(Photo Credits: Screengrab from PinkNews’ YouTube Account)
How often do you get asked this question, guys: Are you top, vers, or bottom? (Vers has a variation of its own as well, by the way, and that’s versatile top and versatile bottom). And more importantly, do sexual roles matter to you?
Anyway, we are asking because we stumbled upon this video of queer playwright Willy Hudson with PinkNews who talked about his play titled “Bottom” and sex—specifically sexual roles/position.
“We do need to reshape the way we think about sex,” Hudson said in preamble before talking about the stereotypes that come with these labels, how tops are seen as masculine and how bottoms are seen as feminine. He explained that the top, bottom, and vers labels are “so unhelpful and so unnatural” that we should “dissolve” the categories. He added, “Top, bottom and vers labels aren’t reflective of all the different kinds of sex and intimacy that can exist.”
Moreover, Hudson said, “Sex is about connection, it’s about vulnerability, it’s about intimacy, that a person doesn’t even need to have penetrative sex to have sex because there’s a whole world of experimentation and developing yourself and finding what you like which is way more than just top, bottom, and vers.”
Indeed, sexual roles are about personal preference and nothing more but why do these labels exist? Is it perhaps to check if they are sexually compatible with someone? According to this article, it’s because “some men use these descriptors as a guide, while others see them as necessary before sex or dating.”
But what do you think guys? Is it time to ditch the labels? Would you say that these labels limit your sex life? Comment below!