(Photo Credits: Peter Selbach from Pixabay)
It’s as the title says, guys, would you ever cuddle with your straight friend? We are asking because a straight man wants to know your thoughts regarding this matter, he asked on Reddit, and we quote:
I am a straight guy and I get so, so depressed and lonesome a lot of the time. I really love to cuddle, but I don’t have a girlfriend and you can’t really ask a girl because it seems sexual. Out of curiosity, would any of you guys ever cuddle with a straight friend?
The gay men of Reddit weighed in on the issue and here is what some of them have to say: one of them said cuddling with guys is a big no-no because it’s “kinda sexual” and they might pop a boner and freak out their friend. Another man contradicted this answer and said that no, “not all guys (get turned on) like that, straight, gay or anything in between.” He explained that cuddling is “not sexual for everyone. Maybe most people, especially in the US since that’s the culture I know. But many of us have cuddle puddles or platonic cuddling with friends non-sexually.” It’s a response that’s been agreed upon by many because, as one of them explained, “Humans crave affection independent of sex. It depends on the guy. A lot of them would be just fine with it, but other ones wouldn’t be able to control themselves.” He said that it all comes down to being firm about boundaries and making said boundaries clear to both parties. Read the thread here.
But what do studies say about man-on-man cuddling? Well, it turned out that the respondents of this study were okay with cuddling and spooning with another guy; in fact, 93% of them said they have done it before already. The students even revealed that they also “engage in spooning, when one partner holds another from behind as they lie down” and that “even early-morning erections weren’t looked down on by respondents.” With erections, they say that they simply break “the resulting tension and awkwardness by joking around.” The same article however, cautioned readers that the “findings don’t apply to everyone” because “the study’s sample was definitely limited.” But why do they love cuddling? One respondent answered, “I love a quick cuddle, just so you remember your friends are about and are there for you.” Read the study in full here.
What about you, guys? What do you think about cuddling with a straight male friend? Would you ever cuddle with a straight friend and more importantly, based on your experience, do straight guys normally cuddle with other men? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
My oldest brother has been married to 5 different women. He loves women and loves being married. Back in 1968 during the Vietnam war he was drafted to serve our country in war. Coincidentally his best friend from high school was drafted the same time. They went to basic training together at Fort Dix in New Jersey and was together all the time. After basic training they were deployed for active duty in Vietnam. They were separated for the first time. They both served 18 months in Vietnam and never saw each other again since basic training. After they finished… Read more »
MATT (BLACK):
I was touched by your admission that your oldest brother served in Vietnam…as I did.
I am glad that he came back safely as did his friend. My brother did not as he died in 1967. Tell your brother that you were befriended by a Vietnam Vet and he wishes Your oldest brother good fortune and continued good health. I have been exposed to “Agent Orange.”
PTSD sharing guys are not the general lot. Without a doubt they could be expected to hold onto someone they went through hell with. They are not your everyday gay guy with a “straight” friend.
Hunter0500 & MATT (BLACK)
My friends are long dead from Vietnam.
Cuddling is a catharsis for many; for me, the catharsis is visiting their graves and speaking my words. I cannot cuddle the dead. I am a realist not a dreamer.
I thank the both of you for your acknowledgements; they are appreciated!
Oooh Rahh!
All due respect, not all soldiers have PTSD.
Awwee. Sorry to hear about the agent orange ordeal your dealing with. Praying for you!!! I will certainly tell him my friend. He made it back home safe but unfortunately he’s still dealing with mental health issues from the war.
why has this become about the soldiers, the question was about sleeping with a gay or straight dude
Great story Matt, being deployed several times myself I actually enjoy my solitude. Yeas I have my playmates, but in all honesty I too had cuddles with my fellow soldiers. There’s a bond, and it’s difficult for those that haven’t witnessed the horrors of war to understand that on can cuddle without any sexual intent.
Oh ok Jim. Thanks. I just developed much respect for you knowing you served in the military!!! No amount of money can measure the bravery and honor you guys deserve. I can attest to the cuddling without sexual intent when I use to cuddle with my beautiful little daughter and my precious nieces.
Yea, I have my granddaughters to cuddle with. And if anyone tells you a real soldier doesn’t cy, tell him that’s untrue.
I have never been in the service but I do have a lot of respect and appreciation for those who were and are in the service defending our country. It’s sad that so many lives have been messed up because of war, and my heart goes out to them. Hugging each other is a great way to help relieve the stress, hurt, and anguish that you guys have gone through. Vietnam was an awful time for this country. Every soldier who went over there should be given the greatest respect and honor they deserve. Hugs and cuddling are meant in… Read more »
If your “straight” friend cuddles with you, he’s not 100% straight. He may present himself as straight. He may not have sex with men. But if he’s getting physical with you beyond a simple handshake or hug or shoulder pat, he’s not 100% straight. If he gets under the sheets with you without being fully clothed (as shown in the picture above), he’s not 100% straight.
Nothing wrong with it. He’s just on the spectrum at this particular time.
I have done it with females and nothing has happen, but with one of the men being gay, I dont see it happening, whether he was behind me or in front of me. I wouldnt put myself through it. If he needs to cuddle with someone, go and cuddle with the sex you are attracted to. otherwise you better be ready to have sex , even if its just oral
Don’t push your fantasies onto the entire male population.
What fantasy?
You need to calm down.
By your logic, my having cuddled with a woman means I am not 100% gay, but trust me I am, and I have cuddled with women.
I have in the past as they know I’m their friend and nothing sexual is going to happen.
I would definatly cuddle and spoon with a str8 guy i just love cuddling
I have cuddled a completely straight man before at his request. Just to make sure neither of us got any “funny” ideas if anything popped up and poked the other he placed a pillow between us around that area and called it the friendship barrier. I do feel it is possible for straight and gay men to be able to cuddle and it not be gay
If he requested it, he’s a hair at least a fraction less than 100% straight. No problem.
I would. I have. For the guy who says cuddling means the straight guy is not straight, I remind you that siblings cuddle and that’s generally a comfort act, nothing sexual about it. A Brother From Another Mother is a good description. It occurs to me, the acronym sounds like “Be Fam(ily)” so there’s nothing necessarily sexual about it. In fact, it’s because he knows you won’t think he’s gay, that he asked you, his gay friend, and not one of his macho pals. Truth is, if you trusted him enough to reveal you were gay, you have a truly… Read more »
Sibbllng cuddling isn’t what’s being discussed. And unless you and he have discussed it you can’t speak about what’s going on in his head. He’s most likelyvl less than 100% straight.
Siblings do not cuddle! Getting boners with each other while cuddling is gay. Not 100%, perhaps, but it is definitely directed to the same sex. Cuddling is part of a relationship, you don’t just give it away willy-nilly.
Cuddling is fun and if my cuddle buddy pops a boner it will just trigger me to act on an impulse I have had for quite some time but have been unsure how to go about it.
Look him in the eye and ask “can we talk? All’s good but can we talk?” Let him know he’s in a safe place whether he chooses to physically explore or chooses to keep his guard up. Let him know you support him in confidence vby letting him talk about things he is trying to sort out. “Straight” guys often have had to keep their shields up for decades. You could be the guy who recognizes and supports him for that while offering him a safe place.
That lonely man isn’t a man. He’s still a boy and he is putting himself in danger of losing friendships and being taken advantage of my perverted gay men. Don’t play with fire.
Absolutely I would. Nothing wrong with it, it’s called friendship. Plus cuddling is just part of sharing human touch, and bonding, which are good for us all. The world needs more of it.
it’s reddit though
WHAT in HELL could one possibly hope to gainin “cuddling” a straight guy???
Maybe giving “a guy on the spectrum who has lived his entire sexual life being something he knew he wasn’t but didn’t have the freedom/ability to express it”, a safe haven.
The quoted question raises little red flags in my mind. He wants to cuddle but doesn’t have a girlfriend; why is that? How is asking a man to cuddle any less “sexual” than asking a woman? What makes him think that asking the wrong man to cuddle would draw a less vigorous refusal than asking the wrong woman? My intuition tells me this guy is likely self-absorbed, which explains why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It also would explain why he’s seeking the comfort of intimacy without the obligation of actually investing in a relationship with someone of the gender… Read more »
I’d cuddle with any friend straight or gay that wants to or needs to cuddle.
I think the question is not whether we as gay men would spoon a straight guy. the question should be directed to the straight guys in that, would THEY spoon or be spooned by a gay guy.
it’s sad that every show of emotion by a gay guy towards a straight guy is presumed that they want to sleep with the straight guy. And that’s just not the case.
FINALLY!! A rational and logical comment on this topic. I would add that George’s comment applies to cuddling gay guys. Not all shows of emotion mean you want to sleep with the person.
I’ve cuddled with several of my straight guy friends in the past, and I will in the future. On some cases it did have a sexual result, but that’s never my intention and my friends and I just need cuddles sometimes. It’s a very nice way to be more intimate with your friendships.
I would definitely gladly “offer” this service…male or female….but I snore…..damnit…..
News flash, those friends weren’t straight if it ended up sexually, they’re clearly bi or, latent homosexuals.
I love cuddling my gay friend. Yes I am bi, married, and do enjoy cuddling him and at times we go further. He is my EVERTHING.
It may occur in some rare instances but I would say more often then not that the straight guy is at minimum curious, the gay guy would more then likely get a hard on sleeping with a man that he probably dreamt of being with before and would either end up in the two having sex or the two not being friends any longer
everyone on here has gotten away from what the subject was about, now we are comparing sleeping with a straight dude to sleeping with our daughters
I think it’s great two men being able to cuddle, comfort and support each other, without sex, regardless, of their sexual orientation… and shared experience in trauma, yeah, I can see it, its called humanity.
I would, but I’d also warn him upfront that I would get super turned on by it.
If I had a really close straight guy friend who I didn’t have any sexual attraction to, then yes. Men need cuddles and platonic physical contact.
No truly straight man wants to wake up with another man’s wood near his ass or, his near that guy’s ass. Let’s keep it real, those that do are clearly latent homosexuals, bi-curious or, very confused.
Cuddling is the ONE thing about not being in a relationship. Well that and kissing. And being his human urinal every morning. I guess I am more of a romantic than I think I am.
I have cuddled and slept with a lot of straight guys. Often it is the someone I had hugged once or twice at some point in the past (death of a friend, parent, pet, or at graduations, other parties/gatherings). It happened a lot in college. Since my circle tends be light or non drinkers so there is not “clouded judgement” occurring. I also believe that the lack of physical touch has created many of the mental health problems we see today, but that is a different topic. 80% of the time we are fully clothed on top of the bed… Read more »
I can honestly say it confused me when my straight male friends were intimate with me in that way. I have cuddled with a couple of them when I was in my twenties. I felt uneasy about it. One of them has gone as far as holding my hand in public. This is recent, while we are in our 50s. It confused me immensely and it pissed me off. I didn’t understand what was going on with him to make him do that. It made me uncomfortable. So I pulled away and asked him why did he do that. He… Read more »