” This man shares the same sentiment: “I’m monogamous and engaged to be married, so one.” He added, “No judgment on polyamorous people. It’s just not for me.” These men reflect a side of gay life that isn’t always seen in mainstream media: deep, long-term, monogamous love. It’s not boring—it’s commitment with chemistry.
Further, one guy confessed he has weekly encounters: “On average one or two a week.”
This answer keeps it short and to the point: some people like frequent connection, and that’s okay too.
In addition, this gay man revealed he has now shifted from his slut phase to selective, “During my college slut phase, at least 10 a year. Nowadays, at most 3. Those 3 being the same people. I’ve since severely limited myself to who I sleep with to be safe.”
Many guys go through phases—and this man’s story shows how preferences and priorities can shift with age, experience, and values.
Meanwhile, this guy’s answer is quite the opposite, he said that his sexual journey is just getting started: “I’m 28 and only started having sex with guys 3 months ago. Not sure how many guys I’ve been with so far, maybe 20–25.” There’s always someone just beginning their sexual journey, and in the span of a few months, this guy is clearly exploring and enjoying the ride.
So, what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers?
Everyone’s sex life is different, and there’s no one “right” number. Whether you’re happily monogamous, open and experimental, just getting started, or proudly in your “slut era” or selective phase, the important thing is that it’s consensual, safe, and satisfying—for you and your partner.
Adam4Adam blog readers, we want to hear from you: how many guys do you sleep with per year? Where do you meet them—here on Adam4Adam, bars, friends, saunas, events? Has your number changed over the years? Why or why not? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
We had this subject already, just a while ago, but no, never, guess I’m not that juvenile.
yo, gives the older slices of white bread a little spread
Agreed. And those who run the Blog continue to not ask what posters wish to discuss. Success in terms of member/poster satisfaction would be like shooting fish in a barrel. But no, It’s “hot or not?”; celebrities, voyeurism (as in the current topic as they vicariously join others’ lives); Gay porn star favorites, Jussie plants a ring …
Will they ever ask what posters/members want to discuss? Duh, they’d have several weeks, if not months, of content.
yo, lots of bread crumbs
I’ve been more selective as I’ve gotten older. I was never in a “slut phase” in my youth but I would have done maybe 1 or 2 different guys per month. Now it’s still 1 or 2 per month but with the same small selection of guys.
So far this year terms of fucking I think 3… oral is probably 5… 2023 I was way more active and made a concerted effort to lower my numbers. I took a comprehensive sti/std test in April of this year and was given clean bill of health. I’d like to stay that way. I now ask for recent test from partners to make sure they are all cleared too before I engage with them.
I don’t keep track, so I did some calculating. I have nine FWBs that I’ve known for a decade or two within a 75-mile radius. Three of them I get to connect with once or twice a year. We keep in contact and stay up on what’s happening in our lives. Another four I get to connect with 1-3 times per week. Usually one-on-one but sometimes schedules line up for three-somes. The last two I get to connect a few to several times per year as we can. So it looks like sex is about 80 times a year. Glad… Read more »
Annually about 6-10 different guys. More in the summer at nudist lake
I keep count. I’m a BiMM totally hidden in the closet, but I’ve been carrying on this double-life for years unbeknown to my wife and all others. For me, getting my on/off dose of gay sex on avg. of 1x a month give-or-take is like doing it for sport: It has no romantic meaning to me at all and it’s solely for the physical enjoyment. And I do keep count not only of every guy I’m with but also every single experience. My lifetime count is in the multi 100s – a figure I consider hot and a little scary.
Bi married here also, very straight and a alpha male in my everyday life , very DL ,and deep in the closet, I don’t have and romantic attractions either, I do like to get to know and build a sexual and trusted relationship because I do enjoy sucking men off and I usually swallow, it’s hard for me to do that with strangers, but I do know it more and more married men these days
You married guys are the Best,suck,fuck a dick sore,love you guys!!
Thank you, we aim to please
I’m in the same situation, BiMM and in the closet. With the exception of a friend in 8th and 9th grade I started having mansex when I was around 30 (mid 50’s now). I lost count a long time ago but I would guess the number is around 50-60. I’ve slowed down a lot now that I’m married and I’m much more selective. For the last year I’ve had 1 married FWB and we only meet once every couple months.
The same here Make sure to keep that one married FWB because they are hard to find and keep
While I’m always super safe and cautious and ask a TON of questions before meeting anyone, I started keeping a very private diary in 2012. Over the past 13 years by my calculation, I’ve had some form of intimacy with 114 different guys for a total of 173 different experiences. In the previous 34 years since I had become sexually active w/ guys, I was with another 135 different guys for a total of 160 experiences. I’ve refined my craft over the years 😉
How many sex partners do you think your wife has?
always easier to remember “How Many” than “Who Were”?
I lost count at 5k
WoW,4 real
4 REAL!!
I am with you at least ,
They add up quick!
I try to be very careful, so I try have a relationships with my men, at 47 I may have been with 20 men, but between the 20 men I’ve probably sucked about 15 of the off so many times I can’t count, And between the 20 of them, I’ve been fucked way too many times to even approximate, I enjoy being a bottom and being used by other men for their sexual desires ,
Oh in my youth, I was a whore. Hundreds. Seriously. Not anymore, though. Stopped being your Private Dancer, lol.
Who is SO INSECURE and JUVENILE that they keep a count!!! Those days are LONG GONE – decades ago!!! 🙂
Not only that, but also SELF-EGO bragging…
keep a diary & someday, it will keep you!
I was not keeping count but the health dept called, once and had to do an accounting for them.
infectious disease dept?
Well HOPEFULLY you REMEMBERED all the DUDES that MIGHT have INFECTED you and your BUDDIES 🙁
No I don’t get out and about like that,I fuck with the same bottom guys for years
Let’s be real, we lose count rather quickly once we get started.
I go to a fukfest here in Chicago on Saturday nights til Sunday mornings and average fuk’n 5 guys and busts in their azzes a total of 3 times…God bless Viagra! So, I fuck 260-270 guys a year…Now, during a calendar year, I may fuck 3 different guys out of the 5-6 guys each Saturday night til Sunday morning, so, i haven’t kept a count on that tally. But, thanks to this topic, I will from this Saturday on. Btw, I only fuck raw and get tested for STDs/STIs every 3 months. HIV neg as of April 2nd. Be safe…in… Read more »
WOW aren’t YOU the BULL topstud OF the WINDY CITY!!!! Need to MOVE to BOYSTOWN I guess so I can get some of that PRIMO DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂
I started when I was young with my uncle … then a couple of his friends … but in high school I discovered a gloryhole hole and was at the patk restroom all the time … when I was 18 I started going to porno theatres … I’d spend hours giving both holes to mostly black and Latino men … then I discovered Craigslist and had a large roster of straight married men I’d service… some were married and divorced a few times but they kept me for years … I honestly could have no way of keeping track of… Read more »
EVERYONE is the SAME COLOR when you TURN the LIGHTS OFF dude!!! EVER think of that?!? 🙁
We’re attracted to who we’re attracted to… Ever think of that?
HELLA yeah – I think of that EVERYTIME I HOOK UP dude!!!!
Not true. You can turn the lights off and still identify the difference between black and white. They talk different during sex.
BULL – who the FUCK talks anyway if you’re having a GREAT TIME and WHO the hell cares about SKIN PIGMENTATION!!! Pretty fucking shallow!!!!!!!!!
GUESS NOT!!!! 🙂 SAD things!!!!
I’ve always kept a written list of the guys I’ve been with for both oral, anal, and fisting. And the list is sequential. Easier to keep track of ’em, especially if one of them shares a bug. Then I can narrow down who it was and who I’ve been with since. Much easier than just guessing. I’ve had only two relationships that lasted the space of a year, and there were some guys I played with multiple times. The number is at 166 right now. It wasn’t about making new notches in the bedpost – it was about having fun… Read more »
Wow, some judge-y comments. Guess I’m not surprised. I started keeping a journal when I managed to flirt with somebody on line (on a BBS, it was back in the 90s) that’d I’d actually hooked up with the night before but forgotten what their handle was. Embarrassing! Then I realized the journal was also really useful if I got an STD. Knew who to warn, and possibly who to avoid. Side effect is being able to count both # of guys and # of encounters. The downside is if you keep track, it’s easy for it to start to feel… Read more »
FREEDOM of SPEECH and FREEDOM to JUDGE also. It’s up to YOU to give a FUCK or NOT dude!!!! I SURE as hell DON’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost track a long time ago because too few were worth remembering. And almost none made any attempt at anything ongoing. Just two did that. One guy from Dubai and an 18-year-old.
PrEP changed everything for me. Pre-PrEP I could probably tell you how many men I have ever been with. Now, forget about a year. I might not remember how many men have had me in one night
I wish I had known about PreP, I’ve cut my number down since I was accused giving my wife HIV. It’s possible she gave it to me though.she admitted she was sleeping around.