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Hey, guys! If you could stop being gay, would you? Why or why not?
Imagine a world where you had the ability to change a fundamental aspect of who you are – your sexuality. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, being gay is more than just who you’re attracted to – it’s a crucial part of your identity. But what if you were given the choice to change that? If you could stop being gay, would you consider it? What would drive that decision, and how would you see yourself differently if your sexual orientation changed?
I’ve seen this question pop up frequently online, so I’m curious to know what your answer will be. Questions range from: can I stop being gay? Sometimes the question is: how do I stop being gay?
The answer is, of course, you can’t. But other people can’t stop wondering about the might have been.
The concept of altering one’s sexuality is not only hypothetical but also emotionally complex. For other gay men, the question isn’t just about sexual preference – it’s about the experiences, relationships, and struggles that come with being gay. The reality is that being gay in today’s world can still be challenging. Despite advances in LGBTQ+ rights and societal acceptance, discrimination and prejudice remain prevalent. This can lead to feelings of isolation, rejection, and fear. Given these difficulties, some might wonder if life would be easier or more fulfilling if they were straight or identified differently. The possibility of living without the burdens that sometimes come with being gay could be an appealing notion.
At least this is the case for some gay men like this one who said:
“Yes, but I’d be bi. Life would be a lot easier if I were attracted to women. After coming out when I turned 40 I’m still struggling to find acceptance of myself as gay – and I would love the opportunity to be ‘normal’. Such a relief.
Having said that I love reading the gay-affirming comments here and the delight that most of you all find in being gay. And I do love guys. Unlike women I find them hot in almost every way. Hence… I’m gay.”
However, many gay individuals embrace their identity with pride. To them, being gay is not just about who they love; it’s a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It’s about belonging to a community that has its own unique culture, history, and shared experiences. Changing their sexuality could feel like giving up a part of themselves, a piece of their identity that they’ve come to cherish and celebrate. The idea of not being gay might be unimaginable, as it would mean losing the connections, understanding, and love that have been built around this core aspect of who they are.
This is particularly true to many in this thread. One such gay man said, “Even with all the trauma and mental health issues that come from being gay, I would still never want to be straight.” Meanwhile, another replied, “Since I had to work so hard already to be okay with myself, why would I want to switch now? When I was a kid, I would have chosen that, but not now.” He added, “Besides, guys are freakin hot.”
If you could change your sexuality, what would you choose instead? Would you prefer to be straight, potentially avoiding the discrimination and challenges that sometimes accompany being gay? The notion of being straight might appeal to those who desire a more conventional life, one that fits neatly into societal norms. It could also be seen as a way to avoid the internal and external conflicts that come with being gay.
Alternatively, some might consider identifying as bisexual (like the guy who answered above), believing it would offer a broader spectrum of attractions and experiences. Bisexuality could provide the flexibility to navigate between different worlds while still maintaining a connection to the LGBTQ+ community. It could represent a middle ground, a way to experience different aspects of love and attraction without fully leaving behind the identity that has shaped them.
This is a thought-provoking and personal question, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what being gay means to you, how it has influenced your life, and whether you would choose to change it if you could. Would altering your sexuality lead to a better or different life? Or would it mean losing a part of yourself that you’ve come to embrace?
So… if you had the chance to stop being gay, would you take it? What would motivate that choice, and what new sexual identity would you choose? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
“For members of the LGBTQ+ community, being gay is more than just who you’re attracted to – it’s a crucial part of your identity. more than just who you’re attracted to – it’s a crucial part of your identity.” No. Not for me. It is a part of who I am, but in no way us crucial. It in no way defines me. My mixed ethnic and racial heritage make up part of who I am, but in no way do they define me overall. Being Gay is no different than they are Yes, for some Gay guys, especially members… Read more »
Thanks. You saved me lots of writing.
Personally when it comes to sexuality, I don’t *identify* anything about myself… however, if my Dick only (and, always) got Hard for only women? …. Yes. Yes, I would happily fall back on what for 30+ years I knew, craved, and desired. BUT, after just a few (seemingly short) years of experience with Men fucking me I have to concede I don’t want the genie put back in the bottle. IMHO having Gay anal sex doesn’t make ME “gay”….any more than Straight sex would make me “married”. And, I can confidently say that about myself because, I am not and… Read more »
You are in the closet and in denial. Come out of the closet and accept the LGBT agenda as your personal savior!
…Nope.
You don’t comprehend much of what you read, do you?
No interest in being part of any *agenda*, and do not ever *armchair analyze* someone, and expect to be in the right.
You’re an idiot.
…go stuff your agenda if you’re not stuffing my mouth full of Dick .
Nope.
Save your Kool Aid sippy cups for your agenda meetings, and make out sessions.
nah! I’m perfectly happy with myself!
Good for you dude! That’s point!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. It is others who decide being gay is bad, which makes being gay for some difficult because of the lack of acceptance and discrimination faced in society. I think if a person is discriminated against, hated, and sometimes killed because of his sexuality, there may be a desire for change. Our society has seen this in many instances where people became something they are not to “fit in.” Some interracially mixed people passed for white, especially during the Jim Crow era. Some Jews changed their last name to avoid being sought out… Read more »
Oh yea! Jim Crow era was something from what I heard from the older folks (many now deceased) who saw it and lived it! Especially from those who weren’t white.
to disown your identity? Descartes wrote: “I Think Therefore I am”. we are who we are. the solution is to come to understand ourselves and our society and work within the limitation. we can prosper once we know the extenuating circumstances.
That’s not at all what Descartes meant when he wrote “cogito ergo sum”.
I was born healthy, Black, and gay. I wouldn’t trade either of the three for anything.
born on the savannas not in the jungles. I accepted myself long ago regardless of the flake from the black community or the white community.
white enough not to scare off the white boys; black enough to excite the white boys
white as freshly fallen snow
I don’t care who you are – using those 2 words “white supremacy” is downright disgusting!
it is my interpretation of my Zebra heritage.
LOLL!!L LOL!!! LOL!!!
I wouldn’t have a problem turning straight for all the sexual reasons. But, I just don’t like the idea of being in a marriage that could end in divorce leaving me broke from alimony. Or, being saddled with kids and or child support. I know we can get married now ,and this could happen. And if children were a concern I could just get a vasectomy before it became an issue. Straight people have problems that I’m glad I don’t have to worry about so much.
You do realize that Gay guys to can end up in a Gay marriage that ended in divorce leaving them paying alimony.
Isn’t equality great!
Just goes to show that even good causes can have “backlash” later somewhere in various levels.
Yes, I posted it “I know we can get married now ,and this could happen”.
This may come as a surprise, but being a heterosexual doesn’t mean you have to 1) get married OR 2) have children.
It doesn’t mean that you *have to*, but 99% of heterosexuals seem to follow that route, as it is what is expected.
Let’s not forget the double standards women have over men with divorce/alimony/child support/etc..
I would not give up the last 42 years of my life for anything There might be things I regret and wish I could have changed it but no I wouldn’t
Ask a straight person if they would stop being straight. WTF kind of question is that? It’s 2024.
Our friends at A4A really need help with blog/article questions. Multiple long time posters have said so. Some have offered desired blog/article topics they’d like to see but have been ignored.
they listen if you are a paid subscriber
Have looked into the VIP offer a few times during the two decades I’ve been on A4A. 150 Saves*/Blocks**? 20 Saved Chats? Plus other aspects that have no attraction for me. Can’t justify the price from a competitive standpoint. *Once I know a guy, I’m texting and phoning him so no need to Save him in the app. **Really, anyone blocking members at that level, might look to improve both what’s in their profile and how they choose members to contact. My profile, I’m told, is pretty about who I seek and what I have to offer. I don’t contact… Read more »
It would simplify my life since I’m a BiMM, completely discreet and run thru hoops to keep that proverbial closet locked shut. I don’t identify as a member of the LGBTQ+ community at all. I’m only in it for the sex. I’ve long since lost interest in making love to my wife (or any women), so yes, I wish a magic wand would make me totally straight.
I dated the same young lady all through college. We never did anything beyond heavy petting. I moved halfway across the country to complete my schooling. I was in my mid 20’s and had my first experience with a man. WOW!!! Was THIS the filler to the emotional disconnect I had been missing for all this time? On a holiday break from school I returned home and met up with my girlfriend. To answer my own nagging questioned, we did our bit for the procreation for our species, twice. To this very day, I have NEVER told her that I… Read more »
I’ve been gay for as long as I can remember. I lived a straight life for many years and all it got me was fucked over. At my current age, the only thing I’d like to change is my looks. I don’t seem to attract men at all.
Many years ago, a friend came over after being to a gathering where he said they were discussing the possibility of being able to “push a magic button”, and you’re no longer gay. My partner of the time who came out VERY late in life,pushed the button. That surprised me, and kind of hurt my feelings! However, I knew that I wouldn’t want to do that. No, my life wasn’t perfect then, and isn’t perfect now, but being gay is ME. I wouldn’t be the same person if I wasn’t gay, I kind of like me! So the answer is… Read more »
I grew up without really thinking about sex at all. If anything, I was attracted to the beauty of women. I CHOSE to enter a semi-sexual relationship (rarely occurs) with a friend to make him happy. When that is no longer the case, I will happily go back to being straight… not that I really consider myself “gay” right now. At best you could call me “bi”, but I would even disagree with that. I know being gay is wrong in God’s eyes. I know it’s a selfish and “easy way out” right now, to satisfy my sexual urges without… Read more »
If I were 25 yo, id change, but at my age now, why bother.
Sexuality DOES NOT FUNCTION like an off/on switch! That’s like telling someone if can stop being straight, will they do it? It really boils down to these factors and these factors alone…if you get a boner looking at female body parts that arouses you and the male body doesn’t tickle your fancy, you are Straight and vise versa gay. And it’s a no brainer if you find both arousing then you’re bisexual. It doesn’t matter whether you’re into a woman ROMANTICALLY and men SEXUALLY, because most men in denial that tries using that as a crutch to say well I’m… Read more »
I finally figured out that I was probably gay when I experienced unexpected feelings for a gay guy that I had never met before. Feelings I never experienced with women (married, w kids).it is an overwhelming bonding feeling with the right guys. I now know and cherish saying publicly that I am gay. No straight guys can know what gay bonding is like. It is awesome
I know, women are just a lot of trouble and expense. Plus pussies are only a few inches deep and you run into the hard stop of the cervix. My 9 inch dick loves to hit the inner ass sphincter and feel it grip my dick head with massive cum sucking tightness.
Yup, give me the pill. To no longer be associated with this LGBTQIA+BS alphabet soup of mental derangement, sign me up! I’d rather be a boring straight guy than be a part of this embarrassing excuse of what this so-called community has become.
But then you would have to have sex with women and buy a lot of dinners, jewelry and designer hand bags. I love that men just want great sex from you and women tease you with pussy, to get a wage slave to support them for life. I like anal sex better any way and while women have an asshole, they charge more for it than pussy !
Yeah because it’s only about sex, right? Typical vapid response. You made my point.
Yeah, because sex is so…UNIMPORTANT … But a dumb deity con game is important. Pining for Jesus or Allah, is so pathetic. You want real VAPID? How about any “Gentlemen’s Club” LOL!
HELL NO! I was straight for the first 34 years of my life. Gay is soooo much better. I guess I just love kissin’ on men a lot more than I like kissin’ on women. A LOT MORE!
Long, long ago in a galaxy far away, lmao, no, man wtf, why?
I love aalll of me, period, wouldn’t change anything, not even for the perhaps perceived as “ease of being” NO!
I’ve come to see me as being chosen by mother nature, not to reproduce, I’m just part of nature, therefore, I long ago accepted that on a spiritual level.
I’m a fraction, in the history, of the ongoing trail blazers of homosexual’s freedom, to love and be loved, by whom we choose to love, needs no permission from anyone, thanks!
my point was less wordy!
Lmao, so, how does that impact you or what you’ve said, suggestion “choose your battles more carefully,” just sayin’.
impact me? hardly i just commented that what i posted and what you posted were similar, i was just a but less wordily.
“Elaboration” in this case, further details.
I’ve been right-handed my entire life. It’s what I know. It’s who I am. This line of questioning makes about as much sense to me as if you’re asking me would I like to be suddenly left handed?
ambidexterity might be an asset?
I would not stop being gay . I just would not been the whore I was in high school. I would have sex with my cousin n the state champion in the 400 meters..
I think a lot of guys will insist on being more PC/idealistic than honest when it comes to this question. I actually would change it if I could. There have definitely been good times, but there has also been lots of isolation, depression, feeling very limited, health concerns, problems finding true friends (who aren’t ultimately seeking “sexual friendships”), and other issues that I feel are directly and indirectly related to my sexuality. Nothing else in life has made me feel as trapped. However, I also generally believe that anyone who predominantly dates men will have to deal with A LOT.… Read more »
If I could be straight without ever knowing I was gay, YES. . if not no.
This is a shitty ass question to ask. The question itself implies that what you are is not acceptable. We are who we are born to be. I’m pretty sure straight people don’t ask one another “If you could stop being straight, would you?”
Heck no I wouldn’t stop being gay! I was attracted to my male neighbor around age 5 😉 Didn’t lose my virginity until college. Multiple long term relationships, but still seeking my husband!
When I was in high school (1974) the trope of gay men was that you would have a miserable life with everyone hating you, because you were a pervert. But I have had the BEST GAY life ever! I traveled all over the planet and thousands of beautiful men were my “friends”. I could and did make friends with Marines in San Diego, Puerto Ricans in NYC, Hawaiian Gods on Maui, Brazilian Gods in Rio.I was KING of the bath house and would have a LINE OF HOT MEN 3-4 deep, waiting for my dick. I could go on for… Read more »
Just to make point. Gay men in the USA, don’t have it as bad as women in Muslim societies. They actually cut out the clitoris of women and sew up their vaginas with thread so they will never feel sexual pleasure. They only leave a tiny hole to pee, that a dick can’t even enter (to keep them pure) and when they are forced to marry some old man at 14, he cuts the hole bigger with a knife to get his dick in and all she ever feels is pain. Religion is the root of all evil…
no, i wouldn’t stop being gay, this is how i am, i was born like this, gay genes and all .. what i want to stop is the rampant, pronounced and definite hatred and homophobia that comes from my parents and family .. it’s very frustrating to me that they still can’t seem to shake off that type of abhorrent, repulsive attitudes that they have towards gays, bisexuals, trans people, etc. .. hence i gotta be in the closet, due to these idiotic morons, honey! just stupidity, it doesn’t even have to do with their attitude, if only they would… Read more »
At this point why would I want to be straight? I will just keep being who and what I am. Prior my 50s, I always wanted not to be gay. My lifestyle revolved around sex and being uncomfortable around heterosexual men for long periods of time.
No. But I wish certain talk of being gay automatically means pedophiles would stop. (Funny thing, MAJORITY peds are HETERO (yet they DON’T want to acknowledge that)!)