Speak Out: When He Refuses to Wear a Condom
It’s as the title says, guys, what if your hookup or date refused to have sex with you the moment you said you prefer to fuck with a condom? It’s because they are on PrEP they’d say, or that they just got tested negative.
We are asking because a friend of mine recently sent me a message on Instagram and he told me he had a date with this guy but then everything fizzled out when condom use was mentioned. Not only did the guy say the date and, well, sex is off once he learned my friend only have sex with a condom on, the guy also told him the relationship could not go any further.
I read about this issue online on a regular basis as well, how some guys would get pressured into having unprotected sex because the other party says he is on PrEP. The scenarios vary: guy #1 for example, had a regular fuck buddy and they’d been having unprotected sex for quite a while already when one day, his hookup said he tested positive for chlamydia. He didn’t catch it but when he asked the guy to hookup again a month later, only this time he suggested they use condoms, hookup blocked him. Then, there’s guy #2 who got ghosted by his boyfriend (who he had been seeing for a month only) when he said he wasn’t ready to go bareback yet. There are plenty of stories really but they vary a bit, and usually their story would come with a question: when is the right time to go bareback with your boyfriend or partner? Or, how do you respond to guys who don’t want to use a condom?
While we don’t have the answers to all these questions, we can at least remind you of the health risks that come with barebacking and how important sex education is in order for us to be able to make an informed decision. Of course, consent is the most important not to mention communication is key to any healthy relationship so let your hookup or partner or boyfriend know what you want. As for tips on what to say to guys who refuse to use a condom, NHS has words of advice for you.
That being said, the emergence of PrEP has led some guys to refuse to have sex with guys who prefer to use condom. What do you, Adam4Adam members think of this? Also, have you ever been ghosted by a boyfriend or fuck buddy because of this issue? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.