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Hey, guys! Often, I’d read comments from tops about how their boyfriends can’t cum while bottoming, and then they’d ask: is this really the norm? This being said, are you a bottom? If so, how true is this for you, and are you okay about not finishing while being penetrated?

We scoured the internet for what gay men had to say on the matter, and in this thread posted recently, the original poster confessed:

“I’m (for the most part) a bottom and I actually prefer not to finish during the whole thing, especially not before the top does. It’s kind of weird but I sort of log in the memories of the whole experience, then when I’m alone I get off on those very memories; taking my time to finish on my own.

If I were to finish first I’d feel totally bummed straight after and the mood would dissolve like cotton candy in water. So… am I a rarity on this one?”

One guy replied, “I’m fine with not cumming. My satisfaction is getting my partner to cum. The feeling of his load entering me is what satisfies me. If he wants to help, fine. If not, I’ll jerk off later.”

Another guy said, “Tops don’t always ‘finish’ if that is what you are calling it. And I am okay with that. Many bottoms find it disconcerting though, as if it was on them.” He added, “I judge sex based on how much I enjoyed it, not whether or not I cum.”

In addition, another top commented, “I’m a top and MOST of the time the bottom doesn’t cum. Sometimes I offer to ‘give a hand’ and it’s usually turned down.” Further, he said, “It’s a win for me. After I cum, I’m usually checked out.”

Meanwhile, a guy who confessed that he’s a bottom explained why he prefers not to cum while bottoming. He said, “I’m a bottom who prefers the top to finish first because I can’t deal with a dick afterward because it starts hurting later. I’ve heard this is prevalent for other bottoms as well.”

Lastly, a guy advised sex partners and couples to just, simply talk, and tell each other what they want or need. “It depends on the guy, some are happy not to and others want the top to finish them off.” He added, “Everyone is an individual and the best thing to do is communicate before the act to find out what each person wants / needs.”

Having said all that, what about you, guys? Are you a bottom? Do you prefer to finish before the top as well? As for tops, do bottoms not really cum most of the time? Do you talk to your partner about what you want or need or prefer in bed? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!  

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