(Photo Credits: Africa Studio from Shutterstock)
It’s one of those questions that’s usually kept behind closed doors or whispered in the privacy of close friends: “How many guys do you sleep with per year?
one gay man asks—and the gay internet responded with an array of honest, funny, reflective, and explicit answers—from the romantically monogamous to the unapologetically adventurous. He added: “And where/how are you finding them?”
One guy asked back, “Are we talking sex or just oral? Sex: 1 or so. Oral, lmao. Like 40.”
This guy isn’t shy about distinguishing between different kinds of play.
On the other hand, there are gay guys who have long-term lovers like this one who shared, “One, for the last 15 years.” Another guy replied,
“I’m monogamous and been with my husband a decade now. 35. I’d rather have the comfort of company constantly than have short bursts of excitement.” This man shares the same sentiment: “I’m monogamous and engaged to be married, so one.” He added, “No judgment on polyamorous people. It’s just not for me.” These men reflect a side of gay life that isn’t always seen in mainstream media: deep, long-term, monogamous love. It’s not boring—it’s commitment with chemistry.
Further, one guy confessed he has weekly encounters: “On average one or two a week.”
This answer keeps it short and to the point: some people like frequent connection, and that’s okay too.
In addition, this gay man revealed he has now shifted from his slut phase to selective, “During my college slut phase, at least 10 a year. Nowadays, at most 3. Those 3 being the same people. I’ve since severely limited myself to who I sleep with to be safe.”
Many guys go through phases—and this man’s story shows how preferences and priorities can shift with age, experience, and values.
Meanwhile, this guy’s answer is quite the opposite, he said that his sexual journey is just getting started: “I’m 28 and only started having sex with guys 3 months ago. Not sure how many guys I’ve been with so far, maybe 20–25.” There’s always someone just beginning their sexual journey, and in the span of a few months, this guy is clearly exploring and enjoying the ride.
So, what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers?
Everyone’s sex life is different, and there’s no one “right” number. Whether you’re happily monogamous, open and experimental, just getting started, or proudly in your “slut era” or selective phase, the important thing is that it’s consensual, safe, and satisfying—for you and your partner.
Adam4Adam blog readers, we want to hear from you: how many guys do you sleep with per year? Where do you meet them—here on Adam4Adam, bars, friends, saunas, events? Has your number changed over the years? Why or why not? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
