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Sex without kissing: is it a dealbreaker for you?

We are asking because a gay man on r/askgaybros asked, “Why don’t DL guys kiss?” He added, “I mean really what’s the issue when they’re already sucking my dick, eating ass and getting fucked? Most have said to me that kissing is gay or too gay for them.”

Many have speculated on the forum, and the answers reveal a range of perspectives. One user humorously noted, “It’s gay/intimate—they be Simone Biles with their mental gymnastics.” Indeed, for some gay men, not just DL men for that matter, kissing seems to evoke a level of intimacy that feels “too gay.”

Another popular opinion is that kissing feels more personal than sexual acts. As one commenter put it, “It’s hard to avoid eye contact when you’re kissing someone. Faces convey a lot of emotions, and that might be what scares them.” For them, trying to maintain a sense of heterosexual normality, avoiding kissing is a way to keep emotions and vulnerability at bay.

There are also stories of awkward encounters. One user shared, “I hooked up with this super masc DL guy. He said he didn’t kiss, so we fucked. He wanted me to meet again, and I said only if he kissed. He ‘tried,’ but his idea of trying was me kissing his motionless lips. Ugh. Never again.”

Some suggest this avoidance is rooted in internalized homophobia or a distorted sense of masculinity. DL men may see kissing as “too romantic,” which could make them feel they’re crossing a line they aren’t ready to acknowledge. As one commenter bluntly noted, “They think being intimate damages their manhood.”

But does the no-kissing rule bother you? Would it be a dealbreaker in your hookups or relationships? Many see kissing as a natural, passionate extension of sex. For others, the lack of emotional connection makes the encounter feel incomplete.

For some, the “no kissing” policy creates a dynamic where the other partner feels like nothing more than a physical outlet. “It’s simple,” another gay commenter wrote. “They don’t want to build an emotional connection with their fuck toys.”

So, Adam4Adam readers, what’s your take? Is not kissing a dealbreaker for you? Or does it not matter if the chemistry is there in other ways? Lastly, have you ever hooked up with a DL guy? Do they refused to kiss like what OP said?

Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments section down below.

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